Kate's Blog

Here’s What I Wish I’d Known 10 Years Ago

Something pretty big happened to me 10 years ago: I quit drinking.

In April 2013, I thought I was just taking a break and giving sobriety a test drive… but alcohol-free living turned out to be so good, I didn’t want to give it up!

I could never have imagined that a decade later, I’d still be sober and I’d be coaching other women to ditch booze too.

This weekend I hosted a special event to mark the occasion. Once the last guests had left, I took a few minutes to record this week’s video blog. It’s an emotional one…

Key points

Here’s my main takeaway for you:

After a decade of sobriety, there’s just one key thing that I wish I’d known this time 10 years ago. It’s this: incredible things can come out of the most unlikely experiences. Truly. I know you probably don’t believe me or you feel sceptical about that right now. That’s ok – I would have been the same. But honestly, you don’t know how good this is going to be.

Alcohol-free women are amazing

When you think about sober people meeting up in person, you might think of an AA meeting with people sitting on chairs, being quite serious. But on Saturday, when I looked around my party at all the women there from my community, there was so much joy and noise and chatter and fun. It was wonderful and the complete opposite of what you might expect. 

Be willing to be wrong and to be surprised

If you’re just at the beginning of this journey, there’s a lot you don’t know. You’re going to be wrong about a lot of stuff: I was too, 10 years ago. My hope is that you’ll believe me when I say that ditching alcohol is one of the best things I’ve ever done. If you can just get started, get the support you need to build some momentum and work on your mindset, then you have the keys to a lifestyle upgrade that could be so much better than you’ve ever imagined.

Looking to create a sober life you love? Click here to find out more about my Getting Unstuck course.

Hi, I'm Kate

I founded The Sober School to show you there’s another way out of your shame that doesn’t involve AA or rehab. 

Comments

72 Responses

  1. Kate, your course absolutely changed my life and I’m so grateful to you. It was January 2018 and I have been sober and healthy and happy ever since. Thank you so much. You’re the best!

    1. Thank you Marti and I’m so happy to hear you are still happy and healthy in your sobriety – congratulations! ❤️

    2. It’s amazing how you feel. Even when I don’t have a good night sleep, I muster. Your class changed my life. My Oncologist at Mayo has taken down your name in hopes to pass it along to others.
      I’m a huge believer! Thank you
      July 4th 2020.

  2. You DID reach through to me.!
    Great program, Kate!!!
    I so appreciate the style of your SS… beautiful and well organized.
    My resistance was high, and you addressed that quickly.
    You deserve that celebratory party…and much more!

    1. Congratulations on 10 years! I will be approaching 1 at the end of May. I haven’t taken your course yet I purchased your book and it keeps me Sober. Thanks

      1. Congratulations Kate on your ten years sobriety you look amazing. I’m 8 months sober yesterday and feeling very proud of myself. Your blogs have kept me going. Thank you. Kath

  3. Congrats Kate and all my sober sisters. Looks like everyone had such a fantastic time. Wish I could have attended. Kate, I am so happy for you and so thankful that you stopped drinking 10 years ago and path you have traveled- you save women’s lives! I am so grateful to you, my sober sisters and the Staying Sober community. Marcie

  4. Kate, your messages have been outstanding for me in my new adventure to becoming alcohol-free. Of all the wonderful quit-lit, sober podcasts, and support from one in-law who’s been here before, you have been my greatest cheerleader. I admire your commitment to yourself above all else. You’re positive energy spills over and has motivated me to stay true to my love for life, even when it gets hard.

    I couldn’t get there from California at the moment, but I was with you in spirit on your big day in London. Again, congratulations, and thank you for all the effort you put into the world.

    1. Thanks so much Laura, that means a lot. We celebrated all our sober community whether they could make it in person or in spirit – it was a fabulous day 🙂

  5. OMG I’ve got goosebumps and a lump in my throat. Hope I can be there with you in another 10years! Day 15 of your Getting Unstuck course and each day I feel better and stronger. You should be very proud at how many ladies lives you are changing for the better.

    1. You will Sara, trust the process because as you can see, great things do happen. I am proud and rather humbled by each and every one of the amazing women I coach, because they all put the work in that I ask of them 🙂

  6. Thanks for posting this Kate. I needed this today I’m 308 days Alcohol Free and for the most part loving not drinking. My only real challenge is friends who would like to see be back on the booze because they think life can’t be fun without it. How wonderful to see your blog today to reaffirm how fun and fulfilled an AF life can truly be xx

    1. 308 days AF is brilliant Heather, well done! Your friends’ comments say everything about their relationship with booze and nothing about your lifestyle choice – which is the best by the way 🙂

  7. Kate – I so wish I were able to join you all. This month marks seven years since I began your course and my new life! It was the most wonderful decision, and honestly, your approach was so perfect for me that I’ve never looked back. I never would have been able to do so many important things over the past seven years with a cloudy brain and lost days because I was tired and hungover. And I’ve told you this before, but it’s amazing how easy it was during the initial course to do it! No negativity, no shame, no labels. Just education and inspiration that led me to this wonderful lifestyle.

    Congratulations on your 10 years and thank you for my seven so far! Much love to you.

    1. Oh Lisa, how wonderful you are still going strong after 7 years! You were in my second ever class of Getting Unstuck and this warms my heart to hear about your success and achievements in other areas of your life since then. Thanks for your kind words; much love ❤️

  8. Incredible ! Thanks so much everybody for sharing with those of us that couldn’t be with you this time.
    Congrats again to you wonderful Kate! ⭐️
    Go Team Sober School – Here’s to you and all our sisters together
    Love and warmest
    Deva ❣️

  9. You look radiant. Congratulations on your success Kate. I’m looking to take a break soon & I find your videos each week very encouraging.

  10. Congratulations on your 10 years! ❤️. I love your blogs, you inspire this 64 year old, 10 months sober, man. You are a blessing.

  11. What a wonderful celebration and such purpose you’ve found in your life by guiding others to a better way of living! This is amazing and the party looks fabulous! thanks so much for sharing and all you’ve done for the sober community!

  12. Congratulations Kate, here’s to the next ten years of discoveries and sober living! Thank you as always for being in the right place at my right time. Rachel xx

  13. Lovely speech. Heartwarming and so genuine. Thank you. Love watching your videos. I learn something new every time, but most of all they reaffirm my decision to quit drinking. Celebrated my 100 days 4th April and am on last few days of my 1st holiday alcohol-free. ( since I was a teenager). Its been great, fun, and a happy holiday. I count it as another milestone on my AF journey.
    Keep up the good work. thank you again.

  14. Congratulations on your 10 years Kate! I took your January 2023 course and yesterday celebrated my birthday and 106 days AF. This blog post is timely for me as I ponder my next sober commitment time frame. It is a great reminder as to what the future can bring if I just stick with it!

    1. Happy birthday and 100 day soberversary – how great is that! Another goal is a good idea to keep focused. It doesn’t have to be a number of days, perhaps a social occasion or a holiday you’ve got planned? Wishing you all the best on your journey Carmen 🙂

  15. So beautiful to hear the joy in your voice and see all the sparkle in the smiles of the guests. Thanks to your course, I’m over 1000 days sober and I’m so grateful for this new alcohol free life!

    1. It was a truly joyful day Lynette ❤️ Thank you and congratulations on your 1,000 days – that’s a beautiful number and counting!

  16. Great video Kate – look how incredibly happy you are. You deserve all that happiness and a lot more to come. You have not only created a better life for yourself but also for 1000’s of other woman too. You quite rightly should feel super proud of yourself. I for one am very grateful to you for your in depth education around quitting alcohol, it’s been wonderful working with you and indeed transforming my life!!!. Thank you and congratulations on your brilliant achievement.

    1. Thank you Julie, I do appreciate every one of my students and the experiences they share with me. Their trust and honesty helps other women following on from them through the sober community at The Sober School.

  17. Brilliant achievement well done! I’m now starting my 6th week without alcohol- I managed to go for wedding and girls party and not drink! That’s very new experience for me. I still sometimes have the urge to open the bottle of red wine in the evening but hoping it will go with time.

  18. Congratulations Kate and thanks for sharing the fun you all had at the party in London. Sorry I couldn’t swing it. I am 196 days AF and loving life. Thanks for your fantastic course and support.

  19. Kate,

    I was crying with happiness watching your video today. I did your January 2020 course and have been sober ever since and I thank you soooooo much. Because of you and the way you teach and talk about this thing in our lives, alcohol, I was able to emerge and now have such a better life. I thank you and wish I could have been there for that amazing party. Congratulations to you!!!! xoxox

  20. Congratulations on 10 years, Kate! So wonderful!. Hope to be where you are now in ten years myself. Taking your course right now. So glad I signed up. I have had some hard days but mostly feeling so supported that how could I not be successful. Hopefully, I will continue with this positive vibe. Thanks for all you do.

    1. Thank you Annette, you are in the right place for success. You CAN do it with our support and it’s my privilege to guide you.

  21. Your video is inspirational and so much of it resonates quite profoundly with me! I would truly love to be in control and get through weekends without drinking. I start with so much determination every Sunday morning that next week will be THE weekend I don’t drink. I’ve let myself down so much for years now and drink far too much… I’m fed up with the lot of it! After watching this video and checking out your website, maybe this weekend might well be THE weekend after all. Thank you

    1. The first few days are always the hardest because you are changing a habit, but you don’t want to keep repeating the hardest part over and over again. Make that promise to yourself that this time will be different, use the free resources from my website and you’ll be so glad you did. 🙂

  22. Congratulations Kate! What a wonderful way to celebrate!
    I took your course in 2018 and have been alcohol free ever since. You gave me the courage to tackle my problem and it changed my life for the better in so many ways. I will always be grateful to you and the Bubble Hour where I heard you being interviewed.

    1. Great to hear from you Sharon and I’m so happy that you are still enjoying AF life – it truly is the best decision I ever made ❤️

  23. Each time I watch and listen to Kate’s videos, I become inspired more and more! I myself find it hard to imagine an alcohol free life, but I so much want to experience it. I take a break for a few days, even a week, but then give in. When I hear all the positive stuff on the videos, I then want to do this! I think to myself – “ other women do it, so so can I!”
    I’m sat up in bed reading the comments, alcohol free for the 2nd night running and my intentions are to keep at it from now. I’ve been buying the “ Nozecco” and I actually enjoy it. My amazing Husband is supporting me as well and has switched to alcohol free Guinness!
    Thanks Kate for your inspiration. You’re a breath of fresh air. x

    1. Having support at home is great and I recommend taking a minimum break of six weeks to really feel the benefits of alcohol-free living, whilst educating yourself about the true nature of alcohol and what it can and cannot do for you. This is the approach I teach women in my Getting Unstuck course, details here: https://thesoberschool.com/course/
      Stopping for a few days here and there means you never get to the good bit that makes you want to continue.

  24. Kate, you are heaven sent, truly, like a guardian angel to 1000’s of women. I can’t thank you enough for you transparency and for sharing your 10-year anniversary celebration with all of us. You continue to remove the isolation that we all have felt or continue to feel wherever we are on our journey of alcohol-free living. Honestly I will be listening to you and following you online forever and will share my experience with others whom I know would want you in their lives. Can’t thank you enough.

    1. Thanks for those kind words and it’s true, addiction thrives in isolation so the sober community element is so important in my classes.

  25. Congratulations Kate! What an exciting accomplishment. Thank you so much for shining your bright light on the path for true transformation. I am approaching my 18 month AF aniversary next week and am so much happier than I have ever been. I laugh more,sleep better and enjoy people more than I use to. So much gratitude for your uplifting approach .

  26. Congratulations Kate! What a fun way to celebrate! I recognize a lot of familiar faces from the October 2021 unstuck group! I am currently 4 months consecutively alcohol free and never looking back! I just turned 50 and feeling better than in my 30’s or 40’s because of finally shifting my mindset to ditch alcohol permanently. Sending big hugs to you and your team❣️

  27. Congratulations Kate. It was a year and a half for me at the end of March as I took your class that started October of 2021 and I’ve never looked back. I don’t miss drinking and I love to look at your videos to help me carry on my alcohol-free life. It was your course and your process that really resonated and allowed me to be successful.

    Cheers!
    Allison

    1. You’re very welcome Allison, there’s always plenty of inspiration from my fabulous students because my empowering approach works ❤️

  28. Hello Kate
    Well I did it….100 day! 16 weeks this weekend.
    My husband has done it with me too. Onwards and upwards

  29. Congratulations Kate. You all look amazing and totally destroy the myth that AF people are boring and don’t know how to party. You all rock.
    I started on January 1st as a dry January goal. I then with your inspiration managed to do the 100 day challenge. I got though Easter and made 101 days in total. I then got tempted as I had the week off work and did have a few glasses of wine over the week and was proud that I managed to moderate, so my first ever week off without hangovers and feeling I needed another week of to recuperate. Don’t really know why I had those drinks as I have been quite happy not drinking. Mainly I think because it is difficult when I’m out to find sober alternatives to wine that I find palatable. They are all too sweet. Have totally rocked the AF beer scenario though and would not now go back to dinking regular beer. After watching this I am thinking of getting back on my AF wagon though, so thank you so much.

    1. Thanks Sandra, we had a rocking good party and the bar staff couldn’t believe we were all sober and having such a blast! The alcohol-free alternatives these days are much improved, so keep experimenting to find ones you like.

  30. Congratulations Kate. I was so disappointed I couldn’t join you to celebrate but I had babysitting commitments. Especially as I live in London. I have been AF since September 22 and I have only been successful due to your input.
    I am happy being AF 99% of the time but there is still a little niggle that something is missing!!!!
    I know I have to work on this.
    Delighted to hear you had a wonderful day.

  31. Dear Wonderful Kate, So beautiful. You all look so wonderful having a fabulous time. I completed the unstuck course in October 2020 and am two and a bit years sober and love every moment. Every day I thank the Universe for sending you to me. I could not have done this without you. Thank you will never be enough to express how I feel. Sending you so much love and huge hugs. To anyone out there reading this and wondering whether to take the unstuck course. Do not hesitate Listen to this beautiful soul Kate is the shining light that we will see you through. The only thing you have to loose is a nasty hangover. Love to all. Sue

    1. Ah thanks Sue and so good to hear you are still happily alcohol-free and heading into year three – yay!

  32. Kate- Your 10 year sober party was the best. And to think I nearly talked myself out of going- Goodness me, what an experience I’d have missed out on.
    The content of your Getting Unstuck course is spot on and the connection and support that this brings is not easily described in an email.
    Let’s just say, it’s a game changer.. If anyone is thinking about joining one of Kate’s courses, I have three little words to offer ….
    ‘Just do it!’.
    Thank you for the course… Thank you for the club..Thank you for opening up an opportunity to this wonderful community of amazing women – many of whom I’ve now had the pleasure of meeting…Thank you for inviting me to your party… Thank you for being such a key part of my journey to a life without alcohol… Thank you for you. xxx
    P.S. You looked fabulous – I would love a pair of those gold shoes please!

    1. Thank you too. Thank you so much for coming along and celebrating with me, Laura. It was lovely to meet you. A very special day of connections indeed.

  33. Hi Kate, everyone this day was amazing from start to finish. To finally meet many of the lovely ladies I’ve been on zoom calls with over the past two years was absolutely amazing a d so emotional too. It was a room buzzing with love, life a d happiness. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. This group changed my life! ❤️

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