You spend a lot of time thinking about your drinking, worrying and wondering whether you should quit.
You buy books about alcohol-free living and follow sober bloggers on Instagram. You wake up hungover and vow you’ll definitely quit… only to question the decision a few hours later.
It’s exhausting, not being able to decide what to do.
Let’s talk about all the (totally understandable) reasons why we get stuck not taking action – and what you can do about it!
Keypoints
Reason 1: Sobriety seems like a big decision
Here’s how to get round this: Take a break from drinking instead. You don’t need to be 100% certain about the future to get started – plus it’s impossible to know how you’ll feel in a month’s time, never mind a year or several decades away!
Taking a break for at least 6 weeks allows you to test drive sobriety properly and get into a new routine without the pressure of signing up for life. Once your break is over, you can always go back to drinking if you want or set another short-term goal.
Reason 2: You’re weighing up another option (moderation)
Here’s how to get round this: If you want to focus on cutting back, you can of course choose to do that. Just put a time frame on it. Check in with yourself – how long have you been trying to cut back already? How many different rules and tricks have you attempted?
Write this down so you have a record of what you’ve done so far. I cannot stress enough – you must write this down. Do not trust your memory to be a reliable witness for this! You need reliable data about how this drug is affecting your one and only life.
Reason 3: You’re not sure if it’s worth it
Here’s how to get round this: Keep a diary. Set a reminder on your phone so you remember to write a sentence or two about how you’re feeling, morning and night. Do this every day, regardless of whether you’ve been drinking or not.
By writing this down, you’re gathering important data about how alcohol genuinely affects you. This information is gold – it will show you, over time, how drinking truly impacts your quality of life.
Reason 4: You’ve tried and failed before
Here’s how to get round this: come and get some support. It’s hard to quit drinking when you’re doing it on your own and trying to figure everything out by yourself. If the pain of ”failing” last time was so bad that you can’t bring yourself to try again, that’s a sign that you need some coaching and help to manage your mindset.
I can help you with this right now. Come and join Freedom Week for 7 days of free coaching and support. If you’ve been trying to fix your drinking with willpower and getting nowhere, it’s time for a completely different approach.
3 responses
I am wishing everyone well on freedom week. It is day 30 for me and I can honestly say that I have not craved a drink at all. I am absolutely amazed by this, but I really had hit my rock bottom of despair at how much I loathed my drinking habit and the effect it had on me and my life for decades, so I think that I started this AF journey from a place of, feeling that any challenge couldn’t be more challenging than my life with alcohol…I’ve now had several social events under my belt and managed to really enjoy them. I’m away on holiday next week but I’m planning ahead to manage what would have been a time to drink more. I’ve booked some shows and sightseeing trips as treats.
I hope I am not making this AF journey sound too easy because I know it’s DEFINITELY NOT!! I have had years of attempting moderation and all the failures and self loathing that goes with it. However, this time, I have found sober school and taken the step to be honest about my alcohol problem for the first time in 4 decades. I knew I had found people who really understand. And from watching just one video of success stories, I knew it was possible to be successful too. I feel so determined to create a happier life and I’m already feeling the benefits. It is still very early days and I still feel scared to say that I will never drink again even though I know I don’t want to drink again…I hope that makes sense, but something Kate said in the video helped me to see that I can look at that differently and it makes so much sense to take the pressure off the thought of “never.” I’m going to think of being AF as taking a break from alcohol. In my case, a life long break, but it definitely eases the pressure.
Thank you, Sober School and good luck and love to all on this journey.
What a wonderful message! Day 30 is such a powerful milestone and I can hear the relief, clarity and determination shining through everything you’ve written.
I love how you’re planning for your holiday and how you’ve already proved to yourself that social events can be genuinely enjoyable AF. That’s not “making it sound easy” – that’s the result of decades of struggle finally meeting the right support, the right mindset and a community that understands.
Well done on this incredible start. You’re doing something brave and life‑changing and it’s a joy to witness. 🙂
Thank you, Kate… you are so right! I couldn’t find the words to describe how supported and determined I feel to succeed but I absolutely do feel it’s about me finding absolute understanding and the right support for me. I feel so emotional when I listen or read anything on here that absolutely resonates with me. That’s included everything from relating to hiding wine bottles to hearing I am not to blame…any time I have had a wee cry, it’s felt like I feel understood and actually feel I am healing.
Love to all for your understanding.x