At this time of year, I often hear from people who are worried they’re going to miss out if they stay sober on holiday.
They can’t imagine skipping cocktails by the pool or saying no to wine with their evening meal.
When you’re feeling this way, it’s so easy to talk yourself into giving up on your sober goals (or sticking them on the back burner for a while).
I want to help you reframe the fear of missing out and see things in a different light.
Key points
Decide what really matters before you go
Just think about this: when you get back home and people ask how your holiday went, are you going to give them a rundown of everything you had to drink? I doubt it. Instead you’ll talk about how much rest you got, what you saw, and what the area was like. That’s the stuff that really matters.
Drinking alcohol will jeopardise your ability to come back rested and having done the things you planned to. So… if you’ve not experienced a sober holiday before, isn’t it about time you tried one? Why not change the script this year and stop missing out on the kind of break you deserve?
Drop the idea that sober holidays = missing out
The truth is that everyone is missing out on something all of the time. It doesn’t matter whether they drink or not. It’s always helped me to remember that everyone is missing out on something – because it’s impossible to have a full or complete experience of anything.
When you go away somewhere new, every single day is full of decisions about what you do and don’t do. Will you sunbathe or sightsee? Stay put or explore the area? Which restaurant will you go to? What will you order? You can’t do it all. No one can!
Decide what you’re happy to skip
Once you really get your head around the idea that everyone is missing out on something, your focus can shift from “Am I going to miss out?” to “Ok, what is it I’m happy to miss out on?”
Personally, I’m really happy to miss out on hangovers while on holiday. I’m also happy to miss out on the obsession that comes with trying to control alcohol at a time when I want to be relaxing. I don’t want to come home needing another holiday to get over the first one!
Ready to create an alcohol-free life you love? Click here to learn more about my Getting Unstuck course.
10 responses
I’m on my 2nd Great Adventure in the UK again. Absolutely no one has commented on the fact I don’t drink. It saves me so much time to focus on what I’m doing for my next foray into the vast unknown territory of say, Devon or Shropshire!
And the money I save by not drinking is going towards my adventures (well, diesel mainly, but it means I can go further).
I once went on an all-singing, all-dancing, drink-as-much-as-you-like (of very insipid watered-down beer – I don’t even like beer!) package holiday and I can’t say the memories are all that joyful. Not least because of drunken brawls and sexual assault, but because the focus was on booze, crap food and sitting around a crowded pool or beach. No sightseeing, no culture – we could have been anywhere on the planet that was slightly warmer than Britain for all the experiences we didn’t have.
Now, there’s no thinking about what to drink or how much, how early can I start drinking, and no defending my choices.
I really don’t think people who care about me judge me for not drinking, whereas previously I felt I was always having to hide or risk being judged for my drinking.
As Kate suggested – play the movie forward to decide which ending you’d prefer for the holiday!
Thanks to Kate, being sober is one of the best decisions of my life!
What a joy to read this Anna! I’m so glad your adventures feel bigger, freer and more yours now. The way you describe the contrast between past holidays and what you’re experiencing today says everything – presence, curiosity, culture and genuine ease. It’s wonderful to hear how sobriety has opened the door to all of that and that you feel unjudged and fully yourself. Thank you for sharing such a hopeful reminder of what’s possible. ❤️
Bravo to Anna! I agree totally as we prepare for 10 days in Wells, UK. Sobriety opens the doors/windows to enjoying all the little things without the constant managing, arranging, manipulating, etc. of figuring out the “wine, or not” scene. After 3 years, I can say I honestly don’t miss the drama. Anna’s right … no one asks, or cares, who’s drinking or not! Only if someone acts weird, and I have noticed that is more likely to occur with drinking.
Watched the video.
Two words- thank you, I needed this!
Hi Kate, I recently went on a vacation in May and I did not drink first time. I was alcohol free and I enjoyed it clearly everything you said is so true I did go with two friends and one of them does drink and she kept trying to get me to drink with her and ever since we’ve been back from our vacation I don’t hear from her anymore.
Hi Evelyn, Alcohol free holidays are just the best aren’t they? I am sorry you’ve had this experience your friend. Those who truly care about you will adjust and support your choices.
We’re not going on any type of formal vacation (my husband ESRF and goes to dialysis 3 times a week). But…thanks to Kate’s Masterclass, I have been alcohol free for 32 days and that feels like a vacation to me. I go to actual sleep earlier and get up before the birds are even awake and putter around my garden before it gets too hot. I have a lot on my plate, but can now deal with it without the foggy head, which is essential. I was a bottle of wine a night drinker, and to wake up without a hangover and not just shuffle through my day feels like a permanent vacation. I know that I’m in just the baby stages of being alcohol free, but I continue to reread the wine o’clock tips and listen to Kate’s pep talk. I can’t thank you enough, Kate, for helping me with the opportunity to live my best life with the unknown time I have left with my husband.
Hi Diane, This is wonderful to read, congratulations on your 32 days of freedom from alcohol and living your best life. Waking up hangover free never gets old does it?
I forgot to add that I have also lost TEN POUNDS! And my face doesn’t have that haggard puffy look!
Wow! That is fantastic!