I was at an event recently where one of the speakers said something that I’ve been thinking about ever since.
She said, “If you choose the easy path, life will end up being hard for you. If you choose the hard path, life will wind up easy.”
I can’t stop thinking about how perfectly this sums up the choice to drink, or not.
Drinking seems like the easy choice when you’re pouring that first glass, but it’s actually the hard, tough choice.
If you’re feeling tempted to drink tonight, watch this first:
Drinking is the hard, difficult choice
Cracking open a bottle might seem easy in the moment, but feeling hungover is also hard. Feeling disappointed in yourself is hard. Letting other people down is hard. Not being able to participate in your life fully is hard. Never having the energy or headspace to change your life? Well, that’s also hard.
Sobriety gets a bad rap
Culturally we have this story about sobriety being very hard indeed. (Just consider how many people get sponsored to stop for a month!) The truth is that sobriety is hard in the beginning. It does require work to do something different, change a pattern, let a craving pass, figure out another way to meet your needs. All of that requires effort, of course. But it’s not like that forever.
A sober life is an easy life
When I look back on my drinking days, I can see now how hard I made things for myself! I don’t think I’m cut out for that anymore. Kudos to you if you are drinking and still keeping life going and your head above water – that takes some work. If you can figure out how to do that, you can absolutely figure out how to quit.
Next time you’re tempted to drink…
Ask yourself: “Do I want this hard glass of wine?” Or the hard 24 hours that begin as soon as you open the bottle? Are you really up for that? We have to break this association between wine and self-care, wine and looking after yourself. Drinking is the hard, painful choice.
Focus on this instead:
Why is sobriety the easy choice? Start writing a list of reasons. The chances are, you spend a lot of time thinking about why alcohol-free living is hard, but not much time talking up the other side of this and telling that story. Scroll down and let me know in the comments – why is alcohol-free living the EASY choice in the long term? Let’s get a great list going here!
Ready to create an alcohol-free life you love? Click here to learn more about my Getting Unstuck course.
19 responses
Having spent the past 1490 days alcohol free thanks to your course, I can attest that AF living is SO MUCH EASIER! The freedom from worrying about all the many, many negative side effects of drinking is priceless. I am still in touch with many other graduates on a regular basis, and we ALL say “We’re so grateful that we found Kate Bee!” I promise anyone reading this that your future self will be better off for taking Kate’s course. Do it!
Congratulations on 1490 days of alcohol freedom! That’s an awesome number and an achievement to be immensely proud of. Thanks so much for being part of The Sober School community and for taking the time to inspire others with your story. ❤️
My life would be easier without alcohol because:
My thoughts and focus would be clearer
I wouldn’t feel sluggish in the morning and/or all day
I would remember details of conversations and have more patience
I would drop a couple of pounds and lose the bloat
Maybe have nicer skin
I could spend my time on more meaningful things
Those are excellent reasons and so many people find these are the benefits that make the biggest difference. Clearer thinking, more energy, better patience, improved wellbeing and having more time for what truly matters can make day-to-day life feel so much lighter. Thank you for sharing such an honest and inspiring list. 🙂
Thank you Kate for the wonderful comparisons of AF Living vs. AW(whatever results). I can attest that in my thus far blessed & healthy life, alcohol was the only “event” that required constant reconnaissance. 1. Preparation by getting the wine/etc. 2. hideout availabilities within/without house 3. hiding drinking from others (includes work/friends/family) 4. Cleanup & stashing of used bottles 5. Trudging with used stuff to recycle (or, as here on the other side of the Pond) hiding bottles in extra plastic grocery bags for big garbage 6. Repair makeup 7. Afterwards, repair skin, double brush teeth to remove extra sugar … and we all know the rest of tale. Now, think of this everyday, week after week, and one sees how “EASY” it is. (Prof. class every morning @ 10:00. Croak. ) Thanks be for The Sober School and its real world.
❤️
Just this evening after one month alcohol free I watched the most beautiful sunset and thought how lucky I am. I have more time and energy and I am finding joy again in everyday situations. Feeling at a deeper level and looking forward to a healthier more fulfilling life. Depending on alcohol as a coping mechanism has been very hard work on so many levels. I am so grateful that I have found an easier path with the Sober School. I know its early days but I know I have left alcohol behind. I want to develop healthier coping strategies to handle difficult life situations that are, after all, part of being human.
Love these thoughts Maggie; we are the lucky ones!
Definitely easier sober.
I would never have believed when I first started on this new way of life, April 26 GU Course, that it would in fact be easier. No more counting units, using unit measurers, deciding when to drink, how much to drink, analysing my results after a week, going over the safe recommended daily limit, trying to do better the next week…I was endlessly beating myself up and trying to do better. Also I hated myself in social situations where I would just drink as if it was going out of fashion, everyone was drinking so who cares. Now, I have none of that and the only decision I have to make is…which yummy AF drink will I choose today! Life is SO much easier and I can concentrate on the things that do matter. Thank you Sober School.
Hey Linda, it’s wonderful to hear how much mental space has been freed up for the things that truly matter. And yes, choosing an AF drink is a much more enjoyable decision! Congratulations on all the progress you’ve made since the Getting Unstuck course. 🙂
I have only drunk 8 times this year and these are all the things I love about not drinking:
– Not being able to only have just one. As soon as I have one, I want more.
– Sleeping badly. Waking in the night and not feeling rested the next day.
– I always ate badly the day after drinking and that has stopped now.
– No headaches.
– No hangovers.
– No alcohol related anxiety.
– Not being grumpy with my family because I am hungover.
– Being able to get up early on the weekend and run with friends and not worry if I’ll be hungover.
– Being able to make plans for the weekend and not having to plan in a hangover.
Thank you for your videos Kate – they are brilliant.
Your list of not drinking reasons is impressive, thanks for sharing. I’d love to help you turn this into a lasting way of life by taking a test drive of sobriety through my Getting Unstuck course. It’s a chance to see what life without alcohol could really feel like, with plenty of support along the way – here are all the details. https://thesoberschool.com/course/
Doing these early days being AF again, it’s reminded me of how much time and energy you can spend thinking about drinking, not drinking, what to drink, when, when to stop, how to hide it……it’s exhausting and takes up so much mental energy. That’s what I’m looking forward to – that time when there is no decision to make.
Absolutely Karin. It’s exhausting how much time and mental energy alcohol takes up. One of the greatest freedoms of an alcohol-free life is reaching that point where there’s no longer a decision to make. You have so much more headspace for the things that really matter.
This is so true Kate. After getting unstuck with you and being AF for over 500 days I returned to the “hard way” . I am now at 70 days AF and completely committed to remaining AF for life. It’s definitely the easier choice with the odd moment of discomfort rather than the harder choice with odd moments of comfort!
Thank you for getting me started in 2022. I will always be grateful.
I’m so pleased you’ve found your way back Cheryl, and that our work together helped you get started back in 2022.
As soon as I start drinking I have to prepare for tomorrow. I don’t even relax I just think I need to drink water, take headache tablets etc you are so right it’s easier to stay AF and not have all of that energy wasted on thinking how to repair what I am doing.
Hi Maggie, You’re so right. It’s exhausting to spend so much energy thinking about drinking and then recovering from it. Life feels so much easier when you’re not having to repair the damage. I know it can be a lonely journey when you’re doing this on your own. If you need any more support, my online coaching programme would be a great fit for you. Here are some more details: https://thesoberschool.com/course/