It may only be the first week of November, but at this time of year, there are two types of messages I start to see in my inbox:
“What’s the point of even trying to quit drinking now? It’s going to be too hard – there are too many parties and tempting things coming up that I won’t be able to get through.”
“I’m newly sober… but I’m pretty sure I won’t make it through the holiday season. So why am I putting so much effort in now? I may as well drink already.”
If you’re in one of those two camps and you’re tempted to say “F*** it, what’s the point…?” then this week’s video is for you!
If you’ve already stopped drinking, read this bit
This is for you if you’ve got a few days or weeks of sobriety under your belt and you want to continue that, but you’re feeling wobbly about the upcoming holiday season. Get a calendar and work out how many days there are left between now and the end of the year. If you’re watching this on Monday 6th, we’ve got 55 days left of the year.
Then multiply that number by three, because there are three parts to each day: morning, afternoon and evening. It’s rare that you will have an event on the calendar that’s going to challenge your sobriety all day – from dawn till dusk. Your work Christmas party, for example, is probably just an evening thing, so one section of the day.
Work out how many events you have coming up. Then calculate the percentage of time that’s going to be genuinely challenging for you in the coming weeks. I think you might be surprised by how low that number is! Even if 15% of your time is going to be challenging, that still means that 85% of your time is just going to be normal, regular life.
⭐ Side note here… I’m working on something to help women who’ve already quit drinking have a better sober December, despite all the festive craziness. Are you interested? Let me know here ⭐
If you want to quit, but aren’t ready to stop yet, read this bit
My top tip for you is to start getting really curious about your drinking. Most drinkers are terrible at this and will say things like, “I have no idea why I drink, I should know better!” Or, “I don’t know why I drink, I guess I just need more willpower.” Conversations like that close down an opportunity for learning.
Ask yourself this question: Why does my drinking make sense in this moment? Write down what’s happening and why you feel tempted to hit the fuck it button and drink. For example, “I feel inferior to my friends, so I drank during our lunch together to try to feel better.” Or, “I’ve been stretched thin all week and by Friday night, wine seems the easiest way to wind down.”
This is valuable information. If we’re going to take alcohol away, we need to understand what alcohol has been doing for you. You always drink for a reason. Once we understand what that is, we can look at how else to meet that need and what inner work is required.
In the examples above, we’d need to look at why you don’t feel as good as your friends, or why you don’t give yourself permission to slow down earlier in the week. That’s the kind of work we can do on my Getting Unstuck course – but it all starts with you being curious about your drinking and being willing to explore why it happens.