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“After the death of my son, the bottle would be opened every night. I didn’t know how to cope in any other way.”
After the death of her 9 year old son, Su drank every day to try and numb out her grief. But in 2020, she began to fear her drinking was damaging her relationship with her other son. She joined the Getting Unstuck course in October that year and has been alcohol-free ever since.
Ben was nine – cheeky, funny, always smiling and absolutely gorgeous. He had a little seizure at home and was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour.
In 2012, after he passed away, the wheels fell off. When Luke (my eldest) went to bed, that’s when the bottle would be opened and the numbing began.
By 2017, Luke was five years older, and a lot more aware of our drinking. We were asleep on the sofa and he would be trying to wake us up because the TV was still on and it was disturbing him.
Those things start to mount up in your head and I realised it was an issue. I started the googling process of how do I stop drinking? How do I get help? And the thought of AA was not of any interest to me.
In 2020 we drank more and more outside in the sun, during the lockdowns. I can just remember this one particular day going into the kitchen to start prepping for dinner. It must have been about three o’clock and I just automatically poured myself a glass of wine. I looked at it and thought, “What am I doing?” It was at that point I thought, “I’m going to join Kate’s course.”
Luke is one of my reasons for doing this because I’m 52 now. At some point, hopefully, I’m going to become a grandma. I want to be able to look after his kids.
There are lots of things I love about alcohol-free living. The socialising side of it is probably the biggest because who wouldn’t love having a great night out, being able to remember it all, no dramas and being able to drive home?
My other favourite part of the day is the mornings. I love getting up early. I will just sit downstairs, the house is nice and quiet, the dog will be at my feet and I’ll be sat having my coffee, just planning my day and I just love it. I would never in a million years have imagined that I would enjoy getting up at sort of half five, six o’clock in the morning but I do.