It’s not very often that I have an epiphany about sobriety whilst watching a romantic comedy 😂
I’d normally be reluctant to take ANY major life lessons from these movies…
But the other day I was watching Bridget Jones’s Diary (the first one and best one, I think)
The relationship between the main characters got me thinking about the way we treat alcohol and sobriety…
Confused? Don’t be! I explain all in this video.
Key points:
Sobriety doesn’t seem very sexy – to begin with
If alcohol and sobriety were cast in a cliched romantic comedy, alcohol would be the bad guy who charms the girl, makes big promises, but ultimately lets her down. Sobriety would be the good guy who doesn’t seem quite so slick and sexy to begin with.
Just think about all the movies where the two main love interests start out hating or overlooking each other. But you know they’re going to get it together. What I’m saying is: sobriety is a major lifestyle upgrade and a great life partner. It just doesn’t seem that way at first!
There’s rarely an ‘ah ha’ moment with sobriety
In most rom coms, there’s a sudden moment of clarity where something dramatic happens. People race off to declare their feelings and make everything right. With alcohol, it’s easy to assume the same will happen – that we’ll suddenly know when it’s time to quit.
The truth is, there’s rarely a moment where all the stars align and you feel certain that you’re ‘doing the right thing’. But that’s ok – it’s normal to be unsure about sobriety. All you really need is a willingness to take a break and get started. Test drive sobriety and see what happens next.
Looking for help and support to create an alcohol free life you love? Click here to find out more about my online coaching programme, Getting Unstuck.
30 responses
I also watched the film again last night and your analogy is spot on. I seem to be treating alcohol as a treat – when I know its not a treat it makes me feel good for a while then awful it lies!
Hi Sue, your comment reminded me of this (Halloween-themed) blog I did a while back about ‘treats’! https://thesoberschool.com/trick-or-treat/
Hope that helps 🙂
Hi yes just watched – so out tonight for a Valentines meal and am going to say the word trick instead of treat for the free glass of Moet! I am sure they will be willing to swap it for lime and soda.
hi Kate after more than a year sober, I had a couple of days on wine whilst on holiday Sept 21, then 3 days drinking at Xmas, I’m Jan 22 the thinking about drinking was back, after battling gave in by end of month and had 4 days on the sauce. Enough, found new quit lit, podcasts and jumped in 22/1/2022, hard at first but started feeling better now, loving your posts that really help me thank you
Great to hear you’re back on track Sharon – keep going 🙂
Sharon,
I know how you are feeling…I was very ill and stopped from Sept to Dec…So well done for the year!!! Thats Fantastic.
I had some over Xmas and new year 4 days maybe then on my Birthday (1st Feb)…Obviously treat not trick in my head!
We can do this !!
I loved this video! So sobriety is like Colin Firth?! That I can get onboard with. I agree with the sentiment entirely. I fell for alcohol but that relationship was doomed from the beginning. Through your course Kate I began to realise that sobriety was a better ‘relationship’ for me and we’ve been together for a while now – almost 6 months to precsise, lol.
Awww, so pleased to hear that you and sobriety have “been together” for 6 months! Seriously – congratulations Alexandra. That’s brilliant ❤️
Yeah! Love the analogy! If I ever feel the need for a drink again, I’ll just think Colin Firth. Lovely Haha. Thanks Kate.
Glad that resonated with you Sue! Should be nice and motivating
Me too!! Love Colin Firth!!
Thanks for the Valentine’s Day sober blog! Love the sober romance I have. ❤️
I love your description of it as a “sober romance” – that’s lovely ❤️
Right on, Kate! That’s a brilliant insight! It’s in my head now to think of alcohol as a toxic love interest! You’re the best. It’ll be 3 years alcohol-free for me in October 2022. You help immensely to keep me on track and in my right t-total mind. Bless you and all the good you do.
Congratulations on your upcoming 3 years Bonnie! I’ve helped you at all in your alcohol free journey, I’m delighted 🙂
Love this analogy. I’m excited to be a new part of the club.
It’s great to have you with us Gail. Welcome! ❤️
Great video Kate, thankyou!
Thanks Annie 🙂
Love this. I do actually think of alcohol as a lousy, crappy ex, who used to take away my self esteem and my dignity, promised me everything and kept letting me down.
I love my relationship with sobriety – makes me feel my best, sobriety always makes sure I get home safe, never hurts me.
Sobriety has never let me down.
“Sobriety has never let me down.” I love that Carla. No one ever regret waking up hangover free, that’s for sure ❤️
Love this message so much. And your analogy is so spot on. Thanks, Kate Bee!
I’m glad it resonated Allison! ❤️ We all deserve a great relationship, with sobriety 🙂
For me sobriety is when the main character of the movie managed to go through a lot of bad stuff, now standing at a viewpoint, looking curious and with determination at the new path laying ahead of her. Almost 4 months now, glad I bought the ticket for this show.
I love that analogy Claudia! Thank you 🙂
Ive just started my journey and im gradually breaking away, just had 2 glasses last night and again foolishly thought ide wake up ok… NO i didnt. And like you said i keep reapeating the same pattern, stop for a few days then i start again. Im drinking less and less and it still gives me a headache in the morning.. Tonight i stop
Hi Lisa – taking a proper break from drinking would be a great next step for you. The first few days and weeks are some of the hardest, but then things get much better – and you deserve to reach that point, right? If you need any help to take a break and actually enjoy alcohol free living, here’s the link for my next online course: https://thesoberschool.com/course/
A brilliant analogy, dear Kate, and one of your best videos! I am loving the comments here too. I adore my sober life and have always had a crush on Mark Darcy, so the two will go hand-in-hand for me from now on! Thanks for all you have done for me, Kate. The day I found The Sober School in February 2018 was the day my life truly changed!! After 4 decades of steady drinking, I am 3 years sober now, except for a few slip-ups with Daniel Cleaver (wink) that just helped me get stronger and more focused. Much love to you, dear Kate, on Valentine’s Day. And a big hug for all the wonderful women here, on the sober path!
I keep hoping for a magic wand that I could wave and not even want a glass of wine (who am I kidding it’s never just a glass)
I read and listened to loads of your blogs in late summer and stopped drinking for a while but it didn’t last – it’s all around us – lent is coming up and although I’m not religious any more it seems like a good place to start perhaps
Kate I love this analogy! Thanks for helping me to breakup with that good-for-nothing Daniel Cleaver and fall in love with wonderful Mark Darcy. No more drunken office parties or bad karaoke for me, thanks to your Getting Unstuck Course. 20 months sober!!