Imagine meeting someone and instantly deciding that you want to spend the rest of your lives together…
It doesn’t really happen, does it? (Apart from in the movies.) But that’s what so many women try to do with sobriety.
One day they’re in a long-term relationship with alcohol and the next they’re trying to convince themselves that they’re never, ever drinking again!
And guess what? That tends to feel pretty overwhelming.
In today’s blog, I explain what to do instead…
Are you doing this too?
People often say to me, “I want to quit drinking Kate, but I just can’t imagine never, ever drinking again, so I’m not sure it’s the right time.” Or sometimes I work with clients who say, “I’m really enjoying alcohol-free living, I’m two weeks into this now, but I still can’t picture being sober forever yet. Is that normal?”
It’s totally normal! When you think about most real-life relationships, they take time, right? It’s rare that people want to get married after the first date – you want to date and get to know each other first. It’s the same with alcohol-free living. You don’t need to commit to forever just yet.
A date with uncertainty
Your brain hates being out of its comfort zone and not knowing how things are going to turn out. It’s also wired to be slightly negative and to look out for risks. So it makes sense that your brain is going to zoom off into the future and have a lot of questions about all kinds of imaginary scenarios!
The fact is, if you’re on Day 1 right now, you don’t know how you’re going to feel by Day 50 or Day 100. If you’re six weeks sober today because you quit at New Year, that’s great – and I bet there are things you can do now that you didn’t think you’d be able to do at the start of this year. See how fast things change?
Here’s what I recommend
Stop worrying about the F word. (Forever!) Just commit to taking a proper break from drinking instead. Go all in and give it a proper shot for at least six weeks, but ideally 90 or 100 days. Fully commit to staying sober during that time, no matter what.
That way you can experience alcohol-free living properly and get to the good bit. Those first few weeks are hard and you don’t want to form any opinions based on those early days. But don’t go trying to marry alcohol-free living before you’ve even been out on a few dates!