You receive nine positive comments about yourself (or your work) and one piece of negative feedback… and find yourself totally consumed by the “bad” one.
Can you relate? (I’m hoping it’s not just me!)
Well, guess what? The same thing can happen with alcohol-free living too.
We can have so many sober wins, so many things going well for us… yet all our brains want to focus on are the bits that are less good, or that feel hard.
Today’s video is all about combatting this so you can focus on the stuff that actually matters…
We’re naturally a bit negative
The brain is wired to scan for problems, so it can anticipate them and protect you. The downside of that is that you can take some time off drinking and not really appreciate the sober wins, because your focus is elsewhere. And then that thing – that challenge, or whatever it is – starts to become bigger and bigger in your mind.
This isn’t toxic positivity
This isn’t about pretending that there aren’t fears, doubts and worries. We don’t want to dismiss them. But we do want to tell both sides of the story. Most of us are experts in talking up alcohol and talking down sobriety. That’s the thing we’ve practised for years and years, so we’ve got really good at it. And it takes conscious effort to change that.
Ideas for flipping your focus:
- Keep a list of things you love about alcohol-free living. Add something to this list every day
- Download a sober app to track how long you’ve been sober for and how much money and time – and how many calories – you’ve saved
- Take regular selfies to see how your appearance changes. The difference might surprise you!
- Create a sobriety photo album on your phone to remind yourself of your sober wins – this is particularly useful if you’re a visual person
- Start a list of things that would never have happened if you’d been drinking
Take some action now
What’s happened to you recently that simply wouldn’t have happened if you’d been drinking? Please let me know in the comments below… You can answer this whether you’re days or weeks into your journey. Don’t be afraid to get super specific with this. Life is all about the little things!
Looking to create a sober life you love? Click here to find out more about my Getting Unstuck course.