I used to love going to boozy BBQs and picnics – they were the perfect excuse to day drink.
The warm weather made me crave alcohol, and the idea of watching the sun go down, stone cold sober, seemed unthinkable.
So when I quit drinking, I was surprised to discover that summer parties were still fun… even if everyone else was knocking back booze.
If you’re about to tackle your first sober party, boozy BBQ or wedding this summer, I’ve got four tips to help you through it.
Key points
Get clear on why you’re meeting up
No matter how much booze there is, the gathering is about more than sitting outside and drinking. (If that was all it was about, then you’d just stay at home!) The real reason you’re going is to connect with humans, e.g. catch up with old friends, celebrate a birthday or spend quality time with family.
When you know what the point of an event is, you can see that you’re going to get that no matter what you’re drinking. You aren’t missing out – all you’re doing is pouring a different liquid into your glass.
Decide in advance that you’re not going to drink
It sounds obvious, but how many times have you decided to wait and see how you feel, only to end up drinking?! Save yourself the mental torture of going back and forth over the decision by determining in advance that you’re going to stay committed, no matter what.
Remember – you can’t figure sobriety out without overcoming a few challenges. Pushing through something like this, sober, is how you grow. This is how you teach yourself that you’re capable of more than you think, and you don’t need alcohol to have a good time.
Keep an alcohol-free drink in your hand
When you’ve already got a drink on the go, it’s easier to turn down the offer of something you don’t want. It also gives you something to do with your hands if you’re nervous. Plus, staying hydrated helps prevent cravings for alcohol.
If it’s appropriate, take your own drinks with you and pack more than you think you need. You’ll be amazed at how many people will choose soft drinks if they’re available. People aren’t as obsessed with alcohol as we tend to think!
Plan ahead
Think through the event in advance. How can you make your life as easy as possible? If you know you’re going to eat late, have a snack before you go so you’re not distracted by hunger, as that can make you crave alcohol more.
Plan your exit. Can you drive there so you can leave whenever you want to? Plan your next day too. No matter how things go, you must celebrate yourself for stepping out of your comfort zone and doing something different!
Ready to create an alcohol-free life you love? Click here to learn more about my Getting Unstuck course.
19 responses
I have started my sober diary which helps with journaling my thoughts and feelings. Every month that I am sober. I will reward myself to a treat to motivate myself. I also have a gratitude journal which helps with my mental health as I focus on all the positive things in my life.
A sober diary is a great idea, thanks for sharing. Having rewards and treats along the way are very motivating; how about once a week? Who doesn’t love more opportunities to have a treat! Keep going Bridget, you’re setting yourself up for great success. 🙂
This is a wonderful practice! Thanks for sharing 🙂
Thank you Katie, I am struggling as it’s bank holiday here , Ireland, so there is want on me for alcohol, i am happy not drinking but lost sometimes, and going away end of august to Wales to see my daughter, and it will be drinks happy and food , but I really don’t want to drink , I am doing the 100 day sober challenge, so I am scared that I will fail
Make that commitment to a 100 day break from drinking as non-negotiable. Come hell or high water, you’ve promised yourself that you won’t drink, so you have to find a way to handle Bank Holidays, weekends, parties or holidays. Trust me, that’s when you have the biggest breakthroughs as you navigate occasions and social events alcohol-free.
Here’s another blog that I wrote on this subject that will help: https://thesoberschool.com/how-to-be-sober-when-everyone-else-you-know-drinks/
Thank you Kate. These are great strategies to remember and utilize.
Glad those four strategies resonated with you Sherrie. Thinking ahead really does make summer parties or get togethers flow better the first time you attend them without drinking. Rest assured, they won’t always feel strange and you’ll soon find your sober stride. 🙂
Thanks Kate! I love your videos! Great tips and great reminders!
One of my favorite tools I picked up in your course is playing the movie forward! It’s great! It helps me in many situations!
I’m coming up on 4 Years AF in just a few months!
November 3, 2021 is my AF date! Thanks for all the encouragement!
Congrats on your upcoming 4 years AF, dear Melissa! I am right behind you. January 1, 2026 is my 4-year soberversary. Yay us!!! We rock, thanks to The Sober School and the amazing Kate Bee!
Many congrats to you too Annie.❤️ Rocking the upgraded AF lifestyle for nearly four years!
Hi Melissa…congratulations on coming up to 4 yrs….I remember you from Sober School… im coming up on 16 months myself…. isn’t it wonderful being AF…I love it.
Sixteen months is amazing Isabel – very well done and keep on going because it gets better and better. 🙂
I love seeing your comments Melissa. It’s so inspiring to see you approach your 4th year anniversary xx
Lovely to hear from you Melissa and congratulations on your upcoming four year soberversary! That’s an amazing achievement and a significant milestone to reach. ❤️ ‘Playing the movie forward’ is a powerful tool so I’m happy to hear it’s helped you on a few occasions. 🙂
Hi, Melissa.
Yay, 4 years! Me too, on Sep 28th. This achievement fills me with joy and peace and reminds me that many more good doors open, when only one bad one is closed.
I love your videos! Thank you so much for these tips and reminders! They are extremely helpful and always seem to come at just the right time!
You’re very welcome Megan, so pleased my messages are helpful and timely. 🙂
I’ve heard your blog and I’ve wanted to be completed alcohol free for a long time …
I’ve decided today was my last glass of wine …
I really don’t need a bottle of anxiety!!
Wish me luck
Good to hear Laura! If you need any inspiration to keep going, pop in your headphones and listen to my free pep talk: https://thesoberschool.com/pep-talk