You promise yourself that you’re not drinking. But then…
Work was sooo bad, you need a drink afterwards.
You go out and everyone else orders wine, so it’s hard to say no.
You get home and find your favourite drink chilling in the fridge.
Has any of this stuff ever happened to you?
This week’s video contains a great tip to help you stay on track in all of these situations. I nearly didn’t share it in case you think it’s boring… but the thing is, it really works!
Key points
Planning ahead works
By this I mean, thinking about your day in advance and planning how you’re going to handle it without drinking. Do this first thing, or when you’re feeling the most motivated and committed to figuring things out and staying on track. Scan ahead and anticipate what’s coming up.
We do our best thinking in advance. We don’t do so well in the moment, when we’re caught off guard or we drift into a situation like going to the pub after work. If someone offers to buy you a drink and you haven’t really thought about what you’ll say or what you’ll have… you can end up freezing and it seems impossible to order anything but alcohol.
“My life is too unpredictable for planning…”
I agree that sometimes things happen which you can’t anticipate. However, that doesn’t happen as often as you might think. Us humans are fairly predictable creatures and we tend to do the same things over and over again.
More often than not, the things you drink over can be planned for. For example – date nights, Friday evenings, stressful days at work. If you regularly drink to decompress from your job, planning another way to cope with that will prevent a lot of your drinking and keep you on track.
“Planning ahead is boring!”
I know, I know – I said it was a boring tip with a boy-scout vibe. We all want to be free and spontaneous, right? But as I just said… we’re not actually that spontaneous, most of the time. And drinking causes a lot of pain and discomfort.
This planning ahead thing is only really necessary in early sobriety – you won’t need to do it forever. It’s just that right now, you are changing some of the things you do on autopilot, without thinking, and it takes a little work (and yes, planning!) to stay on track to begin with.
12 Responses
Please help x
Help is available Ellen, please come along to my free webinar on Tuesday 26th September at 6pm UK time (that’s 1pm in New York or 10am in Los Angeles) where I can tell you more about getting started on your alcohol-free journey. The link to register is below my blog. I’ve worked with thousands of women who want to take a break from booze, but hate the idea of missing out or feeling deprived and I can help you too. ❤️ Here are the details about my online course that is due to start again on the 2nd October: https://thesoberschool.com/course/
This is great advice! When I first began the course, I made sure I made a list of the day’s activities, and they included some of the things I learned in the course—yoga, meditation, exercise. I also have an “emergency kit” in my car! It includes some treats and some inspiration—just in case! I love this message! Thx!
Excellent planning Ann and I love the emergency kit idea – effective and NOT boring at all! 🙂
I love Ann’s concrete suggestions. I am so often at a loss fort what to do as a replacement for alcohol. I am retired and the evenings can be long and boring.
Kathy, I talk to a lot of women who cannot believe how much time they spent on drinking and missing out on the luxury of being sober. When we drink, we become fixated on one thing: alcohol. Even if we’re not drinking all the time, we’re still spending an awful lot of time thinking about drinking.
With this fixation on one thing comes a shoving to the side of all others. We stop living our lives to the fullest. We don’t bother with the little luxuries because we don’t have the time, energy or ability. We get by on the basics. We think that all we need is alcohol.
Alcohol-free living isn’t about ‘giving up’ anything – it’s about upgrading your habits and lifestyle. You’re escaping from a trap and losing something that made your world tiny and small – and in return you get the keys to a new, first class life. I often say that sobriety is a lifestyle upgrade and it’s so true!
Appreciate your emails. Thanks to my courage in trying your online course, I have had years without the pains of alcohol.
Let me reccomend your class to those who aren’t sure if they might benefit. And it is interesting to me that I now see alcohol free beverages available almost everywhere. Even in Mexico, in the smallish town where I vacation!! Life is SO much sweeter waking up fresh. BTW, I just turned 73. Hope that fact may encourage others.
Thanks for your lovely comments Margaret and yes, I have women taking my course at all ages because it’s never too late to live your best life! Please join me to make the rest of 2023 pain and alcohol-free: https://thesoberschool.com/course/
That was realistic advice, not at all boring. Without contingency plans in place, it’s far too easy to be thrown off course by life events, both large and small. Thanks again to Kate for addressing real issues with practical strategies.
Hi my name is Kelly, I got alot out of the live chat which explains the keys to go through which talk about why! I’m struggling because I know why but I’m exhausted fighting this, I know I can stop but it’s for the wrong reasons and I am to blame because i let it happen, I don’t know who I am any more and it scares me who I will be without alcohol!!!! I get quitting and my brain is on board but my body and heart don’t know what to do? I feel like I’m failing x
Hi Kelly, It can be a lonely and exhausting journey when you’re doing this on your own. You are not to blame for this, you are having a perfectly normal reaction to an addictive drug. I can help you make sense of all of this and help you take a break from alcohol without feeling miserable. My online coaching programme would be a great fit for you. Here are some more details: https://thesoberschool.com/course/
Thankyou Kate, really appreciate the encouragement and will look into the course. I’m starting to go back over your videos and getting alot from those. I also have great church family and I’ve ordered some books to keep me busy and help me build myself up again and gain my confidence back. I really thankyou for your emails they are positive and keep me motivated xx