In my drinking days, I used to open a bottle for all kinds of reasons.
Sometimes I’d drink because I wanted to feel less stressed. At other times I’d knock back a glass to help pep me up and get me into party mode. And then there were the days I drank to chill out and go to sleep.
But when you really think about it… how can one liquid do all those different things? How can it provide all those different services?
I think the idea that alcohol can do everything is a lie – and that’s exactly what today’s video is about.
Key points
A multi-purpose pill?
Can you imagine if your doctor prescribed a pill and said you could take it for any reason in any situation? It didn’t matter whether you wanted to relax and unwind, liven up, have fun or chill out – one pill would do everything you wanted. You’d be sceptical, right? And yet that’s exactly what we expect alcohol to do.
How can a liquid do one thing on one day… and then provide a completely different service for you on another? How does it know? It doesn’t! Alcohol wasn’t even invented in a high-tech, state-of-the-art science lab. It’s just a crude, toxic poison that’s been around for centuries.
What’s really happening
Our minds are incredibly powerful. We have thoughts about booze that lead us to project qualities onto alcohol that simply aren’t there. When everyone around you drinks – and believes that one liquid can do everything they need it to – it makes sense that we believe it too. We then subconsciously collect evidence that supports that belief.
If you’re struggling to quit drinking, the chances are there’s something you believe alcohol does for you. Maybe you’re not ready to drop that belief yet… but perhaps you can agree that it’s a bit strange that we expect one drug to perform such a wide variety of jobs?
Talking of drugs…
Imagine your doctor prescribed you something that came with the following side effects: headaches, sickness, lethargy, insomnia, bloating, dizziness and a red face (to name just a few). How would you feel? Pretty disappointed I expect!
You’d probably research the drug and take careful note of the side effects you experience, to decide whether it was worth it. Perhaps you’d go back to your doctor to complain and ask for something different? We have such high standards in other areas – so why not apply them to alcohol too?
Looking to create a sober life you love? Click here to find out more about my Getting Unstuck course.
28 responses
I love that you drop these emails on a Monday… Try to start the week right! Everything you say makes sense, I’ve had a damp January, not perfect but less than usual and I’m slowly analysing and having revelations. I’ll keep trying.
My mission is to help women start every week right and I believe being alcohol-free is the best way to do that ❤️ If you’d like some help and support with the analysis, please join my next online course here: https://thesoberschool.com/course/ It would my honour to work with you on this and other mindset revelations.
Thanks, Kate, for sharing the blog and video. I have to admit when I first came across your website and information last summer, I didn’t plan to become totally alcohol free, but I wanted to cut back. I completed the Sober School course last fall (class of Oct. 2022), experienced sober living and received such an amazing education through the class, I am totally excited to be living my intention of “Alcohol free in ’23!”. I’m loving my sober life. Sober holidays, sober parties, sober birthdays, sober every day … really happy and so clear, crushing my goals and having fun. Life is amazing.
That’s so amazing to hear Deanna – we never know what sobriety can show us until we give it a go! ❤️
Fascinating! Flipping this on its head, for me these were all excuses to drink rather than reasons for it. I drank because I was addicted to a highly addictive substance. I knew that, but felt the need to excuse or explain it – hence (for me) trotting out the well-embedded lies about all its miraculous and far-reaching benefits!
I love watching the scales fall from women’s eyes as we uncover the many lies about alcohol on my Getting Unstuck course – the next one starts in April, more details here: https://thesoberschool.com/course/
Thank you really helps xx
Thank you for this video it really helpful I can relate to that for me they were excuses to have a drink but it now has made me really think about it
I drank because I was highly addicted to the substance at the moment I’ve been of the alcohol for over a week onwards and upwards I’ll keep plodding on T b.H it’s not been very easy but I must keep going
Stopping drinking doesn’t have to be tough. I can show you how to quit without feeling miserable. And yes, you can get sober without going to meetings, labelling yourself or being in permanent ‘recovery’. There is another way of doing things… We only get one life – don’t let something like alcohol hold you back.
So logical yet this is the first time I’ve thought about alcohol in this way. Wow, so incredibly powerful for my inner argument to bolster the side I want to win! Thank you Kate x
You are very welcome Val and I’m glad to hear this resonated with you. A different perspective is sometimes all it takes to flip the narrative in our heads…
Thank goodness for your monday reminder of why I need to continue with sobriety. I’m at 18 weeks and feel so much better after 30+ years of regular alcohol intake. Unfortunately I feel so much better that I want to enhance that with a drink. Will it enhance my feeling of contentment? Maybe for a couple of hours, then tomorrow I’ll want the magical liquid to perk me up. Your talks make me realise that really considering whether to have that drink or not reinforces the reasons not to. Thank you
Yes for me too its the realisation that its not always the downs that make me want a drink, but it is to celebrate the highs. I think that is something we miss hitting on this sometimes, but really important to understand how to compensate for that if we are to stay on our AF journey. I am still struggling with that one I’m afraid.
Just the truth. Always find an excuse to drink and because it became a bad habit it’s really difficult to get a better routine and avoid alcohol. Still working on it but I question it more and more, guess I am on the right path ….
Being curious about why you drink is a good place to start. Is there an unmet basic need instead, such as thirst, hunger, fatigue? Next time you feel the ‘habit’ kicking in, have a listen to my free pep talk: https://thesoberschool.com/pep-talk
Never thought of drinking in that way.
It makes you second guess that need for a drink.
Do you really want those negative side effects?
Yes very true , anything for a drink , have to admit I’m struggling, tryed and failed yet again and to be frank scared to stop , as it become way of life hitting wine before wine o’clock going to give it another go to be sober wish me luck regards bertie
You deserve to unwind at the end of the day, but alcohol is no reward. Try something different at wine o’clock – have a listen to my pep talk here: https://thesoberschool.com/pep-talk and set yourself up for an evening of relaxation the natural way 🙂
I drank for every one of these reasons, And I was the woman who would almost never take a pharmaceutical without analyzing and researching to the max. Seeing alcohol in this way and becoming alcohol free has finally brought congruence to my life. Thank you for perspective and for sharing your wisdom.
I love the bit about the side affects. That really hit home that we can use alcohol as a pill for all these reasons but we wouldn’t do so with anything else that gave these side affects. I refused to even take medication for depression and anxiety last year when I lost I my dad because of the lethargy they can cause, so why do I think booze is better?
Exactly Sandra, it’s crazy when you switch perspective isn’t it? Sobriety isn’t a sacrifice, it’s an upgrade!
I don’t really use alcohol as a crutch as such or am I in denial? For me, it’s now a habit and something which I do on a weekend because I always have. That’s the cycle, for me, that I need to break. Very thought provoking blog, thank you.
You’re welcome Carolyn and I’m glad it’s got you thinking because often we don’t question our habits until they start having a negative effect. Just think what else you could do with the time freed up from not drinking, thinking about drinking or recovering from drinking – the world is your oyster 🙂
Enormously helpful, thank you. I did a pub quiz last night with four lovely girlfriends who were all knocking back the red wine and I stuck to fizzy water. I am so proud of myself today. I feel great! But – I would also say that it can take time, or it has done with me. It’s not just a case of saying no, is it? I’ve been exploring sobriety for a couple of years and managed some long stretches (the seven-month one got me unaddicted), but it’s taken me this long to be sober at an event like this and genuinely enjoy it. And I still lean on and need the pep talks and steers on perspective. Thank you again. x
You are right Catherine, it takes time to re-learn how to navigate a social situation that was firmly associated with alcohol before, but it doesn’t take long before socialising sober is the norm and much more enjoyable as you have experienced – well done! This is exactly the mindset shift and different way of approaching sobriety that I coach women on in my online course if you’d like to join in April for extra support: https://thesoberschool.com/course/
Hi Kate, it’s taken me a while to start reading the great advice that you give. I’m struggling, I’ve started going to weekly meetings for addiction problems, downloaded hypno therapy, read as much as I can about alcohol and what it does, I’ve written pros and cons to giving up alcohol, positives are as long as my arm, but just can’t seem to get past 3 days without it! I know that once I get past 1st week, i have more will power.
Would love any tips, advice just to get me past that 1 week goal.
Thank you x
Remember that alcohol is addictive so after 3 days, your brain is sending you big urges to drink to get the next ‘hit’ so it’s a perfectly normal response. It’s the substance that is the problem, not you so don’t beat yourself up. Have a listen to my free pep talk for encouragement next time the cravings strike: https://thesoberschool.com/pep-talk
So true….I would never take a pill that has such huge side effects. Infact, I was recently taking an ‘anti craving’ medication that had a similar side effects to a hang over, so I stopped taking it! Yet, I wouldn’t make this decision with alcohol…..bonkers!!!