The chances are that if you’re a big drinker, then your friends are too.
We tend to surround ourselves with people who are just like us. But what do you do when you want to change… and the people around you don’t? If you feel nobody understands why you’re trying to stop, then this post is for you.
Here’s how to stay sober – and motivated – when all your friends drink:
Be prepared to say no.
If you think that going out for your regular Friday night drinks might be your undoing, then don’t go. People won’t be offended for long – and it won’t always be like this. In the early days, when you’re trying to build some sober momentum, sometimes you have to turn things down. This doesn’t mean you need to sit at home feeling lonely. You can be proactive and organise something you want to do, like going out for lunch or a trip to the cinema. If you do decide to go to the pub, think about what you’ll say if someone offers you a drink. Remember: you’re in control. This is your decision.
When you’re tempted to drink, ask yourself why.
Alcohol has become so integrated into our daily lives that it’s hard to think of an occasion where booze can’t be justified. We drink when we’re happy and when we’re sad. We drink because it’s Friday or payday or someone’s birthday or just because the weather’s nice. Whatever the reason, most of us are in the habit of using alcohol as a shortcut to feeling another way. So rather than just trying to stop yourself drinking, try and figure out why you want to drink. What is it you’re really feeling? Are you angry, sad, lonely, stressed? Is there another way you can manage your emotions? Do you really want to drink or are you turning to it out of habit?
List your reasons.
Sometimes, when you’re caught off guard or you’re being pressured to drink, it can be hard to remember why on earth you’re doing this. So make a list. Keep it in your purse, on your phone – somewhere you can access it easily. Only you know why you’re trying to stop drinking. Don’t let yourself be derailed by a friend who only knows half the story.
Get some perspective.
We live in a very boozy world. So many people are convinced that alcohol is sexy, glamorous and sophisticated; everything you need if you want to express yourself and live life to the full. That’s total nonsense, of course. Being sober does not mean you have to spend the rest of your days living like a nun, drinking cocoa and going to bed early (unless you want to, that is). If you look carefully, you’ll see there are loads of people out there leading full and happy lives without alcohol. Just look at Eva Mendes, Kristin Davis, Jennifer Lopez, Davina McCall, Bradley Cooper or Gerard Butler. They’re all sober. And are they boring? No!
I’d love to know…
How, specifically, have you handled people who were uncomfortable with your sobriety? What worked and what didn’t? Please share your ideas and stories below.