When I was trying (and failing) to quit drinking, I spent a lot of time romanticising alcohol.
I’d mentally replay all the good moments I’d had whilst drinking. And I’d torture myself with thoughts of all the things I was going to miss.
I talked about sobriety as if it was a punishment for bad behaviour… and then wondered why it was hard to quit! 🤦♀️
If you’re guilty of romanticising booze, today’s video will help you change that.
Key points
The mistake many of us make
We big up booze and romanticise alcohol – even when we’re trying not to drink it! We dwell on the good times we had together, the things we’re going to miss, how hard sobriety is… We keep alcohol on a pedestal, trying to soldier on without it, missing it and feeling very deprived.
Why changing your thinking matters
If you’ve ever met someone who’s several years sober but still craves a drink (I’m thinking of the people I met in AA), then you know they haven’t done this mindset work. We’re conditioned to view booze positively, but we can change this pattern of thinking.
Romanticising sobriety
If you’re going to romanticise alcohol, you need to romanticise sobriety too! Let’s give equal air time to the benefits of alcohol-free living. We’re not denying your feelings about alcohol – we’re just turning up the volume on a few thoughts that might actually help you!
Journal prompts
If you’re not sure how to get started with this, here are the journal prompts I mentioned in the video:
Q – How does a hangover-free Sunday compare to a hungover one?
Q – Who else in your life benefits from you being alcohol free?
Q – What everyday situations are easier when you’re not drinking?
Q – What are the tiny, subtle benefits to you being sober, that perhaps only you would notice?
Q – Describe one of your best alcohol-free moments so far
Q – How much time does drinking – and recovering – take up each day? Multiply that by 100 days. What would you love to do with that extra time?
Q – How might you feel if you set an alcohol-free goal for yourself and reached it?
26 responses
One of my best alcohol free memories is seeing Prince at a small festival, I was driving so couldn’t drink but I had the best time ever and I can remember it all so clearly, all my friends were drunk or high
What a special memory to treasure Sophie! That’s what the gig is truly about – enjoying the artist/performance you’ve paid to see, not the contents of your glass.
So inspiring and so helpful – thank you Kate – it’s really helpful to know I don’t have to pretend I don’t want a drink today – just switch the thinking around to know how much better I’ll feel tomorrow when I haven’t!
Indeed Karen, the motivation of waking up without a hangover is always amazing and never loses its appeal! 🙂
I love how my energy level has increased since giving up my nightly wine. My husband has committed to not drinking for six weeks as well, and he no longer falls asleep in our lounge at 7 pm snoring. Though she hasn’t said anything directly, I know my 16-year-old daughter is proud of the commitment I’ve made to my health and well-being. She seems much more willing to hang out with me in the evenings.
Getting rid of that permanent ‘slightly under par’ feeling that lingers when you drink every few days is so liberating. Having your husband’s support is fabulous and the pride of your teenage daughter is priceless. ❤️ If you ever need some extra inspiration, have a listen to some of my former students talking about their experience at The Sober School: https://thesoberschool.com/success-stories/
I stopped drinking on July 1st this year, six weeks ago my daughter got very ill and I was able to give her the help support and love she needed to make a full recovery, so thank you sober school for your help support and guidance
Among the numerous, often overlooked advantages of sobriety is the ability to be there for family when they need you most. It’s wonderful to hear that your daughter has completely recovered. ❤️
I’ve spent so many years trying and failing to stop that I find it hard to believe in myself and my ability to stop. I quit smoking successfully and I try to focus on that achievement but ultimately I end up with self loathing at failing again. I got married a year ago and failed to lose weight before the wedding. And despite vowing not to drink much I ended up tipsy and don’t remember the event as much as I wanted to. If I can’t even do it for my wedding day how pathetic am I?
We recognise the addictive nature of various drugs, and it’s no shock that cigarettes are addictive due to nicotine. Yet, the conversation surrounding alcohol, equally addictive, often shifts blame to the individual for weakness or lack of willpower, which is irrational. Experiencing addiction to an addictive substance is a normal reaction; the issue lies with the alcohol, not the individual. I can assist you in changing your mindset, breaking the cycle, and quitting drinking while feeling positive about your decision. Details of my online coaching programme are here:https://thesoberschool.com/course/
Dear Jan, please don’t keep beating yourself up. Congratulations on your recent marriage! Who cares if you didn’t lose weight. I hope you are loved and happy. You are more powerful than you know! You can drink too much a thousand times & still be a good and valuable person. You deserve to be happy and healthy. The self loathing leads to the drink which leads back to self loathing… and so on. Accept that you are worthy of love, especially from YOU, and the booze may lose its appeal. Why would you want to poison somebody you love? I believe in you, Jan!!
From my own experience 4+ months into sobriety, there is a massive difference between a hangover-free Sunday and a Sunday following binge drinking.
A weekend alcohol-free is special. I often wake up early on both the Saturday and Sunday because I’ve been able to sleep normally the night before.
The Sundays start with a sense of abundant time and potential — I look forward to having a full day that I can spend on self-care and restorative practices like reading a good book, preparing foods that I like, and going for walks.
I also look forward to winding down for the night on Sundays, knowing that I’ll again be able to sleep normally and wake up ready to start the week on Monday.
I love that – abundant time and potential. That’s true freedom from alcohol. ❤️
Best alcohol free moment was just before watching this video. I have just been for my first long run since deciding to stop drinking. Normally I would have invariably rewarded my run with a drink. Today I actually took the time to appreciate the runner high afterwards.
The natural high from exercise requires no chemical sedative to take the edge off – well done Teresa. 🙂
I started soberoctober on 27th September and haven’t had one craving – yet. The best thing about these past few days has been waking up and realising I didn’t drink again last night and the feeling of complete satisfaction that my day is starting without a headache or upset stomach. I’m concentrating on the ‘what’s the point’ question when it gets to ‘that time’ and really not finding any good reason to drink. I intend to carry this through to dry January and beyond
That’s a really good question to ask yourself Joanne, “what’s the point of alcohol?” It serves no purpose, benefit or service. In fact all it can deliver is a hangover!
This is really helping me. I’ve been sober for eight days and started to feel deprived today and bereft. However, reading the journal prompts and these comments has enabled me to really enjoy my evening.
I’m still not sleeping well but I’m sure that’ll come with time.
Thank you Kate and thank you everyone. X
Just the boost you needed. Getting through the first week is often the hardest part, so you don’t want to repeat them. Your sleep will improve Tracy, but it takes time to settle, so another reason to keep going. 🙂
Thank you for your thought provoking questions…yes it’s great to wake up each morning feeling proud of myself
It’s great to hear so many positive and encouraging comments. For me it’s not the drinking every night but when I do, it’s very difficult too stop and then I can go from sober to drunk quite quickly. We all know how drunken behaviour can make you feel and how it can take to get over it especially when slightly later in life!! I am hoping for onwards and upwards and to generally feel better about myself.
It’s never too late to make a change for better health and vitality Viv. Let me help you feel better about yourself in a way that feels empowering and fun! Find out more here: https://thesoberschool.com/course/
Hello Kate
Thank you for your aspiring videos. I managed two weeks beginning at the end of September….then I blew it. Have felt terrible. Now day 3 and I feel better today. Iam aiming for 6 weeks which is November 17th. Iam 66 now and clean living is my goal. Upwards and forwards!
Alcohol really has nothing good to offer and can only deliver a hangover. Sobriety isn’t a sacrifice, it’s an upgrade and you deserve that. ❤️
Hi Kate, your videos are very inspiring. I have done the alcohol test which has come back that I am high risk of becoming dependent if I don’t change my lifestyle!! My drinking has become an evening, daily habit, drinking at home, over the last few years and now I am ready to break the cycle and take back my life so I can start enjoying it more. It’s only day 2 but I am ready to do this now and stop with the excuse ” I willl start tomorrow”. I will continue to follow your blogs and all the inspiring comments to keep me going and stay on the right track, so thank you . AJ
I’m so ready for this course. I’m eating my way out a hangover from 3 paltry glasses of wine that I really wanted and feel a miserable failure again.
If you open up another class before January I would jump at the chance.