At this time of year, I often hear from people worried they’ll be missing out if they stay sober on holiday.
They can’t imagine skipping cocktails by the pool or saying no to wine with their evening meal.
When you’re feeling this way, it’s so easy to talk yourself into giving up on your sober goals.
I want to help you reframe the fear of missing out and see things in a different light.
I explain all in this week’s video.
Key points
Remember: everyone is missing out
Everyone is missing out on something, all of the time. It doesn’t matter whether they drink or not. Everyone is missing out on something and it is impossible to have a full or complete experience of anything.
When you go on holiday to a new place, every single day is full of decisions about what you do and don’t do. Will you sunbathe or sightsee? Stay put or explore the area? Which restaurant will you go to? What will you order? You can’t do it all.
What are you happy to miss out on?
Once you really get your head around the idea that everyone is missing out on something, your focus can shift from “Am I going to miss out?” to “Ok, what is it I’m happy to miss out on?”
Personally, I’m really happy to miss out on hangovers whilst on holiday. I’m also happy to miss out on the obsession that comes with trying to control alcohol at a time when I want to be relaxing. I don’t want to come home needing another holiday to get over the first one!
What really matters?
When you get back home and people ask how your holiday went, are you going to give them a run down of everything you had to drink? I doubt it. Instead you’ll talk about how much rest you got, what you saw, what the area was like. That’s the stuff that really matters.
If you’ve not experienced a sober holiday before, isn’t it about time you tried one? Why not change the script this year and stop missing out on the kind of break you deserve. It might just be the best upgrade ever.
Looking for help and support to create an alcohol-free life that feels good, whether you’re at home or on holiday? Click here to find out more about my online coaching programme.
31 responses
It’s true when you drink on holiday you feel more tired when you return . The alcohol saps your energy and with the heat it’s not a good combo and nothing is worse than having a hangover in the heat ! I go away in September and trying to think of how I can skip the nightly drinks or just have a drink with a meal ?
Absolutely Lynne! There are so many delicious alcohol-free alternatives to try these days, enjoy experimenting to find one you like 🙂
Just come back from 2 weeks holiday in France . First sober holiday ever and am currently on day 80 AF.
Everything Kate says is true. Best holiday ever because I could remember all of it and felt truly rested and grateful for the time away with loved ones.
Congratulations Tanya! That’s exactly what holidays are about. Rest and relaxation with our loved ones ❤️
Totally agree!!!! I did Kate’s online course and Iam currently 3 1/2 years AF!!!!!!
Great work Kate
Thank you for this!
I’m currently in an out patient rehab program and this absolutely helps to reinforce that!
I am looking forward to my first AF Holiday. All my family will be there. I had some AF Beers sent ahead of time. Thanks for the good advice Kate.
You are very welcome Laurie – have a fabulous holiday!
Currently on holiday in Greece enjoying beautiful scenery gorgeous weather fabulous food and lots of AF drinks – homemade lemonade 0% beer and mocktails to name a few! I’m living life to the full without alcohol who’d have thought – not me !
Used to return from hols feeling like needed a detox now feel relaxed and refreshed x
Not missing out on hangovers one iota!
Loving the freedom of an AF holiday – definitely needed change in mindset before first sober holiday but now could not pay me to drink on holiday again x
If you’ve not tried it – test it out -you won’t be disappointed!
That’s brilliant to hear Claire, enjoy the best upgrade ever 🙂
Alcohol makes all experiences, no matter where they are or with whom, basically the same. Once you get that buzz, all the other details are muted and what you remember is that you felt like you normally do — half present. Freedom is getting up early to experience that sunrise you’d never manage if drinking or heading out at dusk (wine o’clock) to do something you’d never consider if you had to be getting that alcohol level up to speed! As I say over and over, until you stop, you just can’t imagine the change that happens and the way your life expands.
Spot on Linda! Alcohol numbs the highs as well as the lows…
I have had a few alcohol free holidays and each one gets better than the last. I’ve had more choice/variety when it comes to drinks (wine is just so booooring) I’ve enjoyed the sweet trolley (I could never eat sweet stuff and drink) I’ve watched the sunrise (feeling fresh in the morning is ace) and the sunset walking along the beach (rather than attached to a hotel bar) I’ve come home looking forward to the next holiday and Yep alcohol free holidays are the best. #1936 days AF
Exactly Christine, our world gets bigger and more fulfilling 🙂
So interesting to think of it this way! That is quite helpful!
As always thank you!
Thanks Kate.
Stupid Question.
You are talking about a sober holiday. I’m unclear
What Holiday is it?
Am I missing out on something? lol
My last holiday was 4th of July. I watched fireworks from a boat in the water and had strawberry cheesecake.
Anyway, alcohol just doesnt taste the way I remember nowadays.
Im so better off without it.
In August my daughter gets married. No alcohol for me! Im paying the bar bill 🙁
But Im going to enjoy every other moment of the day. Dulce
I’m talking generally about holidays Dulce; it’s summer here in the UK and many people are jetting off for the first time in 2 years for some sunshine. Your daughters’ wedding will be even more memorable with a clear head, have a fabulous time.
In the UK we call vacations holidays..hope this helps !
Thanks Kate, that was a great motivator and encouragement to continue on my alcohol free journey- I will be experiencing a holiday without alcohol for the first time ever in my adult life! Sounds crazy but it’s true. I’m looking forward to the carefree days with out the hook of alcohol trying to occupy my headspace and time in the day/evening when we as a family can experience more when I’m alcohol free. I’ll let you know how it feels on return. Best wishes Clare
That sounds perfect Clare, please do share your first experience of an alcohol-free holiday ❤️
Just had a sober camping holiday. My friend drank, but not much. I swam in the lake, kayaked and walked for miles. Weather was great. I ate fudge in the evening when we were chatting and playing cards! I’m just at the end of my first month and feeling great. Love your videos xx
That sounds like a great holiday; definitely not missing out on anything!
Hi Kate, I’m currently on my first sober holiday and really enjoying it! Yes I’ve had a couple of moments when the kids have been over tired etc where I’ve thought I’d love a glass of wine to chill out, but I keep thinking it forward which has so far worked really well. I was nervous about this week before coming away, but actually day 4 and I’m really pleased I’m alcohol free, present with my children and getting some proper rest!
You’ve hit the nail on the head there Sarah “present with my children and getting some proper rest”. That’s exactly what holidays are about! Congratulations on your first sober break and if you ever need some support, please see details of my online course where I coach women to create an alcohol-free life they’ll love: https://thesoberschool.com/course/
There are so many AF choices now a days, I’m not missing out on anything.
When I was buying some Heineken 0 last night a nice gentleman gave me a thumbs up on my choice to be alcohol free
This is such an encouraging post! I will be only a few weeks after the finish of my course, but I will do my best with AF drinks and by picking out a lot of things-to-do while I am there!
Exercise those sober muscles and have a fabulous time!
I am looking forward to my beach weekend with my grandchildren which really makes me want to have a sober holiday.
Thank you so much for this blog. Have just started trying to go AF
.I am going on holiday in September and was struggling with feeling that the much longed for all inclusive package would be a waste!!!!
This is a really encouraging help to start to change my mindset
Our minds are very powerful so flipping the script is really helpful. Think of what you are gaining; sobriety is the cheapest and best holiday upgrade ever!
Such wise words Kate, as always. After a holiday with booze, I am about to go alcohol free, who knows how long this time. Icompleted the October 2020 ‘Getting Unstuck’ course which really set me up for 11 months alcohol free. Sadly, have fallen for the ‘moderation’ myth and ‘fomo’ But, armed with course information and ‘tool box’ my second attempt at a f living will be successful this time