I hate being nagged to do stuff.
I don’t want to be guilt tripped, made to feel bad or like I ‘should’ change.
So that probably explains why I’ve been a bit reluctant to share this week’s blog.
I’d much rather inspire, than scare you into quitting drinking.
But… the topic I cover in this week’s video is really important.
Key points
The risks to you
The risks that alcohol poses to you are so wide-ranging – from the risk to your health, to someone smelling alcohol on you or the risk of driving whilst over the limit. The risk of pretending to remember a conversation, saying something you didn’t mean, of hiding your drinks and being caught out.
The risks to others
If you’re drinking several glasses of wine, or a bottle, most nights then over the weeks and the months, that’s a significant portion of the day where you are checked out. If something happens or someone needs you, it’s hard to show up in the way you’d want to.
Why not take a risk on sobriety?
What are the risks that you’re taking with alcohol, day in, day out – and are they worth it? Personally, I decided they weren’t. So I decided to take a different type of risk and step out of my comfort zone by taking a break from booze. I’ve never looked back – it was a risk that truly paid off.
Looking for help and support to create an alcohol-free life you love? Click here to find out more about my Getting Unstuck programme.
54 responses
I took your class in 2018 and I have been sober for all these years now. I have my feet firmly planted in sobriety. Whenever the urge to drink hits me, I am able to reflect back and pull out the tools that I need.This is all thanks to your class. It came to me at the right time in the right place. So grateful to you.
Oh that’s awesome, Marti! Congrats! I took Kate’s course in January of 2021 and am over 500 days sober. Having these tools to return to when I need it has been a life saver. 🙂
I decided I was going to with draw from alcohol and stick to it. After 4 days of it I started to feel better. I have now been sober for 3 month and I’m feeling great. I have joined a class at the gym and I’m here for my family.
Today is 31 days for me
I am on day 9 and very grateful to The Sober School for getting me started. I hope to join the course when it next starts up because after a life time of drinking I reckon I will need all the tools I can get.
Congratulations on your 9 days Frances 🙂 Another tool to try is my pep talk here: https://thesoberschool.com/pep-talk
3 months great. I had a month then put some Irish cream in my coffee. Big mistake. About 5 days starting over! As long as they keep trying I have not failed
Marti, that’s phenomenal! Maybe if I had taken this course in 2018, I wouldn’t be where I’m at now. That year, I had stopped drinking for 10 months. But, 6 days into my 7-day Caribbean vacation with Hubby I relapsed. Tried many times after that, too. Feel like a failure. After praying this AM, I was led here.
I’m so pleased to hear that Marti! It was a pleasure to help you get started on this journey. Congratulations on your sobriety ❤️
The risk of staying sober takes the worry of if my 94 year old mom falls or needs medical assistance, I now do not worry that I’m drunk. It totally bothered me that it was a possibility if having wine I get that call. No wine no worrying.
Thank you Kate..
Thanks for that video Kate! I just finished your Getting Unstuck course and continue to be A/F. I am heading to an event today and was feeling a little vulnerable. The topic of risk is so timely for me. I now feel energized and calm at the same time. I will be A/F proudly!
Go for it Joanne! I know you can do this ❤️
Thanks Kate!!
The past month I have finally realized that changes need to be made in my life and I am ready to make them. Your tapes have been motivating. I have read so many articles recently about health risks from drinking alcohol. I appreciate your friendly advice. Thanks for being there. Luz
I think I’m past help my palour is affected and I’m frightened what’s to come
Hi Debbie, no one is past help – ever! Have you seen some of the inspirational videos on this page? Have a scroll through – and remember, if they can do it, so can you. Here’s the link: https://thesoberschool.com/reviews/
Hi Liz, I’m glad the videos are helping you. It can be a lonely journey when you’re doing this on your own – if you need any more support, my online coaching programme would be a great fit for you. Here are some more details: https://thesoberschool.com/course/
Wonderful advice! I’m a binger in food and booze ! And think they both go together in many people?
I’ve more or less sorted out the food thank goodness it was really painful making myself sick etc (ugh)
But …… I find it really difficult moderating, ! I can if feeling good about myself but if I don’t hiding bottles from my partner then smuggling them out! etc etc it’s SO exhausting
I’m managing to enjoy 2=glasses of wine at moment but it’s dangerous ground! Anyway could go on and on! I’m totally up with psychology of over drinking { and ok ish at moment! Really enjoy your messages so keep them coming please!
Moderation certainly is dangerous ground Patricia – and you’re missing out on so much joy and freedom! It’s not until you quit completely that you realise just how depriving moderation is. It’s such a miserable way of life. I explain more about the moderation trap right here: https://thesoberschool.com/control-drinking/
I was drinking every weekend wine one or 2 bottles.
Great video blog Kate, I identified with all you said, recently had a wake up call that opened a Pandora’s box of memories of how I’ve not cared for my health & or safety due to Alcohol & smoking. Decided to take a break & found your blog while searching online for support. 90% of my life is focused on health & wellbeing & 10% killing myself. Facing some brutal truths & realisations about myself, lies to self. I’m feeling better physically & mentally since taking the decision to have an extended break. It’s helping with the challenges. I didn’t know how exhausted I was, really just strange repetitive drinking alone sessions accompanied by chain smoking. I’ve significantly reduced that too with a view to stopping. It’s nice to sleep well & feel refreshed the next day, I’ve achieved a lot in a short time & want to keep going.
Allison
It’s great to hear you’re taking a break and you’ve got started with it already Allison. Did you know I have a pep talk? It’s good to listen to if you have any cravings or wobbles. Here’s the link: https://thesoberschool.com/pep-talk
Keep going! 🙂
My health my kids my partner and my grandchildren want not to put any more risks
I’m sure they’d love to have an alcohol-free version of you in their lives! If you need any support to take a break from drinking – or quit for good – my online course will show you how to create an alcohol free life you feel really good about. Here are some more details: https://thesoberschool.com/course/
When I was drinking, I would say unbelievably mean things to people. I had no filter but in a wrong way plus I just was too much to handle. I am 4 months AF (Alcohol Free) and I’m still trying to learn to navigate life.
This is exactly why I went alcohol free for 6 months. It was a record for me. I started back recently and I can’t seem to get back to AF living. I know that I need to but don’t seem to have the motivation.
Well done on your previous sober stint of 6 months Carole! It can be hard getting back on track on your own. I suspect there are just a few limiting beliefs or myths holding you back that we need to unpick. If you’d like any support to do that, my online coaching programme will walk you through it all. Here are some more details: https://thesoberschool.com/course/
I know my drinking is slowly killing me. I wish it was as easy as just saying it’s bad for me and I’m stopping. I hate it! I don’t want to drink but I do it every night and I have no support to help me stop.
Thanks for raising an important issue here Jenni. Successful sobriety is absolutely NOT about just saying “it’s bad for me.” That alone doesn’t work! For long term success, what really needs to happen here is a shift in your mindset and some careful analysis of why you’re drinking. It can be lonely work, doing this on your own, so if you’re looking for support, here’s how I can help you: https://thesoberschool.com/course/
Early days, I’m starting off not drinking in the week.
For the first time in years I didnt drink on a friday…wow I cant believe it, I can do this ..keep the will power up as I nearly crashed last night…BUT DIDNT x
Then I will start on healthy eating and exercise…one step at a time I have found is working for me
Thank you Kate x
Keep going Lynne! Are you doing some mindset work as well? Willpower will get you started but for long term success, you do need more than that. If you’re ever looking for help and support, my online course would be a great fit for you: https://thesoberschool.com/course/
What a fantastic video, thank you! Shamefully I took that risk and ended up being arrested. I didn’t get stopped a member of the public called the police. I had parked up not driving. Since that horrendous day I’m paying for that risk I stupidly took. In a sober frame of mind I would never have taken that risk which now haunts me over and over. Yes I’m paying the price, no licence, community service and the disgust I feel with myself. My wake up call has come with a hefty price. I haven’t had a drink since then ( 4 MONTHS NOW)… and feel great but and always a but why did I do it will play over and over in my mind. Alcohol is not the answer it simply will destroy you if you allow it to.
I’m sorry to hear about that incident Sharon – but I’m super impressed at how you’ve turned it around since. Congratulations on your 4 months!
Thankyou for this Kate, I have identified with all you have said and now I know my drinking was worse than what I actually thought it was!! I have been AF for almost 2 weeks, I feel more energetic and more interested in what is actually going on round about me, I would normally have came in from work and if I wasn’t working next day I would start drinking, sometimes 3/4 or depending on my day it could easily rise to 10. Now I’m up early in the morning no hangover, no worrying about what I said to my lovely husband or scared to look at my phone to see what cheeky text message I might have written to a family member who might have annoyed me days/weeks previous. I feel soooo much better and it’s only been a few days but my plan is to stop drinking alcohol completely and start enjoying my life with a sober head, nicer attitude and not a false confidence which alcohol definitely gave me. Thankxx
Congratulations your two weeks Gwen! That’s brilliant. Keep going – the best is yet to come 🙂
So much of what you said is sooo true, will start tonight, I keep upsetting my lovely partner who worries about my drinking because I become a different person. I have driven next day when I feel I should not be. wish me luck
Keep going Sylvia. If you’re looking for more inspiration, I have lots more videos here to help keep you motivated: https://thesoberschool.com/kates-blog/
I’ve been sober for six months and one reason why I choose sobriety is because I know that I’m SAFE. My behavior while drinking was risky in many ways, to include driving, unhealthy decisions for my body, and terrible decisions for my relationships. Finally, I am fully aware that drinking alcohol is NOT safe for me, and sobriety has brought me more joy than I ever imagined was possible. You are right…..taking the sobriety leap is risky, but it’s worth it!!
Congratulations on your 6 months Katie! Sobriety really is so worth it 🙂
Hi Kate, I have tried many times to cut down or quit, but your videos are the only tools that have really hit home with me. Listening to you, I find greater motivation to get sober. Though I can’t say I’m there yet, I have cut down, and really enjoy the days that I don’t drink, which reinforces my motivation. I can honestly say my days are more joyful when I am sober. All the instances you talked about in today’s video resonated so strongly with me I was brought to tears. I have joined your FB group and will continue to watch and listen to you. Besides, love your accent! LOL!
Hi Sue, the Facebook group is for women who’ve taken my Getting Unstuck course. Would you like to join us for the next class? It sounds like it might be the help you’re looking for. Here are some more details: https://thesoberschool.com/course/
Keep going! 🙂
Hi, just stumbled across your blogs. Completely resonates with me. I am coming up to my 50th this summer and can’t continue like this. Had a very boozy weekend and ended up in A&E, but just not sure I have the will power to stop now just before my 50th and also many of my friend’s 50ths. I am often seen as the life of a party but at a cost to myself which I am beginning to understand. Will look into booking myself into one of your 6 week programmes.
It sounds like the perfect moment for you to turn things around Zany. What a brilliant gift to give yourself for your 50th – a changed life and a happier you.
Kate, taking a break from drinking has made my life so much greater. It’s difficult sometimes, but when it is, I remind myself why I’m not drinking. I think of the fact that it is not only beneficial to me in so many ways, but to my kids as well. Relationships are better and I am so much happier. ♥️
This really hits home, I’m only in the early days 2weeks in but when you listen to a talk like that it makes you realise what risks you’ve been taking. I have grandchildren, a good husband and lots of people who rely on me and to be there all the time for them instead of just sometimes is going to be a great feeling. Thanks Kate, Your videos have helped me keep going which I’ve never been able to do .I watch out for them every week.
I am drowning, this not me ,
If you’re tired of feeling hungover, then you’re in the right place Alison. Have you listened to my free wine o’clock survival guide yet? Here’s the link for you: https://thesoberschool.com/wineoclock
I’m taking all the risk, I drink 1-2bottles a night, do the school run in the morning, Can often have a glass of wine at lunch time then do afternoon pick up. I deeply hate myself for it, but can’t control it. I feel like I’m existing, living through the daily motions and the pain. I find I don’t enjoy pleasure from anything any more. Even the most simple things such as a child laughter don’t generate any feeling. I’m just numb to the world yet live in such daily pain. Ironically I lost my mum to alcohol and my dad is a severe alcoholic. Is this just my destination?
It can be a lonely journey if you’re struggling with this on your own Lisa. If you need any support, my online coaching programme would be a great fit for you. Here are some more details: https://thesoberschool.com/course/
Risks no more sinc I’m alcohol free sine April 4 & Thanks to the sober school.
Well done Meg, keep going!
Hi lve stopped drinking in the week just at weekends now , l don’t really fancy it even at the weekend now but lam feeling all my friends are still , lam making my drink last longer so l don’t have as much , it’s been making my heart race at nite which isn’t very nice if l have more than two alcoholic drinks
Your blocks are helping thank you
I’m glad my blogs are helping. Have you seen this one about not drinking at the weekend? I think it might really help you reframe those thoughts. https://thesoberschool.com/not-drinking-at-the-weekend-is-really-hard/
I want to thank all your ladies for your comments! And Kate, every word you say has been so helpful to me! I had 3 “day 1s” last week. And those were possible because I was so hungover! I am happy to say that yesterday was my first successful “day 2”! I have been very moody during the 5-7pm hours but I have finally made it to day three! I’m not going to claim any permanent victories, but it is so nice to NOT be sick!
I am 62 years old and have been drinking and feeling hungover everyday for as long as I can remember. I want to live longer but mostly…live better!
Thank you to Kate and everyone for being here! It is nice to know someone understands!