Kate's Blog

4 Reasons Why You’re Not Taking Action Yet

Does this sound like you?

You spend a lot of time thinking about your drinking: worrying and wondering whether you should quit.

You buy books about alcohol-free living and follow sober bloggers on Instagram. You wake up hungover and vow you’ll quit – only to question that decision a few hours later.

It’s exhausting, not being able to decide what to do.

My video today is all about the (totally understandable) reasons why we get stuck not taking action – and what you can do about it!

Key points

Reason 1 – Sobriety seems like a big decision

Here’s how to get round this: Take a break from drinking instead. You don’t need to be 100% certain about the future to get started – plus it’s impossible to know how you’ll feel in a month’s time, never mind a year or several decades away!

Taking a break for at least six weeks allows you to test drive sobriety properly. You’re taking action and getting into a new routine without the pressure of signing up for life. Once your break is over, you can always go back to drinking if you want – or set another short-term goal.

Reason 2 – You’re weighing up another option (moderation)

Here’s how to get round this: If you want to focus on cutting back, you can of course choose to do that. Just put a time frame on it. Check in with yourself – how long have you already spent trying to cut back? How many different rules and tricks have you tried?

Write this down so you have a record of what you’ve done so far. I cannot stress enough – you must write this down. Do not trust your memory to be a reliable witness for this. You need actual data about how this drug is affecting your one and only life.

Reason 3 – You’re not sure if it’s worth it

Here’s how to get round this: Keep a diary. Set a reminder on your phone so you remember to write a sentence or two about how you’re feeling, morning and night. Do this every day, regardless of whether you’ve been drinking or not.

By writing this down, you’re gathering important data about how alcohol genuinely affects you. This information is gold – it will show you, over time, how drinking truly impacts your quality of life. 

Reason 4 – You’ve tried and failed before

Here’s how to get round this: Come and get some support. It’s hard to take action when you’re quitting drinking alone and trying to figure everything out by yourself. If the pain of “failing” last time was so bad that you can’t bring yourself to try again, that is a sign that you need some coaching and help to manage your mindset.

It is possible to stay focused on your goals AND treat them seriously, whilst also being compassionate and learning from your mistakes. My Getting Unstuck course will show you exactly how to do that – click here for more information.

Hi, I'm Kate

I founded The Sober School to show you there’s another way out of your shame that doesn’t involve AA or rehab. 


22 Responses

  1. Kate, I am so pleased I did take your advice and am now over 200 days A/F. I am so pleased and proud of myself after a 52 year career of drinking wine and selling wine! My next 100 days will take me to over 300+A/F days by
    Christmas when my first grandchild is due to be born on 27th Dec. I have done this with her in mind and for my daughter, but more importantly for ME . I am enjoying life so much now and have only to to thank Kate and the incredible people I met on your course across the world . Thank you so much Kate ❤️✔️ I truly never imagined myself in this position never want alcohol to be a part of my life again xxxxx

    1. Congratulations Susan, so pleased to hear your 300 day soberversary will be such a special reminder of your commitment to live a better life ❤️

  2. I wish I could stop but I just think I would miss it to much. It would be nice to wake up in the morning with no regret…

    1. I recommend test driving alcohol-free living first for just six weeks; that’s long enough to see if you would miss alcohol and make an informed decision which kind of morning you prefer. There’s no requirement to quit forever. Join me in October for my new, updated programme of coaching and support: https://thesoberschool.com/course/

  3. Points 1-3 really resonated with me. Been there. But, I’ve always tried to stop drinking my wine on my own. And, of course, I’ve always known that there are lots of women in the same boat as me. A lot of my friends, in fact! But, the possibility that there might I might be able to become part of a community of women who could supply each other is very exciting.

  4. Kates course is a life saver. If you’re debating…stop and sign up. You won’t regret it. Sincerely Deb -835 days AF and alum from July 2021 class.

  5. Thank you Katie, such wise words as always. Moderation is the tricky issue with me, I keep convincing myself that I can do because so many people can moderate their drinking.

    1. Moderation is one of the many unhelpful stories that are challenged on my Getting Unstuck course; join me soon on the 2nd October. (Spoiler alert: moderation is a myth)!

    2. Your blogs are amazing and to everybody out there you can do it . I was a big drinker of red wine every night and had tried cutting down doing dry January etc but always fell back into the trap, that was until I discovered Kate and her words have helped me in so many ways it was like having a friend by my side helping and encouraging me along. I am now over one year alcohol free. Thank you Kate.

    1. You don’t have to do this on your own Judy. My online coaching programme would be a great fit for you. The next course starts 2nd October, keep an eye out in your Inbox for the details of how to register.

  6. I just started watching today and it has been so incredibly helpful. Everything you say is like everything I feel and have felt and have them through. I feel like I can do this now and I am on my way and I’m glad you’re there to help.

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