The seasons are changing and that back-to-school vibe is well and truly here…
If you’ve been drinking more than you planned to over the past few months, now is as good a time as any to turn over a new leaf and get back on track.
But successful sobriety isn’t just about crossing your fingers and hoping for the best – so today I’m sharing three key tips to help you have a successful sober September 🍁
Keypoints
Tip 1: Just have one goal
I know how tempting it is to try and do it all. Maybe you also want to lose weight and get fitter and cook more meals from scratch and meditate every day and do yoga and a juice cleanse. But if you put pressure on yourself to do everything at once, you’ll end up giving up on it all before we’re halfway through the month.
I have lots of successful clients who’ve lost weight and run marathons since quitting drinking, but they didn’t do it all at once. They gave themselves permission to focus on one thing at a time, and wait until sobriety felt a bit easier before adding anything else into the mix.
Tip 2: Be patient
Trust that how you feel in the early days of sobriety is not how it’s going to be for the rest of time. Early sobriety does require some effort and commitment to get going – but it gets so much easier with time, I promise.
After a couple of tough days it will be tempting to say, “I’m not cut out for this – I can’t continue with this forever.” But it won’t be hard forever. If your kids or grandkids are starting at a new school this month, I’m sure you’d reassure them that it won’t be strange and awkward forever – they’ll settle in!
Tip 3: Think about what your drinking tells you
Behind every craving for alcohol is an unmet need – so your drinking tells you quite a lot about what you need. You might be using alcohol as a shortcut for relief, comfort or escape from overwhelm. Whatever it is, you want to know about it.
This matters because in sobriety you want to be sure you’re thinking about that unmet need and addressing it. For example, if pouring a glass of wine is the only thing you do for yourself all day and it feels like a treat, then you’ve got to replace that ritual with something. Or if drinking feels like rebelling and sticking two fingers up to the world – find some other way of doing that!
Ready to create an alcohol-free life you love? Click here to learn more about my Getting Unstuck course.
6 responses
Wonderful video to welcome September, the fall, and the security of AF living. Many thanks to Kate, telling the truth! Being retired does make a huge difference in perspective, but I have found that simple focus and patience are easier on everyone around as well as oneself. I keep it to less than three goals, two of them the same, daily. People do react to how they see you. Even children pick up on a pleasant, calm aura. Changing topics: I listened to the AA recording and totally agree with Kate. Many years ago I was required (by the court) to attend quite a few AA meetings. NEVER was the cause of anyone’s drinking addressed, that I heard. The individual was blamed regardless, esp. the no willpower idea. Thus, at the end of the meeting folks were sneaking around, feeling worse, inadequate, born deficient, etc. with alcohol having the last word! (Who could get a word in anyway!) The Sober School and lack of hassle of drinking is well worth it all.
Thank you for your thoughtful reflection. Your calm, steady approach really shines through and it’s lovely to hear how much ease AF living has brought into your life. And yes, the difference between shame based models and actually understanding why we drink is huge. So glad you consider The Sober School a kinder, clearer approach. 🙂
Are 0% AF permitted – I have found a cider I like but it’s 0.03% and I feel I have been cheating
Drinks at 0.5% or less are generally considered to be alcohol free. This is how it’s defined in most countries so I wouldn’t consider the cider a cheat.
I think that ultimately, this is a personal decision and it really comes down to what feels right for you. Some of this stuff isn’t logical – it’s just a gut feeling. I know plenty of people who prefer to buy AF beers that are 0.05% or less. Other people like the taste of these drinks and aren’t bothered by half a percent. After all, you couldn’t get drunk on 0.5% ABV even if you wanted to. I hope that helps reassure you a little.
Inspirational words to start September, motivating and reassuring and for me not only apply to alcohol but to life going forward. For many reasons alcohol has never been my friend and it is truly serendipitous that I found your Instagram page. Thank you Kate
Hi Glynn, You are most welcome. I’m really glad it resonated with you. It’s lovely to hear that you’re enjoying the blog and my Instagram posts, and even better that the words are helping you beyond alcohol too.