Do you genuinely like the feeling of being drunk?
I know it seems a strange thing to ask.
Back in my drinking days, I would’ve rolled my eyes at this. Of course I liked it!
But to be honest, I never stopped to think about the physical sensation of getting drunk.
And when you really analyse it… well, it’s quite a strange thing.
That’s what this video is all about:
Key points
Step into someone else’s shoes
When we’re analysing the feeling of being drunk, it helps to think about someone who never normally drinks. Picture a teetotal friend, child or young adult. What would their experience be, if they were tricked into consuming alcohol?
Perhaps you can remember your first ever drink. What was that like? Personally I didn’t like it. The room began spin and I felt awful. It wasn’t very relaxing or fun.
Stick to the facts
Drop any romantic language and nail down the facts. When you feel drunk you tend to get a bit dizzy and lightheaded. You might feel slow and out of control. Your vision, speech and coordination may change.
If you had to take some medication and the side effects included an inability to think clearly, speak articulately or control your actions – and the risk of vomiting, heart disease and cancer – you’d probably be reluctant to use it!
Why do we romanticise being drunk?
Alcohol is the most normalised and glamorised drug on the planet. We grow up watching the adults around us drink. We’re brainwashed into thinking booze is a good thing before we’re even old enough to have our first glass.
The language we use to describe alcohol use is very positive as well. When we reference other drugs, we talk about getting a fix, getting high or using. But with booze we’re just ‘getting tipsy’ or ‘feeling a bit merry’.
The good news…
If we can convince ourselves that using alcohol is fun – despite it being a toxic, cancer causing substance that makes us feel ill – then we can talk ourselves into quitting too.
If we can believe that it’s fun to be zombified, then we can use that same brain power to get excited about sobriety too. We can start telling ourselves a better, sexier story about living alcohol free and showing up for our one and only life.
If you need any help to quit drinking and feel good about alcohol free living, you can join the waitlist for my next class here.
31 responses
Thank you, Kate, for teaching me how to be sober. You did this by telling me I could take a break, by telling me I didn’t have to label myself with a condemning label, by asking all the right questions causing me to understand why I drank. It feels so good to be sober. Thank you.
Hear hear, Tish! Thank you for so eloquently putting into words just how I feel. I am so grateful every day for my sobriety. All thanks to Kate and wonderful “sober sisters”like you! Hugs!!
I agree. I am tired of being absent from my own life. I am on the mend again. My first drink of alcohol was nasty when I was younger. I didn’t understand how people could drink this stuff. As I got older, I drank more. Drinking is a very nasty & expensive habit. When I stopped drinking during Kate’s April course, my fiancé & I decided to put money in a box during the course. This was money we would have spent at our local bar/restaurant. It wasn’t just booze we were spending money on. Of course you want greasy snacks afterwards. I had also lost 11 pounds during my alcohol reprieve. We saved $2800. That was eye opening. I’m glad to be back at it again. Thanks to you wonderful ladies & Kate. I enjoy reading others comments.
Hi Kate! Important post. I remember when this changed everything for me. I inadvertently consumed a weed edible, which made me feel like I had quickly drank 8 shots. I remember thinking “I hate this feeling” – losing all of my intelligence, and being this incoherent person not in control of her behaviour. Alcohol and being drunk really sucks. And I knew I had to put it behind me.
The idea of being prescribed a medication with the same side effects of drinking was really good. Hadn’t thought about it that way. Thank you!
Hi Kate. I remember my first time I got drunk. I was at a party across the road from where i lived. I felt really wobbly and kept tripping over. A friend let me stay at their house where the room really started spinning and I was sick in my friends camping saucepans which were on the window cill! I felt awful the next day and was terrified, and quite rightly so, what my dad would say! My mum doesn’t drink and if she got drunk or even tipsy she would be a big danger to herself and definitely not funny or happy or enjoy it. As for the statement “would you take a medicine that gave you the same side affects as booze?” Well I think now when you consider how many people are refusing to take the covid vaccine because of side effects, it makes you think!! Why on earth do we drink to get those effects? I used to like how it made me feel for the first few drinks but after that…. well we all know, we lose control and it can end up very unpleasant!
Powerful Kate.. really got positive emotion going in me with if we can talk ourselves into drinking we can certainly talk ourselves out! I’m just psyching myself up again to quit.. did 3 months Jan -March And stupidly had wine as a test .. still drinking every night as a result !
I think I’ve just got into the habit of drinking over lockdown and I took early retirement being a district nurse I HAD to drive each day but now I ve got freedom I seem to drink most night because I can
I never get drunk as in fall around or can’t remember
Same… I’m a drinker, not a drunk. Its been such an easy habit to fall into, drinking every night. But I’ve said to my husband we need to cut down especially during the week. So we are now into our 3rd week of being on the wagon Mon-Thurs OK its very early days but so far it’s working and getting easier every week x
I really love being sober and feeling good, so why when I become stressed the first thing I do is go for a drink?
I’m in the same boat as you. I feel great when I’m sober and wake up rested without guilt or shame. Yet every time I have a stressful day all I can think about at night is drinking. I don’t know how to break this cycle, it’s so hard.
Really timely for me Kate, I had been thinking that I miss the feeling of being “slightly tipsy”! Your post has made me realise I was on a trip down the romantising road.
Thank you for that its made me think about things xx
The thought of my grandchild having a drink appalls me. I need to think about why I don’t see myself as important as that!
You are brilliant but it’s not about getting drunk anymore it’s like I talk myself into that I need it and get in a panic if I can’t get it
Gosh I so relate to this! I don’t get drunk-drunk but feel a need for those few drinks each evening. The first one always feels like a huge sigh of relief.
It is good to remember what it actually feels like to be drunk. Totally out of control. I have lost count of the times I have injured myself falling over and let’s not forget the horrendous hangovers! No thanks!
The first time I got “tipsy” I was about 14 , at a friend’s house. Her dad had a stash of homemade wine. She opened a bottle, we drank it all. It was winter, walking home I stumbled and crashed into all the snow banks. Your comment if we would never give this to a child why do we drink it. Great food for thought. Yes, why?
102 days AF and when I do have a yearning to go and buy a bottle I close my eyes and remember how horrible that uncontrollable spinning feeling was when you want to go one way but the feeling in your head pushes you another way….. hated it so thank you for showing me another way …. Loving it
Thank you, Kate. Another great video, food for thought. No, being drunk is not a good feeling. Feeling out of control, dizzy, risk falling, injury. And so Why did I drink white wine while cooking, WITH KNIVES!
No, I would not take a medication if those were the side effects.
In Sober Diaries, Clare Pooley said to find a photo of yourself as a child. Ask yourself, would you give alcohol to her/him, wish her a life of over drinking. I ask, “What happened to that innocent child?”
This is such a good video! Glad to have the refresher. My first time drunk was around 16 was horribly sick vomit in the front yard. and at the time had a partial plate ( had a bike accident and knocked out my front teeth so had to get false). anyway false teeth fell out and a group of kids out in the yard looking for my ! Sounds funny but that was awful! Thank god we found them . I never was a big drinker after that, not for years. Started this drinking problem in my late 40’s. Thank you so much Kate !
Thank you Kate, I remember my first ever drink when I took a few gulps of my Mum and Dad’s Sauternes (yuck yuck yuck) I was probably on around 14 and i spent the next hour in the shower vomiting … not nice at all. Then around the age 15-16 I got drunk with friends before a disco and ended vomiting too, why did I ever continue?? Your analogy about medications was quite true too, if I got those side effects from meds, I would be questioning my Doctor for sure. I am now in Day 10 and feeling strong at the moment but I am filling any spare time, reading and learning as much about alcohol as I can. Just have to keep that Wine Witch at bay and all will be good. Looking forward to a sober future.
I never get drunk (I have a phobia of vomiting) or hungover but have several units of alcohol a night so that I’m “nicely buzzing”. I feel chattier, more relaxed and more fun to be around. I know it’s an illusion really; a house of cards. It’s still poison causing that “buzz” and it’s been so long now that I’m starting to worry about my health, especially my memory. I’m 47 and have drunk too much for decades. It feels like last chance saloon for me. I hope your course can help me quit once and for all. There has been so much stopping and starting; so many failed attempts at moderation.
I actually was a child the first time I got a buzz. My dad made daiquiris from scratch for my grandmothers and great aunts when they occasionally came for Sunday dinner. These lovely elderly ladies would take quite a while to sip on them out of fancy stemmed glasses. I truly liked the taste of them, they were very lemony, and one day helped myself to the last few sips in their glasses when they left them to go to the dinner table. I was probably under 6 years old. Shortly thereafter I declared that I felt dizzy, and the adults realized what I had done and told me to go out to the back porch to get some air. I don’t remember it as a particularly bad experience, and cocktail hour was a regular weekend event in my house growing up. Perhaps it was somewhat amusing to the adults , but likely not to my mom. Anyway, the experience wasn’t exactly a deterrent. But I wouldn’t have wanted my own children to do that and was never the parent that shared sips with them.
After a full 6 months of sobriety I decided to test the odd glass of red wine only when socialising with my husband. This was risky and I am happy to say that I really didn’t like not only the taste but the buzz just even one glass gave me. I felt immediately fuzzy and a bit sick which proves it’s poison. My risk paid off for me and I count myself lucky I had a reaction to stop the myth of moderation. I really couldn’t imagine anything worse than being drunk. Thanks again Kate x
I remember bad experience with a friend in my 20s drinking bottles of cider and getting bus home feeling dreadful being sick everywhere but carried on now 40 turning 41 . I don’t want alcohol in my life I’ve got into arguments drinking with family and friends , Embarrassed myself in nightclubs etc . I’m sticking to being sober I’m a better parent , girlfriend , friend just so much more in control alcohol has no purpose in my life I do a lot of cardio and running so that’s my focus and I would never give my kids alcohol sounds horrible wanting to be good role model on waiting list for unstuck course in October !!
My first drink left me feeling dreadful, I was sick, the room was spinning and it virtually ruined my family’s Christmas Day! I definitely didn’t like the taste!
I’m now 45 years old and almost 8 months sober! Shame it took this long to realise sobriety was way better but I’m here now and I’m staying here!
Thanks Kate for a thought provoking video. I agree with all you said but feel that you missed the main ‘benefit’ of booze. That being the relaxing ‘buzz’ one gets after a small quantity. Small being the operative word as any amount beyond that equates to drunk and then it’s all downhill because it’s so addictive.
I know my 87 year old mum still looks forward to her one glass of scotch every evening. Presumably to relax and provide the ‘buzz’ she desires to finish her rather dull day?
Herein lies the paradox…?
Btw I am 8 weeks sober and intend to go at least another month. It’s definitely an upgrade.
P.S.
I meant only benefit not ‘main’!
I’ve been booze free for 17 months now and I can honestly say that I’m never going back to it. Done. I quit for a few months August-November 2019. Then tried to “moderate” (haha, very funny). By March 2020, I was pretty much back to where I was in July 2019… And so, you sit there and go – “Alright dude, it appears there are two options here. You stay on the road you are on and just continue with it and drink away your life. Or. You take the next exit, turn around and never look back. Ever.”
I think until you hit the “rock bottom” and find your “why”, nobody can do this for you. It’s all on you. Beer isn’t evil. It’s you. Wine isn’t evil. It’s you. All of it is you and you either choose to get your doo doo together and become a sober human being or you’ll keep on using booze to run away from whatever you try to run away from. The choice is yours.
I have been suffering from a bit of vertigo lately. The first time it happened I rolled over in bed and I was in a spin. I immediately thought how awful it felt and that this is how I feel when I drink too much. I wondered why in the world would I want to do this to myself. Why would I want to drink sooo much that I have this terrible dizzy feeling. I can’t control my vertigo but I can control my self infused spins. Thank you for this message Kate