Have you ever found yourself wondering exactly how much you drank last week, but then shrugged it off because – honestly – you’d rather not know?
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. When I was drinking, I remember not only hiding it from other people, but hiding it from myself too.
I know, it sounds crazy, but it’s surprisingly easy to do.
In today’s video, I’m diving into the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways we downplay, overlook, and even forget about our own drinking habits…
Key points:
It’s easy to accidentally hide your drinking from yourself
If tracking your weekly intake feels tricky, it’s not just about forgetfulness. There are the sneaky ways we blur the truth—like topping up a glass without noticing, skipping measurements when pouring spirits, or choosing smaller bottles to make it feel like we’re drinking less.
It’s easy to tell yourself that a quick drink while cooking dinner “doesn’t count,” or that you’re “just sharing” a bottle with your partner (without acknowledging that you’re having most of it!) This is a problem because when we don’t fully see what’s happening, it’s difficult to change. What we avoid dealing with just keeps us stuck.
If you can relate, here’s what to do next:
1) Bring awareness to what you’re drinking. Every sip, every glass—write it down, log it in your phone, whatever works for you. Just start noticing.
2) Acknowledge how it feels to track your drinking. If you feel guilt, shame, or frustration, that’s important information – it’s telling you something about what really matters to you.
3) Recognise your own strength. If you’ve managed to keep drinking and keep life looking “normal” from the outside, that’s a lot of effort. But here’s the good news: that same determination and resourcefulness can be redirected into stopping. And that, I promise, will be easier than what you’re doing now.
I’d love to hear your thoughts
Can you relate to this idea of hiding your drinking, even from yourself? Let me know in the comments below.
15 responses
With your help I’ve continued to be alcohol free now for over 6 months and I don’t miss alcohol at all, mainly because my health and relationships have improved significantly.
Thank you for all your excellent advice and continuing support.
Regards
Carole.
That’s amazing Carole and so glad my advice helped you make significant improvements in your life. I often say, sobriety is a lifestyle upgrade!
This is the truth and a strong argument to keep moving forward. But I’ve been exactly where Kate is referencing and I couldn’t stand the shame. I didn’t know how to end the cycle before I stopped drinking. It was a form of denial that became more apparent as time went on. I’m glad I’m sober. Shameless and proud.
This most definitely resonates with me. Once I accepted the fact that that that was what my life had become, I knew I finally had to do something. And, I haven’t had any alcohol since the beginning of September, 2024. My life is “real” now. For good and not so good, I can navigate my life much more effectively and am feeling free.
Congratulations Lisa!
The journey of sobriety is as much about building a new, real life as it is about leaving alcohol behind. True alcohol freedom is empowering and allows you to be the authentic person that you always were.
This did really resonate with me. I also try to hide it from myself and my husband. I say it is because I’m stressed but that’s just part of life and I need to pick a better way to cope. My birthday is coming up and I am going to give myself a present of sobriety during good times and bad.
Sobriety IS the best gift to give yourself all year round.
I’m 16 days dry
It’s hard but I’ll keep trying. Xxx
Thank you
When you’re doing sobriety the right way, it feels easy and empowering. Check out my online coaching programme that works on your mindset, rather than relying on willpower: https://thesoberschool.com/course/
Your words exactly describe my self, thought no one else could ever understand, thank you
Hi Lynn, You are not alone and you don’t have to do this on your own. If you need any more support, my online coaching programme would be a great fit for you. Here are some more details: https://thesoberschool.com/course/
I love all of your videos, but this one really hit home to me. I am a genius at hiding my drinking, in fact, a lot of my colleagues believe I don’t drink at all. Currently I am 11 weeks sober and feeling proud. Your great videos and words of wisdom have helped immensely. Thank you Kate.
That is fantastic Angela. You are most welcome, I am pleased you are finding my blog so helpful. Keep going!
Thank you for this – I am about to start my sober trip – and will keep watching these videos this evening when I want to fill the wine glass. Wish me luck and thank you!!
Hi Clair, You may want to check out my Pep Talk too: https://thesoberschool.com/pep-talk. Have a great alcohol-free, hangover-free weekend, they are the best!