“Enough! I’m fed up. I’m done with this. I’m tired of trying not to drink. I’m just going to give up on sobriety!”
Does this sound at all familiar? I’ve been there myself, so I know exactly what it feels like.
But just before you slam that sober door shut and ignore any further communication from me 
there are three things you must consider first.
Today’s video has all the details!
Key points:
Why it can feel good to give up on sobriety
You get instant relief from the effort of trying, plus you get a break from the doubts and scariness of doing something new. You avoid the hardness of trying something different and you get the comfort of being back in your comfort zone instead. For a few moments, it feels great!
But here’s the catch…
You only feel that relief for an incredibly short amount of time. After a few days – or maybe just a few hours – the other thoughts that prompted you to stop in the first place will come flooding back. So the relief you get from deciding you’re going to give up on sobriety is always very short lived.
Choosing short-term discomfort
Are you willing to choose short-term discomfort for long-term gains? I know you already do this elsewhere in life and this is what early sobriety is about too. You’re choosing the short-term discomfort of sitting with an urge to drink, but in return you will get long-term comfort, well being and satisfaction in your life.
It won’t be this hard forever, I promise
In other areas of life, you’re willing to choose short-term discomfort without really thinking about it e.g. pushing yourself for an exam, a race, a promotion etc. Why do you do that? Because you know it’s a passing phase. You know the discomfort isn’t permanent. This is true with sobriety too. The hard work is at the beginning, I promise.
Get excited about alcohol-free living!
When you push yourself to reach other goals, you tend to be motivated by a clear idea of what it will be like once you get there. Have you got that same enthusiasm about sobriety? Are you motivating yourself with the same drive? If not, go out and give your brain something useful to focus on. Seek out people who’ve already quit (for example, these inspiring Sober School graduates here).
17 responses
Really helpful and thought provoking Blog. It’s helpful to remember that it’s worth sitting with some short term discomfort for a bigger gain in the long term. Thanks Kate
It really is Bernadette and you can hear some of my students tell you how great alcohol-free living can be when you push through the early discomfort to get to the good bit! https://thesoberschool.com/success-stories/
Kate, thank you for all you have done for me. I haven’t drunk anything for a long time–thanks to you and your continued assurances that you post from time to time. Yes, I still watch your videos. Not so much because I need the encouragement; You have already done that for me. I just like to hear your sweet, kind messages. You are such a god-send, and I thought you should know. The defining moment for me came when you caused me to really figure out why I drank so much. I actually did not know, but when I answered that question for myself, I thought, well that’s not a very good reason for all this discord that drinking alcohol has created in my life. So, thank you, thank you, thank you. I will be forever grateful to you for what you have done for me and continue to do for us all.
Ah that’s such a lovely message to read Letitia.
I’m so pleased to have inspired you to question your reasons for drinking, but you put in the hard work and should be very proud of yourself. It’s my privilege to show women that there is an empowering and fun way to quit drinking here at The Sober School. https://thesoberschool.com/course/
Into my fourth year of sobriety and life without alcohol is just brilliant ! I’m so glad I did your Sober School course Kate – it’s changed my mindset and my life
Thank you
100% agree… thank you Kate you really are a lifeline
Amazing. Your soothing voice vibrates the message that is needed x
I have to echo Letitia’s praise of you, Kate! You are such an encouragement to me: the mostly successful but sometimes failure at alcohol free living. It truly is THE BEST, but also true that old long-ingrained habits die hard. This post SUPER motivated me today! Thank you for your life’s mission to help women like me!
You’re most welcome Sherre; alcohol-free living truly is a lifestyle upgrade and one that is worth the effort in the beginning to get the rewards for life.
Sometimes, I need to be reminded of my reasons for quitting and this blog helps to get to the point! It does get easier! Sometimes I look around at every one laughing, having a “good” time… what I like to remember is… I wonder how they will feel tomorrow morning!!! Then I feel better about my choices. As Kate would say, “play the movie forward”…. Thank you, Kate!!!
That’s a good strategy Lisa, drinking is always the harder choice because sobriety gets easier every day.
Almost 300 days alcohol free. Always good to revisit feelings and remind ourselves of the pain alcohol brought to the table brings. Thank you Kate, very inspirational ♥️
Hey, 300 days is amazing – not long to a whole year of upgraded living without the pain of alcohol.
I observed dry January this year and felt much better.
Unfortunately I have had some issues with anxiety in the last week or two. I am very busy at my job and not sleeping so well.
I really want to continue with my alcohol free journey.
Perhaps some of you have experience and could advise me how long it takes to really get to grips with anxiety which has always been a problem for me. Thanks Valerie
The link between alcohol and anxiety or depression is well referenced in research, along with poor sleep. Ditching alcohol is the single best thing you can do to ease both problems Valerie and here’s why: https://thesoberschool.com/wine-fix-your-anxiety/
Thank you, Kate. Now on Day 296 and my only regret is not becoming AF sooner. Occasionally get the Ooh a drink feeling… but it really is fleeting and I know it’s a short-term non-solution. It’s pretty automatic now for that thought to be followed by playing the movie to the end: bad sleep, disappointment, lack of calm. Thanks for your continued emails and tips, Kate. It’s really good to have the reminders and to read all the other Sober School graduates’ thoughts and experiences. Thanks, Kate! Thanks, TSS ladies!
Hi Georgy, It’s a real pleasure and fabulous to hear how well you are doing. Keep going!