Perhaps you keep thinking about taking a break from alcohol.
Maybe you’ve been dabbling with sobriety, on and off, for a while…
You spend a lot of time worrying about your drinking and contemplating quitting.
But you just don’t feel ready yet.
Somehow, it never feels like quite the right time.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. This is exactly how I felt too.
So I wanted to talk about this idea of ‘feeling ready’ in this week’s video.
Key points
Not feeling ready is normal
Taking a break from drinking requires you to do something new and step outside your comfort zone – so your brain will naturally hate that idea. It likes certainty and familiarity. It also wants to protect you from the pain of trying and ‘failing’ at something new.
The “I don’t feel ready yet” trap
By telling yourself that you’re not ready, you will subconsciously keep searching for evidence that proves your point. It feels comfortable to say you’re not ready, because you’re not shutting anything down or ruling anything out. Yet months can slip by like this, leaving you in a state of limbo.
The big secret…
The key to moving forward is understanding that you’re never going to feel ready. There will always be doubts and there will always be reasons to put this off. But you become ready by taking action. Flip your focus and start thinking about why you are ready to take a break from booze. Why could this be the perfect time?
Looking for help and support to make your break from booze a success? Click here to find out more about my online coaching programme.
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For a long time I didn’t want to quit drinking completely.
The idea of total sobriety felt very restrictive to me.
I was certain that if I could just find a way to control my drinking and “moderate properly”, I’d be happy.
Back then, what I didn’t realise is that moderation is actually more restrictive than quitting completely.
Don’t believe me? I explain all in this week’s video.
Key points
Making assumptions
It makes sense that we assume sobriety is depriving, because it’s about cutting something out. It seems as if moderation offers more freedom and the best of both worlds. However, not only does cutting down rarely work, it actually creates a more restrictive way of life than sobriety does.
The moderation fishbowl
Picture yourself inside a fishbowl, but also under the sea. Because you can see through the glass to the rest of the ocean, you don’t recognise that you’re limited by the bowl around you. You think you’ve got the freedom of the ocean… but you haven’t.
Why moderation is more restrictive
When you’re trying to moderate, you’re restricted as to how you live your life. You need to make sure you get your fix of alcohol (so you can be “happy”), but then you need to try to control your intake. Your world revolves around when and where you’ll have your next drink, and whether it’s just the one, or two… or more. This isn’t freedom!
Just imagine…
What if you could drive home from work, knowing that you don’t need to worry about whether or not you’ve got enough wine in the fridge because you’ve figured out another way to relax? Imagine going on date night and having a great time, no matter what liquid is in your glass. How freeing would that be?
Looking for help and support to break out of the moderation trap? My Getting Unstuck course will help you find your freedom. Click here for more details about the next class.
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This summer feels like it’s going to be the first ‘normal’ one in ages.
Travel is back and holidays are on.
Whether you’re going away for a weekend or a few weeks, it can bring up the same question: “How do I do this… sober?!”
You might be curious, nervous or overwhelmed at the thought of an alcohol-free holiday.
So let me show you why it might be the best break you ever take.
Key points
The best kind of upgrade
An alcohol-free holiday is better than travelling in business class and better than getting a big, fancy room with a sea view. None of those ‘upgrades’ matter if you’re a bit out of it and can’t really remember it later. Holidays are about memories and experiences… and alcohol interferes with all of that.
Can’t picture it? No problem
If you’ve always associated holidays with drinking, it makes sense that you’d rather do what you’ve always done. We can have compassion for our brain (which loves certainty and doing the same thing over and over) whilst still choosing to do something different.
Alcohol isn’t the secret to a good trip
Here’s what most people miss: holidays are relaxing in their own right. Reading on a sun lounger is relaxing. Not having to work is relaxing. Being somewhere else, trying out new food, cultures, sightseeing… that is all special and fun in its own right.
So many benefits
An alcohol-free holiday will leave you feeling properly rested with crystal-clear memories. And who knows what else you’ll do or discover about yourself? When you ditch alcohol, you free up space for all kinds of adventures and new experiences.
Looking for help to create an alcohol-free lifestyle that feels good whether you’re at home or on holiday? Click here for details of my online coaching programme.
I don’t want to be guilt tripped, made to feel bad or like I ‘should’ change.
So that probably explains why I’ve been a bit reluctant to share this week’s blog.
I’d much rather inspire, than scare you into quitting drinking.
But… the topic I cover in this week’s video is really important.
Key points
The risks to you
The risks that alcohol poses to you are so wide-ranging – from the risk to your health, to someone smelling alcohol on you or the risk of driving whilst over the limit. The risk of pretending to remember a conversation, saying something you didn’t mean, of hiding your drinks and being caught out.
The risks to others
If you’re drinking several glasses of wine, or a bottle, most nights then over the weeks and the months, that’s a significant portion of the day where you are checked out. If something happens or someone needs you, it’s hard to show up in the way you’d want to.
Why not take a risk on sobriety?
What are the risks that you’re taking with alcohol, day in, day out – and are they worth it? Personally, I decided they weren’t. So I decided to take a different type of risk and step out of my comfort zone by taking a break from booze. I’ve never looked back – it was a risk that truly paid off.
Looking for help and support to create an alcohol-free life you love? Click here to find out more about my Getting Unstuck programme.
Stay sober tonight - listen to my free pep talk!
As well as the audio, we'll also send you helpful and inspiring weekly emails with free resources, tips & advice, plus details of our awesome products and services. We’ll take care of your data in accordance with our privacy policy and you can unsubscribe at any time.
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Why do you want to quit drinking or take a break from booze?
What’s motivating you to do this – or consider it?
You can probably give me a couple of reasons off the top of your head.
But I wonder if there are some other motivators that you haven’t even considered yet?
This week’s video is all about finding your why.
Key points
Finding your why helps you pause
A good why slows you down a bit. It creates a pause before you do something on autopilot. Finding your why won’t magically stop you from drinking, but it opens up a moment for you to think about whether you want to do what you’ve always done – and get the same results – or whether you want to try something different.
You can have more than one why
The idea that you need one momentous, noble and powerful why is a myth. We’re in different moods on different days, so you want to mix and match your whys to fit the needs of the moment. You’re entitled to have reasons for quitting drinking that are very personal and that aren’t particularly deep and meaningful.
Keep things positive
If your whys are painful to hear, you need to ditch them or reword them. “I want to quit because I’m tired of being such a constant disappointment to everyone” is not a good why. We don’t want to be coming up with whys that make us feel terrible – you cannot self-loathe your way into successful sobriety.
Dig a bit deeper
Using the 5 whys technique can help you uncover a why that really resonates. It starts with you asking yourself, “Why do I want to quit drinking?” and answering, “So I can…” Repeat this five times. For example:
– Why do I want to quit drinking? So I can wake up without a hangover.
– Why do I want to wake up without a hangover? So I can start the day feeling good and feeling rested.
– Why do I want to start the day feeling good and feeling rested? So I can feel more confident at work.
– Why do I want to feel more confident at work? So I can feel respected when I’m talking in meetings.
– Why do I want to feel respected when I’m talking in meetings? So I can start speaking up more and going after what I really want.
I’d love to hear what you uncover – let me know one of your whys in the comments below.
Looking for help and support to create an alcohol-free life you love? Click here to find out more about my Getting Unstuck programme.
Download your free Wine O'Clock Survival Guide!
(It’ll help keep you on track tonight)
As well as the guide, we’ll also send you helpful and inspiring weekly emails with free resources, tips & advice, plus details of our awesome products and services. We’ll take care of your data in accordance with our privacy policy and you can unsubscribe at any time.
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