Kate's Blog

Feeling Grateful: Because I Was Sober Today…

My American friends will be celebrating Thanksgiving later this week, and that got me thinking about the important role that gratitude plays in sobriety.

Alcohol-free living is a mindset game. It makes such a difference when you focus on what’s going well and on feeling grateful for those things. Yet it’s surprisingly easy to overlook the positives and miss the sober wins that are right in front of you!

It doesn’t matter whether you’re a couple of days sober, or a couple of years – the exercise I talk about in this week’s video will get you smiling 😊

Key points

It’s the little things

When it comes to alcohol and sobriety, I think we’re all a bit guilty of generalising and looking to the extremes first – the rock-bottom drinkers or the people who’ve completely turned their lives around. But for most of the women I work with, the changes they experience in sobriety are more subtle (though no less significant). 

Gratitude tips

The secret to a good gratitude practice is getting into the specifics. You want to find the stuff that might not seem all that big or dramatic on the surface but it makes a difference to you. Because life’s about the little things. One day you’ll look back and realise those were the big things! So much of life is created in the little moments as we rush from one thing to another. 

Because I was sober today…

I asked some of the women who’ve taken my Getting Unstuck course to finish this sentence. Here are a few of their responses:

“Because I was sober today, I had the patience to read to my kids at bedtime without thinking about my glass of wine downstairs.” (Marianne)

“Because I was sober today, I wasn’t panicked when a client turned up early for her morning appointment, because I was already ready.” (Clare)

“Because I was sober today, I drove my kids to school without worrying that I might be unsafe to drive.” (Angela)

“Because I was sober today, I was confident enough to challenge my boss and give him constructive feedback. Because I can now think clearly and am able to respond thoughtfully.” (Toni)

Now it’s your turn

In the comments below, please go ahead and finish the sentence, “Because I was sober today…” It doesn’t matter where you are on this alcohol-free journey, I know sobriety will be making some small but mighty differences to your life and I’d love to hear about it!

Looking for help and support to create a sober life you love? My Getting Unstuck course will transform your relationship with booze and yourself. Click here for more details.

Hi, I'm Kate

I founded The Sober School to show you there’s another way out of your shame that doesn’t involve AA or rehab. 

Comments

72 Responses

  1. Because I was sober today… I am sitting with my grief over a distant friend who passed away this morning. I am not going to drown my sorrows but in fact go to work and carry them alongside the rest of my complex feelings. Working through life’s ups and downs rather than detaching with drinking – It isn’t easy but it’s a reality I prefer to the upsetting influence of alcohol.

  2. Because I was sober today, I did my meditation this morning and enjoyed the feeling of having the dial on my anxiety turned down

  3. “Because I was Sober today”….my ex abusive Narcissist did not win today. I won today. I took back control of my life, my self worth and my health…..My life matters because I was Sober today……

    1. It’s tough to deal with shame and guilt around our drinking. My Getting Unstuck course is all about changing our mindset and preparing to live a fulfilled and happy life without alcohol. Here are some details of my course coming up in January. I’d love to help you turn negative thoughts into positive ones: https://thesoberschool.com/course/

  4. Because I was sober today (this weekend) I was able to help my elderly uncle go grocery shopping and clean his house so that he will be ready to receive guests on Thanksgiving. Sobriety equals connection…..

    1. What a kind thing to do for your Uncle. As we know drinking thrives in isolation, especially heavy, secretive drinking. Connection is a basic human need and is the key to making sobriety ‘stick’. Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving celebration with your family 🙂

    1. What a great feeling after a good night’s sleep and ready for anything! Good for you Lesley, onwards and upwards 🙂

  5. Because I was Sober today I was up and in the swimming pool by 7.30am and ready for work at 8.30 am feeling great on a Monday Morning!

  6. Because I was sober today I had good physical energy for walking up the staircase multiple times from my teaching studio. Springy legs are great!

  7. Because I was sober today (day 14!)My mind is clear enough to realize how much better I’m feeling every single day!!! Less anxiety and more calm.
    I am less about Surviving, and more about Thriving!

    1. It feels so good to be productive instead of putting off those household jobs, doesn’t it? Enjoy the fruits of your labours!

  8. Because I was sober today I felt more positive, I did not even think about alcohol whereas before it was there in my thinking albeit in the background.

    1. It’s so freeing when alcohol is no longer occupying our thoughts. It gives us back so much time and headspace to concentrate on the important things in life. Onwards and upwards 🙂

  9. Because I was sober today so far. I can relax with less anxiety and be grateful in the small things and look forward to my new state job without fear and resentment just for today.

  10. Because I was sober today I had a calm day, muddled through, glad to be warm indoors and enjoying being safe and me.. life is becoming better every day. I acknowledged a few fleeting thoughts and associations and was happy to let them go and come back to the comfort of my home .. the firsts will fade as I continue to go out .. great progress.

    1. Sober firsts are the way we grow into our sober shoes and build confidence in everyday situations without the booze holding us back. Great progress Angela!

  11. Because I was sober today my kids didn’t see me drinking wine on my own and so it’s one less time that I have made that seem socially acceptable to them. Because I was sober today I haven’t gone down the shop in the evening and wasted money. Because I was sober today I will have a bit more self-respect tomorrow and who knows how such a little thing will affect my life? Certainly won’t hurt!

    1. So many great reasons to stay sober Jasmine and it certainly won’t hurt to be a positive role model for your kids. Nobody ever regretted NOT drinking…

      1. So true Kate. I certainly can’t ever remember a time when I have ever regretted not drinking. Thank you so much for your inspiring wisdom. I have bought your book “How to go alcohol free” and I have found it very helpful and supportive. I carry it around with me for when I’m tempted, and it really brings me back in touch with reality again- enough so I remember my mission statement, what I am trying to achieve and why. I have had many good insights myself about alcohol over the years but throughout the course of life- the stress and the dramas etc these insights have been swallowed up. Your book is so concise and compact but crammed with wisdom and good thoughts. It’s a Godsend in fact. I highly recommend to anyone else reading this. I may sign up for your course in the new year also. I really think it would be worth the investment. I would really like to get to a place where I am no longer tempted at all eventually and have completely seen how pointless alcohol is. It never does what you want it to do- if you drink for stress relief it causes anxiety. If you drink for enjoyment it robs you of the next day. I really appreciate how this site talks about the grey areas of drinking. I used to be a lot worse but managed to ‘grow’ out of some of the rock bottom side effects. I was something I couldn’t handle being bad at and needed to ‘conquer’ but now I’m older and I finally got to the place I thought I wanted to be with it, the prize really doesn’t seem worth all the effort I put in to get there. It’s the same feeling you’d have if you spent 1000’s on winning a grab toy worth £5 from one of those arcade games- I realised how petty I’d been about myself that I couldn’t accept not being ‘good’ at something. Anyway, keep up the good work and thanks again, Jaz xx

        1. Hi, Jasmin. Kudos for your work of going AF so far. And you already experience all the positive effects. I am a graduate of Kate’s Sober School (1 year) and it was my best investment ever. And another win is the wonderful community of likeminded women along this important journey. You are worth it!

  12. Because I’m 36 days sober today. I have a clear head and catching up all the things I need to get accomplished. I have more energy.

  13. Because I was sober today I was able to join my husband for a walk along the river!!! I also made spaghetti sauce early this morning so it would have a chance to simmer.

  14. I’m making better choices around fuelling my body with food (and beverages) that nourish it, instead of being so hungry during and after drinking that I’d go for the easiest option eg crisps and then feel guilty for eating junk food.

    1. That’s it Toni, proper self care is identifying what our body really needs which is usually nourishment, hydration and comfort. No guilt with good, nutritional choices.

  15. Because I was sober today I was out of bed earlier than my dogs who got surprised by an early and long walk. I was able to engage in conversations with fellow dog walkers without bowing my head to hide my red eyes and sticking to one word responses for the fear of alcohol breath! I actually laughed and chatted away. Today was day 12 and today was great x

  16. Because I was sober today I could simply do the laundry and clean my house up a bit. Didn’t get to do it at the weekend cuz of the obvious…

  17. Because I was sober today I did my coursework, took the dog out, saved money and embarrassment, and I didn’t over eat so much food that I felt disgusted with myself. Xx

  18. Because I was sober today I was able to wake up fresh at 4.30am and get to a Pilates Reformer class at 5am. Be home by 6am and walk dogs with hubby, grab a coffee and be home ready to start the day. This time last year I was not in a good place.

  19. Because I was sober today I had my granddaughters sleep over and watch one them wiggle her first tooth out and watched her smile so big and proud that she did it and was able to help the tooth fairy show up

  20. Because I was sober today, I was up and busy most of the day. Had a nice visit with two of my children and helped my husband .. I had a clear mind and not the usual headache . Nice day indeed

    1. Exactly and doesn’t that make such a huge difference to our mood and energy? It opens up all sorts of possibilities too when we can concentrate on the important things in life, instead of being blurry and clouded by the after effects of alcohol.

  21. Because I was sober today – I can’t sleep! Is this a normal side effect of giving up alcohol? I have 2 glasses of wine a night religiously and decided I needed to kick the habit.

    1. When we have relied on alcohol for some time to help us drift off, it can take a little while for normal sleep patterns to resume. But rest assured, they will in time. Alcohol disturbs our quality of sleep, so removing it is a good idea.

  22. Because I was sober yesterday, although I woke up in the early hours this morning worrying about how I was going to be able to care for my elderly mum who lives 2 hours away, not that my father recently passed away, I didn’t catastrophise it and I managed to get back to sleep knowing my head would be clear to carry on sorting it all out in the morning.

  23. I am 105 days sober today and am so grateful I have my self respect back and the loving support of my wonderful husband, family and friends who stuck with me through the dark times.
    Love reading theses comments as feel you all understand the achievement of getting to the elusive 100 days. Thanks so much xx

  24. No guilt! What a great feeling! After a few attempts
    to quit this time seems to be the one…Days 183. Have the help of medication

    1. Self respect is very powerful, don’t underestimate that. Our thoughts affect our feelings, so having good thoughts are incredibly helpful to our overall wellbeing.

  25. Because I woke up sober today I remind myself that my organs: liver, brain, kidneys, gut, et al, although almost 70 yrs old, are probably in the best shape they can be since I was 18 or so, because they are not having to constantly deal with alcohol poison coursing through them.

    1. Absolutely, ethanol (to give it the correct name) does not belong in the human body! It is a toxic, addictive substance that our body works really hard to expel immediately. It’s the truth and we all kind of know it, but are in denial a lot of the time. Go you Jill being in the best shape since 18 years old – that’s awesome!

  26. Because l was sober today l was able to put a bag of rubbish from my bedroom in the household bin without trying to bury the glass bottles between tissues. No drinking, no clunking, no hiding for 16 days now. Can not wait to start your course.

  27. Because I was sober today…(day 373) I know I won’t wake up in the middle of the night hating myself for causing the restless mind racing by drinking.

    1. Congratulations Sherri – 373 sober days is brilliant! It’s amazing how much calmer our mind becomes when we remove just one thing isn’t it?

  28. Because I am sober, I am present in life. I wake up knowing what I said and did the day before. My mind is clear to enjoy sunrises and sunsets. Your course changed my life in 2019 and you continue to inspire me with all of these supportive videos. I am thankful for Kate Bee

  29. I enjoyed Thanksgiving — everyone 100% alcohol free — with my family and cooking, enjoyed conversation and time with grandkids. It was a lovely day! I’ve been thinking about the gratitude jar exercise and contributing to it. It feels like so much good stuff is coming in with expressions of gratitude. Thanks, Kate for this amazing course and your support! Super grateful for you!

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