How do you know when it’s time to quit drinking or take a break from booze? It can be tough to tell.
For many people there’s never a dramatic, rock-bottom moment that forces them to stop.
In fact, the call to ditch alcohol can be much more subtle than you might think. So how do you know when you’ve got to that point?
I asked some of my students to share what made them decide it was time to quit. I’m sharing their answers in today’s video – I think you’ll find them surprising, fascinating and perhaps very relatable.
Sober School students explain what led to them taking action:
Helen
“I found I wasn’t being quite as honest about whether I’d had a glass of wine… or I would think, ‘I’m retired, I can have a glass of wine with a sandwich at lunchtime’. I knew by the Christmas of 2022 that I was in trouble. My drinking was controlling me. I wasn’t controlling it. I was drinking at least a bottle of wine a day, more if we were socialising. But no one would have ever known, really, other than my very close family.”
Madeline
“I would say that in the decade previous, I’d probably have one terrible overdrinking episode a year. But then it started shifting to maybe two catastrophes a year. And in the last couple of years of drinking, it was going up to once a season. I would be drunk in a blackout. It was never my intention to drink like that. My intention at the beginning of the evening was to have 1 or 2 glasses of wine. It was like playing Russian roulette by the end.”
Marjorie
“There was no downtime. No matter how many times I would say, let’s not drink between Monday and Thursday, or not on a school night, or let’s take a week off – it just would never happen. One day towards the end of December, I sat and watched one of your videos, and I just had tears streaming down my face. And my husband Baz came in, and he said, ‘Whatever’s the matter?’ And I just said, ‘I really want to do something about drinking alcohol. I’ve just got to the end of what I can stand, and I want to make a big change.’”
Annette
“I knew I could not face another day of talking to myself in the shower and saying, ‘You’ve got to stop this, Annette.’ I’d looked at your blogs and had been circling around the outside like a shy child who wants to join the game but doesn’t really know how to ask. I cried every time I thought about it. I was in tears because I knew I really needed your help. And when I finally did it, it was such a relief.”
Alex
“Perimenopause and COVID hit at exactly the same time, and my drinking definitely accelerated. I don’t think I’ve ever felt lower in my life. When I think about the amount of time I used to spend bargaining with myself – the rules – it’s so hard. I was masking incredibly well. I’d been drinking at unhealthy levels for many, many years, but in 2022 I realised the cracks were beginning to show. I realised I can’t lie to myself anymore about where this was going.”
5 responses
Hello again. Every one of these ladies has an important message – looks can deceive. It is truly how one feels within. My experience, as you know, was in the hospital for nine days with severe colon issue. Some kind of blessed intervention in the form of a removal of the desire, interest, control, etc. of wine occurred, but the hospital is not the most charming place to learn how severe wine can affect our bodies. As wisely said by Kate previously, I wish I had known before then what we know now!
Looks can indeed be deceiving, often because we were hiding our drinking so well. However you came to your sobriety and The Sober School you are doing this now and it’s a pleasure to support you along the way.
Thank you and yours so much for the support! It is truly inspiring and I feel I have gotten to know several of your lovely team! On another note, I so look forward to your backdrop on the videos – beautiful countryside. My husband and I head to Wells at the end of July so we love seeing familiar landscapes!
Hi Kate
Annette described it very well – like her I have been and am currently circling around your blogs like a shy child.
I’m 75 and lost my husband 3 years ago to Alzheimer’s which was horrendous. I have great family and friends and a busy social life but have always ended most nights with my own company (which I quite enjoy) but also a bottle of red on top of what I had consumed during the day.
I’m very wary of the group interaction as that’s not really my thing but seriously coming round to the idea of how it may really work for me.
What I’ve seen so far is already so helpful in getting my head in the right place.
Hi Anne, I am so pleased to hear that Annette’s story resonated with you. You don’t have to do this alone. I hope you’re beginning to experience inside the Masterclass just how valuable the support and connection within a community can be.