“Do you fancy a glass of wine or shall we get a bottle?”
Picture the scene – you’ve decided to stop drinking. Maybe you’ve quit for good… or perhaps you’re experimenting with a break from booze.
Either way, you haven’t exactly broadcast the news.
So what do you say to friends / relatives / work colleagues who assume you’re still drinking?
I think there are two things you must do, for an easy life.
I explain all in this video:
Remember: you’re awesome
If you can figure out how to not drink at home, behind closed doors, then you sure as hell can figure out how to say no to a glass of wine in a bar. Don’t let your brain tell you a story that this is unmanageable or you can’t handle this.
Be positive about your sobriety
Don’t apologise or say you’re “trying to be good” – that allows others to try and convince you otherwise. Make your life easier by saying, “I’m really enjoying this break, I’ve not felt this good in ages, I’m not even missing wine…” You can fake that enthusiasm if you need to!
Follow up with a clear request
Being specific about what you want ensures you get a glass of something nice. It also gives the person offering you a drink some clear instructions. People hate feeling like they’re being a bad host or as if they’re doing the wrong thing.
Admit that you’re taking a break
There’s nothing wrong with using excuses like “I’m driving” or “I’m on antibiotics” – I’ve used them all myself in the past. But the problem with that kind of response is that you keep yourself in a stressful holding pattern. The next time you go out, you’ll be offered a glass of wine again.
Trying to disguise your break means you never get the opportunity to be honest and really own what you’re doing. You don’t get to discover just how accepting and supportive other people can be.
If you’d like some help and support to quit drinking, click here for details of my online course.