Kate's Blog

What These Sober Women Want You To Know

There are so many things I wish I’d known about alcohol-free living before I quit. 

Back then, I was convinced my life was basically going to be over, if I couldn’t drink. 

Without alcohol, I thought I’d either die of boredom or I’d become a sad sober loser –  abandoned by all her friends – and the loneliness would do me in instead. 

(Dramatic? Me? Just a bit…)

With those kinds of beliefs, it’s no wonder I was a bit resistant to quitting drinking. And I know I’m not the only one who anticipates the worst.

So here’s my attempt to put your mind at rest. 

I’m going to pass on some messages for you, from a few of my Sober School students.

I met up with them in person last month and asked them to write you a message. Watch the video to see what they have to say!

Key points

These aren’t small achievements. These are life-changing moments that happened because these women put down the wine glass:

  • “749 days sober. My big win? Being effortlessly alcohol-free. No mental chatter, ever. An upgrade indeed.”
  • “399 days sober. Thousands saved. My big win? I like myself.”
  • “1076 days sober and £10,000 saved. My big win is that I got myself back.”
  • “Seven and a half years sober. Saved enough to buy a car and get a mortgage on my own. My big win is that my partner has never and will never see me drunk.”
  • “£6,000 saved in 1,120 days. My big win? Dealing with the sudden death of my husband without returning to drinking.”
  • “I’m 3.5 years sober and I saved enough money in sobriety to get my teeth fixed – and I overcame my agoraphobia.”
  • “Sobriety doesn’t need to be boring. Sobriety rocks.”
  • “What a life upgrade it is.”
  • “How good a nine-hour sleep feels. Life is bloody good fun without booze. People don’t really care if you’re not drinking.”
  • “I wish I’d known there was nothing wrong with me because I was struggling to stop, and I didn’t have to be ashamed about being addicted. That I wasn’t broken.”
  • “I wish I’d known that I could still be fun and interesting without alcohol.”
  • “I didn’t know that I could be successful. I was so worried about failing after so many Dry Januarys.”
  • “The importance of education. You need to know the truth about alcohol and the power of a community.”

These messages were written by Sober School graduates who attended my recent event in Birmingham. As I said in the video, I know you might not believe me when I tell you how good alcohol-free living can be. But I hope these real, heartfelt notes do strike a chord with you, and perhaps you’ll be able to believe the women who wrote them. 

I hope you noticed that not one of these women described sobriety as a sacrifice. Not one said they missed drinking or wished they’d waited longer to quit. What they talked about was freedom, sleep, money, confidence and getting themselves back.

Ready to create an alcohol-free life you love? Click here to learn more about my Getting Unstuck course.

Hi, I'm Kate

I founded The Sober School to show you there’s another way out of your shame that doesn’t involve AA or rehab. 

Comments

6 responses

  1. Yes, anyone can look at those women on the video and see they love life. I do too, nowadays. I especially liked the comment about addiction – anyone can become addicted to an addictive item! Freedom becomes non-negotiable (what I wished I had known).

    1. Thanks for sharing what you wish you’d known before getting sober. Freedom from the alcohol trap is one thing I wish I’d known too, but when you’re inside the bottle, you can’t see the label. 🙁

  2. I am just finished a 5 day course of librium, to stop physical seizures from stopping alcohol suddenly after drinking everyday for 5 years. Now on day 7 of no alcohol and I have so many plans. Yes I am scared of losing friends but I will learn to enjoy the ones who care for me personally, and not just me on drink. Looking forward to the future…….its still a battle obviously, but I will win

    1. Hey Laurie, well done on getting a week of alcohol freedom under your belt. It’s so great to have plans that don’t revolve around alcohol too. I wrote a blog about socialising with friends that I think you’ll find really helpful: https://thesoberschool.com/how-to-be-sober-when-everyone-else-you-know-drinks/.

      Alcohol-free living doesn’t need to be a battle so check out my online coaching programme where I show you how to quit drinking without feeling deprived or miserable: https://thesoberschool.com/course/

  3. Eighteen months sober and no looking back except regret that I didn’t go sober earlier. It’s a mindset . Drinking was just a pattern and of course addictive and I couldn’t moderate. I was a functioning alcoholic. I am about to become a granny and without any hesitation as I know I can be fully present for all my children. I tried several times to to do the month without alcohol but actually I couldn’t even manage that. Yes I had days off during the week( because of my job)but when I retired there were no barriers_ just the well why shouldn’t I _ I have earned it . It was a slippery slope and my sons started to become concerned.This was not the picture I had of a happy healthy retirement full of life when after a few glasses of wine I fell asleep . My sons are so proud of me as were my friends and a couple of them are also starting this sober journey too. I simply couldn’t have done it without your help and the support of others on the course too . Thank you

    1. Ah Sandy, it’s fantastic to hear how you’ve changed your mindset and created the kind of retirement that you deserve which is loving and fulfilling. I’m so proud you made that commitment to yourself and your family. Thank you for sharing your experience here. ❤️

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