You’ve probably seen the headlines over the past week. Brad Pitt is drinking again, after seven years sober. And this time, he says he’s doing it “moderately”.
Cue a whole wave of reactions, with some people cheering him on… and others feeling worried, unsettled and even triggered by the whole thing.
I spent a few days going through everything he said about his sobriety in the past (he used to be pretty effusive about it) vs what he’s saying now…
The result is this video. I’ve got three questions for Brad Pitt (and an important one for you too).
Key points
None of us know what’s really going on for Brad Pitt
We only get glimpses into his life through interviews and headlines. That’s not the same as knowing the full story. Before we pick this apart, it’s worth remembering how little we actually know. Here’s what he says in Esquire magazine:
“I was sober for seven years. And then I got back off the wagon.” “[I am drinking] in a more restrained manner. I got overconfident a couple of times, went, Yep, nope, not good for me. Not in big quantities… I can have a few. But I can’t have a lot. I have to be professional about it.”
Question 1: How is moderation really going?
Based on the Esquire article alone, we can see this hasn’t been plain sailing. He admits to getting “overconfident” a few times already. This sounds like someone who has already had drinking episodes that were not moderate. Remember, we’re talking about an addictive, mind-altering drug here. It’s hard to exercise great control over these substances – and that’s not a character flaw or a criticism.
Question 2: How free and happy do you feel now, compared to before?
Brad Pitt is using words like “restrained” and “being professional” about his drinking. That sounds like someone who is putting a lot of effort and energy into managing this. We tend to have this perception that freedom and joy are found at the bottom of a bottle, but when I reflect on his words, I don’t hear much peace and freedom there.
When you cut down, rather than cut out, you keep the door open to alcohol. You make it very important in your world. The alcohol noise creeps up again: when are you going to drink? What will you have? When? Where? How much? The decision fatigue is real. None of that says freedom, ease or peace to me – whereas all that stuff has been abundant for me in sobriety. Life gets so easy once you stop giving this liquid drug superpowers.
Question 3: Why did you go back to drinking?
After years of saying sobriety made him happier, this is the big unanswered question. What changed? What did he think he was missing? I don’t know the answer, and I don’t think we ever will. I hope he talked this through with someone else first – it’s all too easy, when we’re on our own, to forget the pain we experienced through drinking. Personally, I’ve been sober for 13 years and I can’t see a reason to go back to drinking.
And now a question for you: Will Brad Pitt’s choices influence you?
You’ve got to do what’s right for you. At the end of the day, you are the expert in your life and your drinking. You’ve been there for all the ups and downs. We know very little about what’s really going on for Brad Pitt right now. But if we are looking at a tragedy here – and the slow unravelling of someone who’s gone back to something that’s caused them a lot of pain in the past – that is not someone you want to be following down that same path.
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25 responses
Hello all, I feel for where Brad probably is about now. As I recall, my drinking issues always revolved around the quickly obvious fact that alcohol is not bound by “professionalism” or “moderation.” The negative behaviors always outnumbered the positives – and I knew it even if I would not admit verbally! For me, the physical hecticness of manoeuvers and mental exhaustion from all that shuffling around, then to know one behaved idiotically/dangerously/interfering with beloved activities. .. well no trade off for me! I love the AF life! Thank you for letting me share, Kate. I wish somehow your wisdom floats onto poor Brad.
You’re welcome Cynthia, let’s hope so!
Luckily this whole Brad Pitt “relapse” has passed me by but what I find interesting is the fact that others may be influenced by his actions. We’re all individuals with alcohol problems & don’t need celebrity “permission “ as we’re all responsible for our own demons. I hope he can continue to drink in moderation but we all fight our own battle.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, you make a good point about being individually responsible for our own actions.
I await the headlines to come when he doesn’t manage to be ‘professional’ with his drinking. I just hope for his sake the crash isn’t spectacular
Thank you…you are a much needed and thoughtful voice.
❤️
Thank you for addressing this issue. It has caused a lot of discussion. People feeling better or worse. I immediately worried about him. Which is funny. He’s Brad Pitt. He doesn’t sound confident but depressed and searching. Sad. It won’t end well.
Sadly I see this pattern over and over again and you’re right; it rarely ends well. 🙁
A very concise and precise assessment of Brad Pitt’s situation particularly with regard to Q2 – “How free and happy are you now compared to when you were sober?”
Personally I have found fulfillment, joy and peace of mind knowing that I’m in control of my mind and body. My thoughts are always – “If I had one drink. I would have to have ten” and then you’re back to the vicious circle. Keep the faith in yourself by being positively selfish.
Thank you and it’s only that first drink you need to decline so the rest don’t follow. Love that phrase “positively selfish”.
I really agree with what you say, Kate, about “decision fatigue”. Any alcohol is a trap and we think we can moderate but it never works long term. It soon becomes just one empty bottle after another. I felt very sad for him, because he surely knows how great it feels to be alcohol free, now he is simply justifying his decision to “go off the wagon”. Like you said in the Getting Unstuck Course, there is always a reason people drink. I’m sure he will be back to sobriety. I hope he answers your questions and becomes an inspiration for alcohol free living for others.
Absolutely – you’ve captured it so well. Decision fatigue is real and moderation always ends up pulling people back into the same cycle.
Excellent questions for Brad and for anyone considering going “off the wagon.” I remember how exhausting moderation was mentally and physically. I am over 2 years alcohol free and I love the freedom, the improved sleep, the overall life upgrade. Thank you Kate Bee; you bring clarity and shine a bright light on the moderation myth!
Two years alcohol free is fantastic – huge congratulations. Moderation is exhausting and you’re living proof of what’s possible on the other side. Love this. ❤️
Hi Kate. I missed this news too but I can imagine that it may be triggering for some. I feel sad for Brad. He is back in that merky life of need and rules. Thanks to you I am over 3 years sober and I still look back upon that journey with gratitude, pride and a deep sense of connection with women I never met but with whom I shared so much. I think Brad has lost connection with his reasons for stopping. Let’s hope he allows himself to remember how free of need he was during those 7 years. I feel sure he will. Thank you for your posts. They are lovely gifts for me to open and reflect upon my happy sober which I control now.
Three years sober is amazing – I hear such strength and gratitude in your words. You’re right, that murky world of rules and need is such a contrast to the freedom you’ve built. Let’s hope Brad remembers that freedom too.
7 years sober is an amazing achievement, especially in Hollywood. I can’t imagine how hard it is to probably be the only one not having wine at dinner or being at parties at not drinking, especially when going out is an everyday event and part of your business. And have you noticed that all the good Netflix series completely banalise drinking with their actors drinking nonstop, like its the alternative to what cigarettes were in 1960s movies?
I envy people who can just have one or two drinks and I hope that for Brad Pitt. I can’t stop at that, so I can’t drink.
As for Brad, I am sure he will be fine. His work allows him flexibility that working 9 to 5 doesn’t. And he knows the value of sobriety. If he goes off on a tear, it will be waiting for him again.
So true. Seven years sober is extraordinary, especially in an environment where drinking is treated like background noise. I agree that Brad knows the value of sobriety and whatever’s going on, he has the space and support to find his way back to it.
You’re right in saying we can’t know all about his life and what he’s going through. That being said, an educated guess might lead to the conclusion that shame or guilt was a factor? I say this because, for myself these days, I can’t see putting alcohol into your body as anything but self-punishment. As a person might punish themselves when they’re ashamed or feel guilt, it’s this line of thought that pops up first in my mind
Whatever the reason, it sounds like it was very strong in his decision making process. Breaking 7 years of sobriety is surely not something a person does for a trivial reason?
Absolutely – shame and guilt can play a huge role and your reflection on alcohol feeling like self punishment really resonates. You’re right that people don’t break seven years of sobriety over something trivial. Hopefully he finds his way back to the freedom he once had.
Such a thoughtful response, Kate. I felt sad when I heard this news. I don’t think it can have a happy ending and Brad probably knows this too – deep down. Thank you for always bringing us really quality content.
Thanks LeAnn, let’s hope for a happy ending…
I had 4 years of sobriety, and it was great – got out of a job I hated, got a new job and then a promotion, feeling good, a good mum to my daughter etc. Then during Covid I started drinking again out of loneliness and boredom and lack of connection I think. I am still drinking, not to the extent I was, but I don’t like it and realise I can’t moderate. I spent the weekend with an old friend who I used to think drank ‘like me’ when we were younger and now, but in reality she had 3 drinks. I just wasn’t paying attention.
I’m frustrated with myself as I feel like I did the work and was so motivated to stop and it was a success, but that old self sabotage and f*ck it attitude derailed me. I am now going to work on what is keeping me stuck, and do the work all over again. I wish I had never restarted.
Hi LuluBelle, The great news is you know you can do this and how great it feels. However, it can be a lonely journey when you’re doing this on your own. If you need any support, I know my online coaching programme would be a great fit for you. Here are some more details: https://thesoberschool.com/course/