One of the things that drove me to quit drinking was all the pretending I had to do. You know – the acting.
Acting as if I didn’t have a hangover. Acting as if I didn’t mind whether we opened another bottle or not. Acting as if I could just take it or leave it.
And I reckon my acting skills were pretty good, if I do say so myself. But my goodness… it was so draining.
Eventually I got tired of pretending everything was fine – and I explain why in this video.
Key points
Are you acting more than you think?
There’s the pretending (when you open a bottle of wine with your partner) that it’s your first drink of the day, but you’ve already had a few glasses. Or going out for a meal and acting as if you couldn’t care less whether you order another (despite desperately hoping that will happen). There’s the acting that comes with trying to behave like a completely sober person when you’re not – or someone who remembers what happened last night…
Pretending is tiring
My main goal with this post is to get you thinking about how heavily the acting and pretending might be weighing on you. I don’t think I realised what a weight it all was until I stopped. The temptation is to minimise it – to brush over it as if it’s no big deal. There’s a part of us that wants to believe that if we can pretend everything is fine then it must be fine.
Imagine just being yourself
Think about all the effort and energy you’re putting into pretending everything is fine. What else could that be used for? Just think how much time, focus and brainspace it would free up. I quit drinking because I realised that I like an easy life and I promise, alcohol-free living really is that easy option. Drinking is always the harder choice in the long run.
Ready to create an alcohol-free life you love? Click here to learn more about my Getting Unstuck course.
4 responses
Wow! Yes, you have just described me in my former drinking days. Just add the dramatic presentation in morning class/rehersals plus some balancing on pointe shoes. Pretending via “acting” was part of my major lying game. I would even tell myself I had not really had that extra glass (or 2-3 …) because I had ditched the bottle & run the garbage out to the can (dark garbage bag). Out of sight, out of mind. Then, I would have to make some kind of amends to forgotten arrangements, phone calls, errands, etc. The memories are enough for me to be grateful to have the ease of AF living. Negotiating the food thing is another story – can’t eat what I want if I wanted wine due to calories!
The act we presented to the world when feeling anything but fine, was worthy of an award! The forgotten conversations, plans and promises were so shaming too. So happy to be free of that deceit which probably fooled no one. 🙂
So very relatable yes. Good reminder that all that extra energy can now be used to challenge our brain in a more positive manner instead of being wasted on being wasted.
There are so many better, more nourishing ways to use your mind than feeling foggy or wiped out. I love that you’re leaning into the positive side of this – choosing things that actually lift you up instead of drain you. ❤️