When Is The Right Time To Quit Drinking?

by Kate Bee | Jun 15, 2020 | Blog

How do you find the right time to quit drinking? 

Perhaps you’ve dabbled with alcohol-free living, on and off. 

Maybe you spend a lot of time thinking about stopping. 

You love the idea of waking up hangover free… and you know you’ll sleep better, look better, feel great and save tons of money.

You know you need to do something… and yet the moment never feels quite right.

This video is all about finding the right time to quit drinking:

Key points:

There is no such thing as the ‘right time’ to quit drinking

Logically, we all know this, because life is messy. But when we’re about to do something new and out of our comfort zone, it’s easy to drift back into waiting for the ‘right time’ to come along.

Perfect moment vs perfect perspective

We can’t always control our circumstances, but we can control our attitude, our actions and the perspective we choose. It’s the way you interpret what’s happening around you that really matters. 

For every person who thinks a global pandemic is a terrible time to quit drinking, someone else will look at the same situation and decide it’s the perfect moment. It’s all about perspective – so why not choose one that moves you forward?

There will always be a reason to delay

It’s easy to romanticise how things were before or how much easier things might be in the future. But the reality is that there will always be something. If you look for it, you’ll always be able to find a reason why now isn’t the right time.

Ultimately, if your drinking is making you miserable, or you’re worried about it, then this is the right time. And the secret to success? Start before you’re ready. 

If you’d love some help and support to quit drinking, click here for details of my online course.

You Aren’t Weak, Broken Or Lacking Willpower

by Kate Bee | Jun 8, 2020 | Blog

Many people mistakenly believe that sobriety is just about having tons of willpower.

Maybe you’re convinced that if you were stronger, you’d be able to ‘control’ alcohol a bit better.

Perhaps you’ve confided in someone about your drinking, only for them to turn round and say, “Well – why don’t you just stop at one?” 

This stuff can leave you feeling as if your drinking is a personal failing and weakness. 

I get it. It’s a horrible place to be. 

But you aren’t weak at all. I explain why in this video:

Key points:

You’re not weak

If you’re reading this, I’d put money on the fact that you are smart, motivated and driven. You’re juggling many competing demands, between family life, work and the fallout from the coronavirus.

You have to be a strong person to make all that stuff happen whilst feeling hungover and pretending everything’s absolutely fine. 

The real problem

Alcohol is a mind-altering, addictive drug which is normalised, glamorised and often presented as the solution to all your problems, and completely essential to a full and happy life. 

It’s completely normal – and predictable – to become dependent on an addictive drug that is repeatedly presented to you in the most flattering and appealing way.

Successful sobriety isn’t about willpower

Let’s be clear: grit and determination will only get you so far. Long term, happy sobriety is about much more than willpower – it’s about doing the right mindset work.

If you want sobriety to feel less like a punishing diet and more like an empowering way of life, you have to examine the benefits of drinking. Is alcohol genuinely providing everything you think it is? (Hint: it’s not).

Why do you really drink?

The real work of sobriety is looking at why you want to numb out in the first place. Why do you want to escape your life so often? 

Examining this is much more helpful than clinging on to a story (and it is just a story) that you are weak or broken and there’s something wrong with you.

If you’d love some help and support to quit drinking, click here for details of my online course.

But I Just Really Love Drinking Wine

by Kate Bee | Jun 1, 2020 | Blog

“How can I get sober when I love drinking wine? And cocktails? And beer?”

At the height of my drinking career, I asked myself this question a lot.

I knew I needed to stop and I knew cutting down didn’t really work for me. 

I hated the way I felt when I broke the promises I’d made to myself.  

And yet I still loved drinking.

If you’re in a similar position, let’s talk about the best way to move forward:

Key points:

We haven’t always loved alcohol.

It’s important to recognise this. Think back to your first alcoholic drink – what was it like? For me, the taste of wine made me gag. But I pushed on through and learned to tolerate it. 

I taught myself to love it because I was already sold on the idea that drinking was going to make me more relaxed, confident and fun. For many of us, this cultural conditioning is part of our belief system before we’ve even had our first drink.

If it was really about the taste…

We’d have no problem switching to alcohol-free wines and beers. The range available now is terrific. And have you noticed that after a break from drinking, that first glass of wine never tastes quite as good as you remembered?

It’s easy to say, “I just love drinking wine”

It’s much harder to admit the truth: that you have a hard time feeling good enough. Or you find it difficult to relax on your own. Or you struggle to manage the transition from work life to family life. 

Drinking is always about the feelings or benefits you’re chasing. When we cling on to vague statements like, “I just really love drinking!” it’s hard to move forward. It’s a disempowering place to stand in.

When you know what you’re really using alcohol for, the path forward becomes clearer. Then you can start asking, “Ok – how can I do this on my own? What skill do I need to learn or practice?”

If you’d love some help and support to quit drinking, click here for details of my online course.

Why Alcohol-Free Living Creates Choice And Freedom

by Kate Bee | May 25, 2020 | Blog

When I first quit drinking, I kept thinking about everything I’d lost.

I used to wonder – will I ever get used to this? Will it always feel like something is missing? 

I was so caught up in these thoughts I nearly missed what was happening right in front of my eyes. 

Alcohol-free living had (quietly) started to give me more choices than I had before. 

It gave me freedom. Options.

Sobriety isn’t about what you’re losing – it’s about what you’re gaining.

I explain all in this video:

Key points:

Where is your focus?

When we think about sobriety, we naturally tend to zoom in on the thing that’s gone away – the alcohol. Right from the get-go, we’re in a deprivation mindset. We can be so focused on what’s gone and what we’ve lost, we miss the freedom that’s come into our lives in its place.

Practical choices and freedoms

When you’re not drinking, you can spend your money just how you want to, because you don’t have to keep fuelling your habit. You get the option of starting your day right and waking up exactly when you plan to (not at 4am!) 

You can jump in the car at any time of night and call friends without worrying if they can tell you’re drinking. When you’re with others, you have the freedom to be totally focused on the present moment, rather than wondering where your next drink is coming from.

A free mind

When you’re sober, you are free from the decision hell that comes with using a drug like alcohol and trying to control your intake of it. This extra brain space gives you so many choices and options to do more and be the person you want to be. 

Lockdown freedom

Now more than ever, we need to be making lifestyle choices that give us maximum freedom. Alcohol puts you in a little prison – a mini lockdown of its own making, where it takes options away from you. None of us need that.

If you’d love some help and support to quit drinking, click here for details of my online course.

Lovely Little Things About Alcohol-Free Living

by Kate Bee | May 18, 2020 | Blog

There are many things to love about being alcohol-free.

Waking up without a hangover. Having more energy. Less anxiety. Looking better. Feeling proud of yourself.

Those are some of the big benefits. But sometimes, the little things matter just as much. 

I’m talking about the super specific stuff here – the mini moments that perhaps only you would notice. 

This video is all about the little things that make sobriety awesome:

Key points

The little things are the big things

It was Kurt Vonnegut who said, “Enjoy the little things in life because one day you’ll look back and realise they were the big things.” 

Getting up early enough to have a few moments with your partner – or driving to work feeling ready for the day – might sound like little things. But the cumulative effect of these positive, small moments is huge.

Start a list

Put a reminder on your phone to prompt you to write down one thing every day that you love about being alcohol-free. Just one thing. It can be as small or as silly as you like. 

If you take a break from drinking for 6 weeks (which is what I recommend) then by the end, you’ll have 42 things on your list. That is very useful data to have when it comes to deciding what to do next.

If you’re not ready to take a break

Here’s what I suggest: on the days you don’t drink, add something to your list of little things you love about being alcohol-free. But when you do drink, write down – on a separate list – what you love about it.

Sometimes it can feel as if sobriety means giving up so much. But you might be surprised by just how little ends up on your “what I love about alcohol” list. With time, you might see that booze isn’t the only way to get that particular benefit. 

If you joined my stop drinking class with a very specific list of things you love about booze, you’d be way ahead of the game – and we could quickly get to work on tackling those beliefs. My next class starts in July, so you have time to prepare!