If lecturing you about the dangers of drinking was all it took to motivate you to quit, then you wouldn’t be reading this.
And personally, I much prefer talking about the benefits of alcohol-free living, because it’s such a lifestyle upgrade after all.
But the other day I had a conversation with one of my clients that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about.
So I’m covering this important topic in this week’s video…
Key points
The real worry
One of my Getting Unstuck students – who’s in long–term sobriety – recently said to me, “Looking back, I often wonder why I was so afraid of sobriety. I was never afraid to drink and face the consequences.”
I was exactly the same. I hardly even considered how scary it was to continue drinking. I glossed over those risks and put my time and energy into worrying about sobriety and how impossible it seemed. But the potential for bad things to happen is so much greater if you continue to use alcohol.
The risks of drinking
Most of us have done things whilst drinking that we regret. I can give you plenty of examples: walking home alone, losing keys, sending angry text messages, having an argument that you can’t remember the next day. I can go on: staying up drinking the night before an important presentation, embarrassing yourself in front of people you wanted to impress, flying to the other side of the world on holiday and seeing very little because you’re hungover. Falling over, risking your health, injuring someone you care about… the list is endless.
Your brain is tricking you
The only reason that drinking seems safer right now is because sobriety is an unknown quantity. Your brain likes certainty and alcohol feels relatively ‘safe’ and familiar compared to sobriety. But what I’m trying to show you is that drinking isn’t really safe at all. There are a heck of a lot of risks that come with drinking. You could be right around the corner from something bad happening. I’m not scaremongering here, but if you’re going to worry about anything, worry about the risks that alcohol poses. Don’t fear sobriety: there’s nothing to be scared of. If you quit booze, you really won’t regret it!
Looking to create a sober life you love? Click here to find out about my Getting Unstuck course.
26 responses
I liked this reframe. I am scared of quitting drinking and can’t picture my life without alcohol. But I’m also scared of what will happen if I continue drinking. I’ve done so much that i regret, made so many mistakes.
I was exactly the same and could not picture an alcohol-free version of Kate, but I had to give it a try. That’s when I developed my group coaching approach to quitting drinking, because I quickly realised that we shouldn’t have to do the hard things in life alone. If you need any more support, my online coaching programme would be a great fit for you. Here are some details for you: https://thesoberschool.com/course/
This totally resonates with me.
Thank you Kate for bringing this to the fore.
I drink every day, minute I finish work, til late into the evening. Why? I can’t put my finger on one reason…
I do love wine, it’s my favourite thing to drink…maybe that’s why? But I know it’s deeper than that!
I’m nearly 50 and would really love to not want to drink wine anymore…I know this isn’t going to be easy, but I need to try.
Every morning I feel awful, my liver is swollen, I drag myself to my office last minute, don’t eat properly, can’t lose weight. Somehow I function and I work really hard and yes I get stressed and anxious. Minute I finish and start prepping dinner, out comes the wine glass, and into oblivion.
This is often called the alcohol trap Emma and it’s sooo exhausting! Alcohol is an addictive substance and the only drug we have to justify NOT taking because it is so normalised in society. I wrote a blog about this last year that you might be interested to watch too: https://thesoberschool.com/why-do-i-keep-drinking-when-i-said-i-wouldnt/
Emma, I was the same, however I’m 72 and dearly wish I had come to realize how insidious alcohol is much sooner. I’m thankful I don’t have cirrhosis but my doctor says my liver will likely not fully heal. I wish you all the best in your journey.
I was exactly the same. Wine for 4 nights of the week and I’d wake up more anxious. I’ve been free for 14 days but it’s taken seeing my mum very Ill due to alcohol that’s been the wake up call. I’m nervous about my 50th this year being alcohol free and I hope I can stick with it. But for now, I’m pushing on. I’ve never slept as well and look forward to waking up hangover and guilt free xx
Alcohol free celebrations are fabulous and the best bit is, you remember every precious second!
The very first thing that popped into my mind after listening today was this, one of the main reasons I quit drinking was fear of a cancer recurrence. I am an 11 year survivor of breast cancer and I knew that if I kept drinking like I was that my chances of cancer returning were so much higher. It was just too great a risk. I am now 15 months alcohol free. Thanks to your course Kate I am never looking back!
AF living is the best choice for your physical as well as mental health. Congratulations on 15 months of sobriety and reducing the risk of cancer reoccurring. 🙂
Brilliant video Kate. I was very scared when I drank but equally scared to stop. Like in your video about the grand parent dropping the child, I too scared myself so badly whilst drunk over Christmas. That fright did it for me and Iam now 5 months sober. Since stopping I didn’t realise how bad my drinking was and that I was hurting myself.
Thank you for your support….I find you inspirational Kate
We don’t have to reach rock bottom to question our relationship with alcohol, but it’s worth remembering the lucky escapes fuelled by drink that could have ended very differently. No one ever regrets NOT drinking…
Just read Emma’s story that was me for over 40 years feeling awful every day until I got a wake up call with high blood pressure. It scared me! So I did something about it I stopped drinking. Its not easy and I have done it on my own only following Kates group and a few others. I know it sounds so easy to say it but if I can do it then you can. Do it for you as well as your family and grandchildren if you have them. Good luck
The trouble with regular drinking is the slow progression of health problems that are unseen and therefore not addressed. This reminds me of a quote from one of my students who said “I would die for my children, so why can’t I live for them?”
Hello Kate,
I am 5 years sober now. The best decision of my life! I follow you because it gives me more inspiration to moderate the weekly meeting of AA in Antwerp/ Belgium.
Thank you !
Sabine De Haes
I just finished tapering off and then back on . I need Kate in my life to urge me along the way to being sober. My husband passed away last year from lots of other things but cirrhosis of the liver was late stage. I have also been diagnosed with cirrhosis. My doctor said I would live longer if I stop drinking. Today will be the first day of not drinking. I’m looking forward to my journey with Sober School.
I’d be honoured to guide and coach you to a healthier way to live Cindy and I know you’ll enjoy the process too ❤️ Don’t take my word for it, listen to some of my previous students’ testimonials: https://thesoberschool.com/success-stories/
I totally relate Kelly scared of giving up booze but scared of not giving up, this video is really encouraging
I’m back listening to reason. I’ll take one night at a time and gain strength for the next day. Alcohol free. Thank you Kate for the pep talk.
Pam
Thanks for this Kate! I remember day one July 4th, 2021 of your getting unstuck course. I was terrified of getting through that day without my wine friend. Too bad I wasn’t that terrified when I first started this unhealthy habit. This is a great turnaround!
Great video again, always thought provoking and really helpful reminder of why I stopped drinking. And why I must never doubt that decision! I put myself in many scary, dangerous and stupid situations due to drinking over the years. Not to mention health issues. Ridiculous really. !! Always making excuses not to stop.
But having experienced sobriety now for 5 half months I feel like a different person , freeer, safer, braver, honest and unafraid..
It will be 1 year at the end of the month. I was one who did worry about the scary effects of non drinking. The shakes , headaches and just withdrawal symptoms in general. Then I finally realized those would only get worse with time if I did not quit right now.
Such great words Kate and so true. I have done so many stupid things (some I’m ashamed of) when under the influence of alcohol. Posting rubbish on Facebook than waking up the next morning and regretting my action. I’m so happy to be alcohol free now. At the moment we are dealing with a major family crisis and my old self s go to would be to drown myself in wine but I’ve remained clear headed and strong for my daughter who needs my support. I am so thankful and grateful to you Kate for all your encouragement x
Such a great feeling to be fully present when someone needs your support – can’t put a price on that ❤️
Yes so true Kate, your words speak volumes. I’m not at the sobriety stage just yet, but I am in the awareness of it.
Lorraine
If you’d like my help to try a six week break from booze, here are the details to join my next online course: https://thesoberschool.com/course/ How can we know what being sober is like unless we give it a try?
It seems so simple when you put it like that! I find it scary how stuck I was in that other mindset.