When you’re tempted to drink, playing the movie to the end is a great idea.
This means forcing yourself to think about how things will really turn out, if you have “just one drink.”
(Because the truth is, it’s probably not going to be just one…)
This technique of “thinking through the drink” can really help, but only if you do it properly. And not everyone does.
In fact, some people do the opposite of playing the movie forward… So in today’s blog, I want to make sure you’re not getting this wrong either.
Key points:
What “playing the movie to the end” means
When you’re tempted to drink, stop and make yourself think about how things are *really* going to work out. It’s probably not going to be “just one drink”. So what does the end of the movie look like for you?
How will you feel later this evening? How well will you sleep? How will you feel when you wake up hungover? What will you be saying to yourself? Is there anyone else who will be affected by your decision to drink?
Don’t get stuck on the opening scene
Here’s what many people do without realising: they play the first 10 minutes of the movie over and over again in their head, but they never think past that. If you went to the cinema, you would judge a film in its entirety, not based on the opening scene.
If you find yourself saying things like: “Drinking is so relaxing!” then you’re not thinking past the beginning of the movie. Remember, your “drinking movie” lasts for 24 hours, because that’s how long you deal with the fallout of drinking for. How much of that is “relaxing”?
Which movie are you going to play tonight?
You have two choices. You can carry on romanticising the opening scene and playing a movie that’s good for 30 minutes and bad for 23+ hours. You can waste your time, energy and brain power on that.
Or you can press play on a different film: the alcohol-free movie. It might not have a great opening scene and you might wonder if you’re going to like it. But it will grow on you. And this movie has a very happy ending!
43 responses
I Choose the sober movie. So good! Thank you Kate for this advice.
You’re most welcome and a very good choice!
I doing great Kate I’m so appreciative you great help.
Ita.
This comparison is excellent and really highlights the folly of fixating on that first flush if alcohol. It is always a disappointment in the end. Thanks Kate.
I am definitely watching the Alcohol Free movie without a doubt !xxxx
Good for you, it has a happier ending.
Thanks Katie , I choose sober tonight, this explanation totally resonated with me.
I’m so pleased it struck a chord with you Nancy. I have many more sober strategies like this to share in my online course called Getting Unstuck: https://thesoberschool.com/course/ Please take a look if you’d like to hear more.
I too resonated with Kate and realised I could’ve written that same scenario all by myself! I’m glad I’m not alone in experiencing the same fallout from ‘just one drink!’ I’ve had a number of failed attempts to stay off the wine completely and I know from experience that the film is always the same. Knowing this has keeping me on the right track since New Year’s Day and I feel happy that I’ve got those things unpleasant experiences to refer to.
I definitely will watch the sober movie Kate and I know if I have one it won’t be enough so here’s to another sober night
Hi Kate,
As always, you did a fabulous job of explaining the “play it forward” tool.
I have successfully used that many times and it is so powerful for me. You are right, you have to go ALL the way through the movie in your mind. You have to get to the part where you ask yourself what you will feel like at 3:00AM, waking up with anxiety and dread. What will the next day be like having low energy, anxiety and doing anything is a chore because you feel awful. It sure isn’t a relaxing treat and the drinking never ends well….it really never does. We know the ending to the drinking movie.
I am so happy to be 126 days alcohol free today…..your emails and videos have been so helpful. Thank you again for all you do to help others really see drinking alcohol in its entirety. It’s definitely not the relaxing, fun drink that it’s marketed to be.
Yes indeed Patti, alcohol is not the relaxing, fun drink that it’s marketed to be at all. Well done on 126 days free of the alcohol trap. That’s amazing and I’m so pleased that my blogs inspired you to give sobriety a chance!
In a bit wobbly tonight as it’s a bank holiday here but I’m going to do my uttermost to watch the AF movie, this has helped although I’m not out of the woods yet . Thank you
Listen to my free pep talk to help you through a wobble – you won’t regret not drinking in the morning: https://thesoberschool.com/pep-talk
Thanks Kate I will be watching the sober movie joan
Thank you for this Video message – indeed it gets better with time. You stop thinking about it.
Do you remember the speech that Greta Thunberg delivered at UN a couple years ago..”how dare you, how dare you – to steal our dreams …..
Okay she talked about clime. I wish we could say to the alcohol industry – “how dare you … not to make it clear that we have been drinking a poison”.
Good point Alexandra – how dare they sell us a lie.
“ALCOHOL-FREE”, is the movie for me, this evening.
I always know the right choice intrinsically, but, I have a real battle giving up on that, ‘fab first scene scenario’, in my mind.
Thanks, Kate.
Maybe my movies must be set to start on Scene 2.
Good plan for this evening, stick with it. That’s why visualising the whole 24 hours is the right way to ‘play the movie forward’. It’s all about seeing the bigger picture and understanding the long-term benefits of your decisions.
I think your video is really powerful. I’ve been angry with myself so many times. And I want a way out from drinking. The problem is that it’s so hard to avoid it when all your social groups involve some alcohol.
We do live in a society that romanticises and glamorises drinking, but sometimes all it takes is for someone in a friendship group, work environment or family to go first. I wrote a blog last year about this very topic that I think you’ll love: https://thesoberschool.com/how-to-be-sober-when-everyone-else-you-know-drinks/
Great reminder to play the WHOLE movie forward! I took your Getting Unstuck course in September 2019, and since then have been alcohol free (5 years and counting!) It’s absolutely true that life / the whole movie is more colorful, more vibrant and more enjoyable without alcohol. Small changes in the beginning (these are shared in the course) lead to sustainable changes in the long run. The only regret I have is that I didn’t quit drinking alcohol sooner! Thanks so much for all you do, Kate!
Wow, five years – how fabulous is that? Lovely to hear how well you are doing Anne, a sober superstar.
Brilliant -,the 24 hour horror movie resonated so much and the waking up hungover at 4am …… truly is a horror movie and you are so right, you are indirectly punishing yourself xxx
This really made me think Kate and it’s so true. I can never have just one drink and so it’s best just to not have any. Thanks for your inspiring post as always
yep love the reassurance life gets better and better- appreciate this all. 5 Jan stopped and still with it.
Good for you, sobriety keeps getting better so enjoy “feel good February”
Thank you Kate! I look forward to hearing from you every Monday on your posts! You are so encouraging to me. I definitely know what you mean about playing that movie over and over again. I don’t want to do it anymore but it’s so hard to stop. Please don’t stop sending these awesome posts because you are exactly what I need with your great advice! Thank you!
I’m so pleased you enjoy my Monday blogs Rose, thank you. Alcohol is an addictive substance which makes it hard to stop drinking, but truly it’s the drug that claims to do everything and it seriously can’t do all the things we attribute to it. See my previous blog about this very subject: https://thesoberschool.com/alcohol-the-drug-that-claims-to-do-everything/
Thank you Kate for such a simple yet impactful way to think about our choices!! I will remember the movie analogy next time I even think “I will just have one”….which is not often. But I will remain AF tonight thanks to you !!
Good to hear you’re remaining alcohol-free tonight Eileen. Sobriety truly is a lifestyle upgrade in my opinion.
I took Kate’s course. She delivered so many great tools on how to stop relying on alcohol for things it never delivered anyway. I was that person who said, “That first drink is so relaxing and I deserve it.” And I was that person whose horror story played out every night and every morning.
On March 5 2022 I turned the movie off. I promised myself 60 days of sobriety. I signed up for Kate’s course in April. During the course, I pushed out my sober time to 90 days. At day 78 I decided to hedge 100 days. At day 80. I decided to go to 250 days, meaning a total sober summer. Day 250 came and went and I didn’t notice and I didn’t drink because by then my new movie was sooooo much better. I landed a great new job. I rebuilt my relationships with my adult children. One of them also quit drinking. My spouse quit drinking. I wrote a novel in my spare time. I have future plans that are so exciting. This was not my life 3 years ago on that sad little movie loop. Its better than I ever dreamed of.
It’s fantastic to hear about the amazing life you have built for yourself, just by removing alcohol Jonelle. Thanks so much for sharing your story and the goal setting strategy that works for so many of my students. The ‘ripple effect’ of you stopping has also benefited your family and that is priceless. Wishing you continued fulfilment and happiness in your epic movie.
Appreciate this. Sober movie for me.
Kate- you have perfect timing. I needed this Play the Movie Forward message yesterday. I had a tough day at work, and in the past, I would’ve used that as an excuse to drink. I’m now on day 72 being alcohol-free, and yet, I still had a fleeting thought, “I could use a drink.” But, then I saw your message in my inbox and watched the entire video. Playing the entire movie forward, I knew that drinking wasn’t the answer. I so appreciate your reminders, encouragement and guidance. Just wanted to say thank you
You’re very welcome Liz and 72 days is a fantastic achievement! The further away you get from your last drink, the stronger you become and the more invested you are in your sobriety. You don’t want to throw all that effort and time away on something as drab as a crude sedative. Place pride and value on your sober streak and celebrate your commitment to continuing. It really is worth it.:-)
The question of which movie to play to the end is now a really easy one for me. Infact it’s a “no-brainer” as they say in the classics. After a recent ultrasound confirmed suspicions that I have fatty liver disease – even though I’m many months sober – I’ll be playing the movie in which I stick to abstinence…
…and if for some peculiar reason I fall prey to romantising the boozing habit again, I’ll quickly be switching to the movie ending where I’ve ended up on a ramp waiting for a bed in hospital
As someone who started my boozing career later in life around 29 years old (not counting short-lived teenage experimentation with booze at around 16 – 18 years old), I’d like to put my story out there as a cautionary tale for others: My boozing career of 20 year’s length has already had a profound impact on my physical health – robbing me of it in a huge way – and I’m not even 50 years old yet
Both these movie ending are powerful reminders of the impact alcohol can have on our health. Thank you for sharing this Rose.
You’re most welcome Kate
I’d even like to go further with my cautionary tale if I may and make links between it and the myth of needing to “Bottom Out” before reaching for the sober life – In years of answering all the “Is your drinking becoming a problem?” style questionnaires I could access, not once did my habit meet “problematic” criteria. I can honestly say I’ve always been responsible when boozing, have never driven while drunk and have never hurt myself or others through falls, accidents or aggression and so on. Doctors couldn’t justify referring me to rehab on the basis of the questionnaires… Recent results from ultrasounds and blood tests now though show that I should gone to rehab years ago
On a brighter note though, I’m so glad there’s people like you Kate who are out there working so compassionately and practically to help people like me. Thank you so much for your unwavering support and untiring efforts in glamourising living sober – Every line you write in every blog entry you post contributes something truly valuable towards saving someone’s life somewhere
You’re most welcome Rose. Sobriety really is a life style upgrade. I would love for more people to get the opportunity to experience that.
Oh dear. I’ve undone all my hard work from last year and had a wet January. This is so true and so relevant to how I’m feeling today. For reasons that don’t matter, I wanted wine last night. So I bought a bottle. I know I’m not chemically dependent, it really is a thought process that I find hard to win. I know I can’t just have one. I know when I buy a bottle of wine I’ll drink most of it – which is what I did. Started today with an alka seltzer and I’m onto my third glass of water. I’m doing what I wanted to do today but with a headache and a downhearted feeling. It’s time to start again
Look after yourself as you recover Joanne. Your body will thank you for that water. Plenty of rest and good nutritious food too. Perhaps this movie would be good to play if you feel tempted again.
Kate,
I went 2 1/2 years alcohol free then one day I thought I could have ‘just one’. That ‘just one’ started me on a very bad time of on again off again drinking that lasted 6 months. Happy to say I’ve been off the wine express since December 30th. I think this tool is one of the most helpful of all. Never looking back again, will play the movie all the way to the end!