We’re a month into the New Year. If you set a goal to quit drinking or take a break from booze… how’s it going?
I know many people began 2024 feeling fired up and motivated, but January is a long old month 🥶
If you’re struggling with your motivation now the “New year, new me!” enthusiasm has faded, I can help.
In today’s video, I’m talking all about how to take action when you feel like giving up and the one key question you must ask yourself…
I used to think motivation was something that just happened to me. I either had it or I didn’t – I thought it came and went like the weather. But here’s the truth: our thoughts create our feelings. If you’re feeling unmotivated it’s probably because you’re having some thoughts like, “This is too hard.” Or, “It’s not worth it. It won’t work. I’m too tired.”
Your first step is to get curious about what you’re thinking. What are the stories you’re telling yourself right now? If we had to pin it down to one or two thoughts that you keep repeating, what would they be? It might be: “I’ve got so much on my plate right now. I don’t have time for this.” Or, “I deserve a drink.” Or, “I just don’t want to limit myself anymore.”
Bring in some compassion
I suspect part of you wants to shout, “Come on! Just get on with it! Stop being such a baby!” But this approach rarely works in the long term. Step two is to acknowledge your feelings and show yourself some compassion instead. For example: “Yeah, of course I don’t want to change. Of course I’m going to think it’s hard to do something different, us humans love our routines and I’m not used to this yet. It makes sense that I’m finding this hard.”
Answer this question
Step three is to answer this key question: “What else is also true?” So if you think that working on your sobriety is tiring, what else is also true? Well – it’s also true that worrying about your drinking all the time is tiring too. Recovering from the side effects of drinking is also tiring. Having to manage your drinking habit, buy your supplies, hide them, dispose of them and deal with the guilt? That’s tiring as well.
The other side of the story
So often we slip into this black and white, all or nothing thinking, as if the thought that popped into your head is the only version of the truth that exists. But it’s not game over yet! By asking the question, “What else is also true?” you get to practise telling the other side of the story and redirecting your focus to more helpful thoughts.