You’re just about to do it – you’re going to take action and stop drinking.
But then all of a sudden, you hear it. The voice in your head which says:
“What if you can’t do it? What if you try and fail… like the other times?”
Before you let those doubts and fears paralyse you, there are two important things you need to know.
I explain everything in today’s video – click here to watch.
Key points:
Choose your discomfort
If you’re starting to panic, remember this: all you’re really doing right now is choosing the type of discomfort you’d like to move forward with. You can choose the discomfort of using alcohol – and all the consequences that come with that – or you can choose the discomfort of not drinking and having to change some patterns and learn some new things. My point is, you are going to face some challenges and discomfort no matter what you do next – it is completely unavoidable! So it’s just a matter of choosing which option you want to go with.
Which escalator do you want to be on?
Last week I shared this tracker to help you make an assessment of your drinking and see how it’s impacting your life. Filling that out will help you decide if you want to keep putting up with the status quo. Are you ok with the discomfort of drinking, knowing that if you continue, it’s going to get worse over time? Drinking puts you on an escalator that’s only going in one direction – down. Sobriety might be tough in the beginning (because it’s new and different) but ultimately it’s an upwards escalator and life gets easier and easier.
Ask yourself: Could it be different this time?
Even if you’ve tried 100 times before, if you tried again, is it possible that things could be different this time? Are you at least 1% open to the idea that this is, in theory, possible for you? Even if you’re just 1% open to the idea, then the question becomes not IF you can do it, it’s really a matter of HOW you can do it. It’s a “how” question. What would be required in order for you to do this? What would you need in order to make alcohol-free living happen and for it to feel sustainable and like a lifestyle upgrade?
Keep an eye out for my Take A Break From Booze Masterclass
Inside my free masterclass, I’m going to show you everything I think you need to be successful. I’m excited to share my step-by-step plan with you and help you get going with a mixture of practical support AND mindset hacks so you can put your focus in the right place. Mark your calendar for Thursday 5th September. It’s not often I get to do these big free trainings and you’re not going to want to miss it!
And finally…
I’ll leave you with one of my favourite quotes: “Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.” Because it is! Your fears and doubts are normal and they’re going to be there for the ride. But if you can find a way to take action despite them, then you are setting yourself up for truly great things.
34 responses
I love getting your emails, with your words of wisdom & the videos.
Yes, they offer me a lot of help.
Thank you
Fabulously encouraging as always.
Cant wait to start the course in September.
Your post are what started the road to sobriety for me, I had felt alone with my problem relating to misuse of alcohol, I felt desperate at times , but what a stroke of good fortune for me back in the early hours of a dark January morning, I found Kate from sober school.
You truly make sense of this sound destroying habit. Gave me the strength at a very difficult time in my life, to start the change, and from the testimonials of your students past , I know with the course I have every chance of remaining sober.
Anyone out there who hasn’t signed up or is in the fence ,do it, if your happy with what you are gettig from the post, just imagine how much one you will gain from the education program. I sat on the fence for a long time, now ready to jump in and embrace a life free of alcohol. Cant wait . Thanks Kate .
Thank you Lorraine, I can’t wait to show you the freedom that alcohol-free living brings; truly a lifestyle upgrade. 🙂
Thank you Kate – I check in every week for the on going support in my sobriety – 2 years, 6 months, 2 weeks and 3 days. ‘Getting Unstuck’ was the best decision of my life and whilst I will be forever grateful, I don’t take anything for granted. You are truly inspiring – thank you
Lovely to hear from you Anne and what a life changing decision that was back in early 2022!❤️
Hi Kate
I have only started following your page on Instragram and your videos. I feel very positive this time that I will be able to stop drinking for a while and take it one day at a time. Everything you say makes perfect sense and you are brilliant at getting the message across. I am going to do the tracker this evening. Thanks again.
Lorraine.
Welcome to The Sober School, a community of like-minded women united by the common goal of escaping the alcohol trap. Listen to the stories of my former students who are now enjoying their best lives after completing my course.: https://thesoberschool.com/success-stories/
I’m just starting but finding the support invaluable. My blood tests weren’t great and it was a wake up call for me but I’m going to do it – the reward is sobriety, happiness and more energy and productiveness in the future. I’ve also developed a passion for gardening which has really helped positivity. When I watch your videos and read blogs, it’s as if you got inside my head and know exactly what’s going on – where the temptations, habits and lack of self esteem come from and lead to. Thanks again to my namesake! Looking forward for the first time in a long time.
I do understand Kate because I’ve walked in your shoes which is why I created The Sober School to assist women who share our experiences. I’d love to help you find the alcohol freedom you deserve, please join me inside my online classroom in September. You won’t regret it, I promise: https://thesoberschool.com/course/
I love the enthusiasm of your videos Kate. When I started your Getting Unstuck course (January 2020) I was hoping to get the advice and tools I needed to stop (though I wasn’t even yet aware of the “tools in my toolbox” strategy.)
Now I go for days without thinking about alcohol Unbelievable, when I was still drinking. It’s a pinch myself moment to know I am living the magic that I once only dreamed about.
Thank you
AF: 1700 days today!!
What a cool number Nikki! It makes me so happy to know you are living the magical life you dreamt about. ❤️
Loving your videos. I have hope where I have had none for so long. I’ve been trying to cut down on alcohol for a long time but I do two or three days free then binge. Looking at your videos and success stories I realise the only way forward for me is to be totally alcohol free. I feel I am ready to embrace that now! I’m 5 days alcohol free which is the most I have done for a long time. I feel positive about the future now.
I probably won’t be able to join you on 5th September as I have family staying who don’t know I started drinking again. I’m on the list for the unstuck course. I just hope I can do that when no one is around. Thanks for giving me hope Kate.
Five fabulous days alcohol-free Sue – brilliant start! Waiting for motivation rarely works, you have to get started to feel it. I look forward to welcoming you to the classroom in September. The course is structured to accommodate anyone’s hectic schedule and offers complete flexibility, allowing you to complete the lessons on your timescale. https://thesoberschool.com/course/
Just a thank you message to you for all of your helpful videos. It was 2 years alcohol free on the 17th August I did it with your help. My life has changed completely, my skin, my hair, my energy levels. To anyone starting the journey its worth it, keep going, it is certainly a lifestyle upgrade !!
Thank you for these awesome videos I receive in my email. You are helping me so much in the encouragement that I receive from you! You make so much sense and make me feel that I can finally be able to concur this crazy back and forth that I do with alcohol. I want to quit but I feel like I’m in a constant battle with myself. I’m looking forward to the master class you are making available on September 5th
You’re very welcome and yes, that constant mental chatter is exhausting. Let the battles end!
Thank you Kate .. I’ve just joined up after having another weekend where I didn’t know when to stop drinking at a party and have spent the rest of my weekend with hangxiety, feeling completely washed out and really so annoyed with myself.
I was tempted today however to have a glass of red but I didn’t as your email popped up and stopped me in my tracks. I really enjoyed your video.
I so need your help. I watched both my Mum and Husband die from cancer. If i dont have a drink I dont sleep. Ive tried not drinking and lie awake for hours. I want to stop, can you help me?
Yes I can help you Julie and I’m so sorry to hear of your family bereavements. Alcohol is a known cancer causing drug and a wrecking ball when it comes to sleep because it interrupts the restorative dream sleep that we need. By staying alcohol free you may find things take a little time to settle down as your mind and body get busy restoring your natural patterns, but any sleep you do get will be of a much better quality so keep going. 🙂
Thank you Kate, for your thought provoking video. I’m all in for that 1% that this time I’ll be successful.
You are right in stating that either way, we have to pick which kind of escalator we’ll be on. The down escalator of compounding discomfort leading to sickness and a poor quality of life?…or the up escalator that starts with discomfort but dissapates before you reach the top, leading to overall health and wellness?
This analogy really puts not only the journey, either up or down, but also the end-game of the destination, whether one reaches the top, or descends to the bottom. I am really looking forward to gleaning the gems you’ll share in your course starting on September 5th. Also, I’ve completed my worksheet. Stunning numbers! ($$$)
Kindest regards, Rose
The joy and peace that accompany sobriety cannot be overstated, and the additional savings are certainly a welcome perk!
I really like the phrase lifestyle upgrade and will use that with those who may want to sabotage me, even subconsciously.
I stumbled onto your site over the weekend but I can’t remember how, which is in of itself a wake up call but also cheers me on as at some level I want to make this lifestyle upgrade. I think your key messages in this video are really useful, which discomfort? Really resonates, the discomfort of changing and trying new ways is really fear of failure as you say.
I am almost at the end of a 2 and a half year legal battle to exit a 25 year abusive marriage, I’m exhausted mentally physically and financially. There is a flicker of hope, I am saying to myself, what if Kate is right, what if it does eventually get easier? Can I allow myself to recover. I would really like to join your workshop on the 5th as a starting point if possible. Thank you Kate.
Really helpful. I’ve tried and failed so often I’ve got stuck in believing I’ll never succeed, so I hear myself saying give up – but I don’t want to. It’s very confusing and debilitating. I’m hoping I can get on your September course, and I’ll definitely be at your 5 September meeting. 4 days sober x
Hi Kate
I have been following you and your encouragement for most of this year and often feel really positive about stopping drinking – then I drink. It doesn’t have to be an occasion or night out, I just convince myself it doesn’t make me a bad person and, most of the time, my drinking isn’t excessive – just constant, ie every night. I want to not want a drink and would love to be a person that says ‘just a water please’ and not feel like a wet blanket. I have sober friends who show no judgement either way but, I’m going to New York next month and my friend has said how much she’s looking forward to us sitting in a rooftop bar sipping a cocktail. How do I cope with that? Many thanks as always. Joanne
I can help you change your mindset about alcohol where you’ll be asking “Why would I want to drink”. A trip to New York, sipping mocktails on a rooftop bar with your friend sounds amazing – no alcohol required to enhance that experience. 🙂
Hi Kate
I am enjoying your blogs. Is the September sober school running? I’ve expressed interest, but haven’t heard anything.
Expect to hear more about the September ‘Getting Unstuck’ course shortly. Additionally, watch out for my free workshops before the lessons commence. A wealth of inspiration is headed your way!
Hi Kate
Everything you have said about trying to stop drinking as well as what others say reflects so strongly on what I am experiencing but scared to admit but your blogs have changed my mindset and I am looking forward to being free of the reliance of alcohol to experience happy times
A world of opportunities and happiness unfolds when you no longer focus on what’s in your glass. Sobriety is less about willpower and more about choice – we choose freedom!
I took your class October of 2021 and I’m doing great. I still like receiving your videos even though I would never go back to drinking. I feel amazing and hope that everybody can open the door for themselves by working with you.
Congratulations, Allison, on your improved lifestyle! I am honoured to have been a catalyst for this change. 🙂
Hi Kate, your continued support and advice is so much appreciated. I really love the quote about ‘fear’. We seem to live our lives fearing what others think, may say, whether we fit in etc and this quote reminds us that we need to face these fears and be confident in ourselves. Sandy
Thanks for your valuable resources!!!
Hi Martina, You are very welcome, I am glad they are helping you.