Dry January is nearly over and, for many, the 1st of February – this Saturday – marks the return of “normal” drinking routines.
My social media is full of people excitedly planning a “Wet February” and celebrating “getting back to normal.”
But what about you? If you’re reading this, I’m guessing you feel differently.
Maybe you’re conflicted, unsure what to do next, or even a little curious about what staying alcohol free might look like.
I’ve got three questions to help you decide on your next steps…
Key points:
What have you loved about being alcohol free this month?
Let’s start with the positives and look at the benefits. What have you enjoyed or even loved? Maybe it’s been the energy you’ve gained, the clearer skin, the deeper sleep or the simple satisfaction of proving to yourself that you can do it.
Another approach is to ask yourself this: “What was my best memory this month?” Perhaps you enjoyed being more present with your kids or grandkids, better sleep or a moment of clarity you wouldn’t have had otherwise. Write these things down. It’s easy to let your brain focus on the one thing that’s been absent, but this exercise shifts your attention to all you’ve gained.
Why do you want to drink again?
Be honest. Why are you considering a return to alcohol? Dig into your reasons and write them down. Don’t let vague, swirling thoughts stay in your head – give them clarity by putting pen to paper. Once your reasons are written down, you’re in a better position to evaluate them.
Is it because you think life is more fun with alcohol? Or maybe you’re worried about how friends might perceive you without a drink in hand. Perhaps you think you’re a bit boring when sober or that alcohol is your only way to relax. Whatever it is, get specific.
Have you challenged your reasons for going back to drinking?
This is where the real work begins. Have you questioned your thinking here – or are you accepting your thoughts as fact? For example, maybe you’ve convinced yourself that your partner would prefer you to drink again. But is that true? Have you actually asked them? And do you typically do everything your partner wants you to do?!
Remember: your brain doesn’t like change. It prefers the comfort of old habits, even when they’re harmful. It doesn’t like uncertainty either and it’s exceptionally good at crafting big, sweeping stories to explain things.
If these questions feel challenging, I get it – it can be hard to see your life in a different way, especially when you’re in the thick of it. That’s why getting support can make such a difference. This is exactly the kind of work we do inside my Getting Unstuck coaching programme.
Your next steps…
Download the Dry January Debrief below. It’ll help you process what’s happened this month and will be a great support if you’re grappling with questions like, “If I can stop for a month, does that mean my drinking is fine?” or “Why didn’t I make it through the whole month?”
Then let me know in the comments: what’s coming up for you? How has your Dry January gone and what are your plans for February?
14 responses
I am IN IT to WIN IT!!!
Hi Kate, after doing 90 days alcohol free I had a drink on Christmas Day – just one. Then a couple of days later I had two and a couple of days after that I had three! I then went on to drink every night of my holiday and have had a drink on and off since returning. So, Dry January wasn’t my starting point at all. I have every intention of not having a drink during February but really it’s about not looking too far into the future for me. I really appreciate your inspiration and sound advice, which will be needed in the coming weeks. I’m no where near a heavy drinker but just want to be a fully committed member of the sober club
The Dry January debrief questions will be really important for you to reflect on Joanne, especially “what have you loved about being alcohol-free” during your sober streak. Alcohol is always the drink of more and after having one, you need two next time, then three and so on and the slide back down into the pitcher plant begins.
My ‘Getting Unstuck’ course delves deeper into the reasons why we keep getting pulled back to drinking and staying stuck. Please take a look: https://thesoberschool.com/course/
Joanne, the course “Getting Unstuck” was an investment to educate myself at first. Boy, I always knew alcohol was not healthy, but it didn’t seem to sink in until I gave the course a try. It was what I needed and perfect timing (cutting out alcohol at any time is a perfect time). You got a solid 90 days in! So amazing.
Something that helps me, even to this day, is when Kate mentioned, “Play the movie ahead… what do you want the ending to be?” When I feel like pouring the vino, I remember the ‘movie’ and I don’t want to have what I already know will be a bummer of an ending…
I definitely works for me! Keep going and best wishes! You can do this!
Lisa
I deliberately planned a Sober Six Weeks so as to avoid the mental image than once January was over, so was the “project”. I am a work in progress and although my aim is to reduce and manage my alcohol intake rather than eliminate it completely forever, my work is not yet done and the new habits need time to bed in. Thoroughly enjoying how I feel physically, mentally and emotionally. It’s wonderful.
Good for you Jennifer, six weeks gives you more time to experience the benefits of alcohol-free living and really give it a decent test drive. After all, we give drinking many, many chances, so sobriety deserves the same attention. 🙂
Thank you Kate, I completely agree. You discover so much more about sobriety the longer you maintain it. Thank you for all your inspo!! So glad I found you.
So I never told myself quitting alcohol was only for the month of January. I have wanted to quit for ever for quite a while. Bring 100% alcohol free is awesome! I sleep better, I feel better especially upon waking, and I’ve lost about 5 pounds – all win-win for me. No question, my sober journey is continuing in February. But I have learned it’s one day at a time victories and a mindset change. I have to do the mindset work every day, because my spouse is not on board and there’s always the opportunity to have a drink if I want. That’s it…it’s been a great month and Sober School posts have really helped me beyond words! Thanks Kate!
You’re very welcome! Staying connected to a sober community really helps when you don’t have support at home. Keep going Sherre, you’re doing great. 🙂
I stopped on Spet. 27/24 and still doing well without my wine. I have been dreaming that I had a drink and woke up upset; but quite relieved that it was only a dream. I have lost a bunch of weight, have way more energy and going to classes at the gym. My intention is this: No more wine or spirits bc I am unable to moderate and it just took up too much head space to keep juggling and counting beverages. I was alays a lover of wine but it got away from me when I got a divorce after 35 yrs. of marriage. I had some rough moments which i decided to numb my way through. I am now remarried and my wine habit did nothing to help me navigate a new romance. These past four months have been wonderful for me and for our marriage!
Four months – fabulous! I’m wishing you and your husband continued joy and freedom in sobriety; it truly is a lifestyle upgrade. ❤️
This is exactly what keeps me going – the weight, the energy – I too, did not have much luck moderating. Getting Unstuck Course – this valuable tool gave me the education I needed, and not the shaming. Amen that I finally got unstuck and kept the momentum going! Go for it, Kathy! There’s a better life out there with YOU in it!
Lisa
I’ve been sober now since 20th October and I am feeling good. I Better sleep, clearer skin, improved digestion, and I’ve stopped biting my nails..something I’ve done for 60 years . I’ve had 3 manicures since November. I’ve realised that my drinking was a habit.. I’ve replaced my daily glass es of wi ne with non alcoholic wine and even though non alcoholic wines dont taste great I am not really missing the alcohol … its the habit of opening a bottle and sipping . I don’t intend to drink in Feb or in the future but I’m taking it 1 month at a time. Thanks Kate for your excellent programme before Xmas. It really helped
That’s great to hear Helen, congratulations! You put in the hard work and are now reaping the benefits. Sobriety is not about giving something up, it’s about taking everything back that you lost to alcohol. 🙂