Ever heard of “sober firsts”? They’re those moments when you stay sober in situations where you’d normally drink.
It might be your first alcohol-free Friday night or your first weekend away without wine. There are a lot of them in early sobriety.
Just when you think you’ve got all your sober firsts figured out, here comes the festive season with work parties, family gatherings and a ton of other stuff to tackle!
If you’re feeling apprehensive about that, don’t worry. Today’s video is a pep talk to help you through it all.
Key points:
It’s OK if sober firsts are awkward
You’re breaking a pattern and stepping outside your comfort zone – it’s bound to feel a bit uncomfortable and awkward. We experience this the first time we do anything new. There’s going to be an adjustment period – and that’s completely normal.
Don’t make up stories too soon!
One sober experience isn’t enough data to draw conclusions from. So if you go to one party sober and find it awkward, that’s not proof that all sober parties will be boring forever. You cannot say that. You need to get your reps in and allow yourself to collect a few more experiences first. That way, you also give yourself time to get comfortable with the new normal.
Brace yourself for more sober firsts
If you’ve just recently stopped drinking, you’ve got a lot of sober firsts coming your way as we head into the holiday season. From your first sober work party to your first Christmas and all those little traditions you normally do with a drink in hand.
Here’s the thing to remember: you can either face the temporary discomfort of doing something new (whilst knowing it’s going to get better and easier) or you can choose the lasting discomfort of breaking your promise to yourself and returning to a way of life that wasn’t serving you. I know which one I’d choose.
Need some help to protect your sobriety?
If you’ve already stopped drinking but you’re feeling worried about how to stay sober during the coming weeks, I can help. I have a free training available for women who’ve been sober for a while already and just need some support to finish the year sober too. Click here for all the details.
13 responses
I’m looking forward to the webinar tomorrow as I have been a bit worried about the Christmas period. I’m able concentrate on the positives though, such as being able to drive around instead of expensive taxis, not being dysfunctional, tired and anxious in the mornings, actually being up and about on Boxing Day! Stuff like that actually makes me feel a bit excited about a healthier, happier, more energetic Christmas.
I have much to share Tracy, so you can begin to genuinely look forward to a sober festive season. 🙂
I think I’m going to be ok over the Christmas period as I too will be focusing on the positives! I’m probably thinking too far ahead but trying to imagine what a few days away with friends will be like next year which undoubtedly will revolve around alcohol!
Getting through a sober festive season will set you up for positive action when you go away with friends. The longer your sober streak, the more precious it becomes and you will want to protect it.
Really looking forward to tomorrow. My first sober first coming up this Friday as been avoiding until now. I am worried about Christmas and need help how to best get through it.
I’ve got you covered in the webinar Angela to help you thrive through the party season and finish the year strong! Many of the tips will also be beneficial for your first Friday’s sober first too.
Hi I am 10 weeks sober .over the last 4 weeks my mum as been bed ridden at home And I have had up to three phone calls in the middle of the night to attend to her needs. Been sober I have been able to drive myself to mums .And to be there the next day for her without feeling hung over have more energy and patience’s .This was a big reward for me. Mum sadly passed away on the 31/10.I still have not had a drink as yet. I feel now that mum helped me towards this coal.
It’s truly heartwarming that you were fully present for your Mum in her final days, providing comfort in knowing you did all you could for her. Navigating grief is never simple, but you can process your emotions with self-compassion and continue to honour your mother’s memory. Wishing you love and peace during this sad time. ❤️
Looking forward to seeing your course.
My first sober christmas in 48 years!!! Bring ot on. I am doing OK and have great close support but my wider friends are all pretty dyed in the wool drinkers and I am dreading get togethers. First one December 1st!!! Looking forward to your help Kate, it’s great to know there are others out there like me xxx
You’ll get so much out of the webinar Linda, it’s the perfect fit for your situation. I can’t wait to show you how to ‘thrive’ in the holiday season! 🙂
December is usually a drinking month for me. Besides Christmas, my birthday is 5 days before. I’ve been 4 weeks sober now and worried about Thanksgiving. Looking forward to the seminar! Thanks, Kate
Four weeks is an excellent start Marcia. Allow me to guide you in maintaining this path towards a joyful and healthy December and New Year.❤️