Sometimes it couldn’t be clearer. You wake up in the morning knowing your drinking has to change and you must do something about it.

But then there are those times when you drink and everything works out fine. You don’t overdrink and nothing bad happens.

This used to confuse me so much. “I must have been overreacting before!” I’d tell myself. “Everything is fine!”

So I’d drink again… only this time, things wouldn’t be fine and I’d be left scratching my head, wondering why. 

If you can relate, let’s talk about why your drinking might be different at different times – and what to do about it…

Key points

First, remember what we’re dealing with here

Alcohol is an addictive, mind-altering drug that’s glamorised and romanticised. It’s marketed to us as a treat, a coping mechanism and something that delivers good times. Given the addictive nature of this drug and the way it’s positioned in our culture, can you see how the stage is set from the start for us to overdrink and become reliant on it? That’s not a personal failing or character flaw – that’s just the way things are.

Why your drinking sometimes feels “fine”

If you need to make a good impression on others – or perhaps you’re networking, focused on the conversation or trying to remember names – you might slow your drinking down to stay sharp. If you’re with friends who don’t drink, you might naturally match their pace in a bid to fit in, because in the moment that feels more important than drinking as much as you’d like. 

Another time your drinking might seem more “normal” is if you’re interrupted halfway through, or you’re eating at the same time, or having a drink after a significant break. Time off from drinking lowers your tolerance, so you won’t need as much to feel the effects. You might then be able to stop at one and feel satisfied, which gives the illusion of control. But the next time you drink, you’ll need a bit more. And then a bit more… 

Examine what happens MOST of the time

If you’re trying to decide whether you need to take a break from drinking, the key is to stand back and look at the bigger picture. If I’d done this sooner, I’d have noticed that more often than not, I was unhappy with my drinking. Those occasions when my drinking felt “fine” and nothing bad happened were fairly rare, to be honest. It’s just that I was great at laser focusing on those rare times!

I ignored the fact that the majority of my drinking happened at home, alone, and in that environment I really struggled to stop. I always had more than I planned. So please don’t make my mistake. Don’t fall into the trap of fixating on that random Wednesday in September when you were with so-and-so and had just one glass. Make sure you’re taking in the bigger picture, not just the exceptions. Track this if you need to.  

What if the “worst option” brings you everything you want?

I know that complete sobriety might sound restrictive and unappealing right now. But what if it’s actually lighter and easier than constantly thinking about your drinking and battling with yourself over how much to drink? I’ve been sober for a long time now and I have so much more peace and freedom than I ever had as a drinker. I love the fact that alcohol doesn’t dominate my headspace – I don’t even think about it anymore.

I care so little about the contents of my glass that these days I’ll often go out and just have water. I don’t even order a mocktail. It’s just not a big deal. And it’s that lightness, that “this isn’t a big deal” energy – that I so desperately wanted to have with alcohol. But it never worked out that way. There just came a point where I realised the route to peace and freedom – for me – was taking alcohol out of the picture completely. I wonder if that might be the path for you too.

Ready to take a break from drinking that feels great? Click here to learn more about my Getting Unstuck course.