“There was the fear of giving up alcohol, because it’s your best friend – and the fear of living with it, because it’s your worst enemy.”

It got to the point where I was absolutely panic-stricken – I was terrified. I had tried so many times to stop. I’d struggled for a long time to try and ‘control’ my drinking, but of course it was controlling me.

I’d also read a lot of quit lit. I’d get a new book and I think, “Okay, this book is gonna change my life.” And although it was remarkably helpful, it never quite got me there, which just made me feel more of a failure.

Education for me is the key to everything, so when I saw The Sober School I thought, “This is what I need to do. I need to learn my way out of this.” So I did the course religiously – I listened, I learned, I did the background reading, I did the writing. Reading my list of reasons to stop now makes me weep. The course isn’t just about sobriety. Sobriety is the nub of it, but it’s really a course about self-care and looking after yourself. Putting yourself first.

I was a very good secret drinker, as many people are, I think. Recently I asked my children what difference they’d noticed in me since I quit. They said I was very disconnected when I was drinking. I was also more emotional. And looking back now, I can see what they’re talking about. After a point in the evening – once tea was out the way – then it was my time to just numb out and not have to think. So I couldn’t talk to my boys about school or homework etc.

I had a very small world when I was drinking. After I quit, I wanted to take more risks again. I got back into dancing, which I’d done as a teenager. When I’m dancing, I can’t think about anything else – I feel pure joy!