When it comes to measuring success, your sober day count isn’t the only thing that matters.
Yes – we love to celebrate sobriety milestones and anniversaries. But there’s something else that’s just as important… your sober wins!
I’m talking about successes big and small that you notice at all stages of the journey.
I hear about them all the time inside The Sober School community and today I want to share a few of them with you…
Why this matters
We all have a tendency to brush past the things that are going well. Celebrating your sober wins – particularly the small ones – is crucial for long-term success! If you’re trying to quit drinking all on your own, it can be hard to picture what’s coming down the track… so I hope it’s helpful and inspiring to hear about these sober wins, big and small:
Getting fitter
“I lifted weights for the first time in about 6 months and OH MY GOD 🤯 It’s so much easier when you’re sober.” – Marine
“My ability at Pilates and ballet is so improved by being sober for 6 months. I can balance better and am more energetic. It’s just such an enhanced life without booze.” – Marjorie
Increased patience
“I did something this afternoon I would never have done while drinking: I actually spent an hour learning a new piece of technology. Before, I would’ve spent 5 minutes, got it only part-way, and thought, ‘That’s good enough!’ Today, sober, I actually watched the training videos and learned the ins and outs of it. It’s a small thing, but increased patience and focus is of the many ways sobriety rocks!” – Mandy
Being dependable
“I was able to go and collect my friend’s dogs from her at 1.00am when their house started flooding. The feeling of being able to support her in a dire situation (and drive in the dark 🤣) was amazing” – Helen
Looking better
“Yesterday I went out for a walk without wearing foundation. I have rosacea and alcohol really makes it worse which was one of my reasons for going alcohol free. My skin after 7 weeks of no booze plus a little medication means the redness has massively subsided.” – Katrina
Quality family time
“Spent a weekend with my daughter in London. We went to a beautiful concert in a church last night, then for a lovely meal and then walked around arm in arm. For once this wasn’t about her holding me up! She was so proud I didn’t drink and when we talked about things I felt really present and connected.” – Hazel
“I told my son about my decision to quit drinking, I left it this long so I could be sure of my commitment as it has been an issue between us. I didn’t know how much I was going to share with him, but I was really honest and he was so proud.” – Jackie
What’s your sober win?
Let me know in the comments: what’s your sober win this week? It doesn’t matter whether it’s big or small… or whether you’re a few days or a few months into this… I’d love to hear about the sober wins that get you excited.
38 responses
My sober win this week was this:
I have a special needs adult child. [41]!
Ashley wanted to wear flip flops to church yesterday. I volunteered to polish her toe nails!!!
I never offered such a “simple task” while in and out of drinking. I am so grateful to be productive & sober.
A beautiful and sober victory for you and your child. Having extra patience truly is a blessing. ❤️
I was feeling very tempted to drink on the warm summer day with no where to have “fun”.
Hubby and I went out and found the best Chinese restaurant and had a lovely dinner without any alcohol.
I was so happy and it felt so good to be sober and present in the moment.
It was far better than sitting on the beach drinking alcohol and going nowhere.
Absolutely Ann, it’s a wonderful reinterpretation of a delightful summer day spent connecting with your husband and savouring a tasty meal together. 🙂
I celebrated my 1000 AF anniversary on July 27. Wow! I am so proud of that accomplishment and eager fro the next 1000. Thank you Kate and your wonderful Sober School. I received so much support and understanding from your program. So much gratitude. Has changed the quality of my life and my temperament. Thank you!!
That’s fantastic to hear, many congratulations! Alcohol-free living is the absolute best way to live, whatever the season. 🙂
My sober win is reaching out and taking the first step to admitting I need some help and guidance in this, day one today!!
That is a big win Kath, so well done for taking that first step. There’s plenty of free help and support available on my website and here’s another blog of mine that I think will resonate as you begin your journey to alcohol freedom: https://thesoberschool.com/good-enough/
Yesterday was the start of another “day 1.”
I had a bottle of wine in the fridge that had about 3 sips left in it. At about 6:30 I drank those three sips and was about to get another bottle and paused, played the night forward, and stopped myself. I woke up at 1:30 AM so proud and elated that I didn’t go get more wine. Normally, once I give in, I feel it’s too late for that day and keep going. That’s a big win for me. Today is day 2!!
Congratulations Patti! I call the technique you used “playing the movie forward”. Imagining the closing scenes of your drinking movie when you’ve caved once again and consumed a whole bottle of wine, is a powerful visualisation tool that works. Mindset is everything when you’re changing patterns of ingrained behaviour and that’s exactly what I teach in my online coaching programme that opens again in September: https://thesoberschool.com/course/
My first sober concert last week. Bruce Springsteen was electrifying and I didn’t need to have had a drink to feel the energy at Wembley and get up and dance.
I recently attended a Springsteen concert as well – there was no need for extra adrenaline; the energy he and the band created in the venue was more than sufficient! ❤️
Day one – went for a walk in my danger time (5pm) with my partner. Now back having a 0% Peroni. All alcohol cleared out of the fridge
Fantastic first day of planning and sober wins! Incorporating fun activities in place of usual triggers is a vital shift in routine that aids in establishing healthier habits. Keep going Jenny 🙂
Yesterday I had two bottles of wine throughout the day. During this time I felt relaxed and chilled . However today I feel sluggish and can’t remember the end of the day ☹️ so no alcohol today. I’m sitting in the garden and reading through your blogs. I’ve done 4 months in the past due to being told by my GP that I had liver damage. I can and I Will do it again X
Your win today is acknowledging the desire to change your relationship with alcohol for the sake of your health, and that’s a cause for celebration. I have coached thousands of women from diverse backgrounds, with various drinking histories and family dynamics, across the globe, and I can help you as well Tracey. Consider listening to the testimonials from some of my former students about my Getting Unstuck online course.: https://thesoberschool.com/success-stories/
Thank you . I have read them. I think I have signed up for the next course in September
This is very inspiring but I feel very apprehensive. My teeny tiny win is that a significant change is occurring in my mindset – I want to be OK and realise that I have to take a larger than teeny tiny step to make that happen. Wish me luck!
The very fact you are listening to my blogs shows a commitment to change, that’s a huge win! Mindset is crucial when aiming to initiate change, and I’m confident that you can achieve results based on action, not luck. There’s no need for apprehension; I simply recommend a six-week break from drinking, accompanied by support and coaching from my team and myself, along with an open mind. No commitment to quit forever as I describe in a previous blog post here: https://thesoberschool.com/quit-drinking-forever/
I attended a family birthday which is usually full of alcohol and I didn’t drink at all. I’m only on day 4 but going to try my hardest to stick to being af
Four days is a great beginning, and I’m sure you feel much better the day after the family birthday than those who indulged in drinking. Quitting drinking doesn’t have to be hard; I can guide you on how to quit without being miserable or feeling like you’re missing out. My online coaching program is exclusively for women and will start again in September. https://thesoberschool.com/course/
My tiny win is that I’m on day 14 sober and today is the first day I haven’t gone back through my diary and recounted the number of sobet days ‘just to check’!
Kate, your videos are so inspirational, thank you.
Diana
Congratulations Diana, this is a perfect example of habit change becoming the new normal. Keep going, it gets easier and easier from now on…
Early days for me on my AF journey. Used my sewing machine for a couple of hours after dinner this evening. Realised I’d usually be contemplating opening a second bottle of wine by now. Hopefully this is the first of many small wins.
An engaging hobby or pastime serves as the perfect antidote to a harmful one. Celebrating each victory, big or small, encourages you to continue in the same vein.
I can now go to bed each night and lose myself in a good book. I had lost the pleasure of reading for so long because I was going to bed after drinking a bottle of wine. I have rediscovered the joy of reading and that means the world to me. Only 2 weeks in but a lifetime of books ahead of me!
Fabulous Carol, love that! ❤️ Immersing yourself in a great book is an excellent way to escape and divert attention from a negative habit.
I’m feeling very grateful thank god we had all Ireland hurling final and really enjoyed I have learnt to be very positive and mind my own family and keeping away from negativity as that’s what made me use alcohol. I am so so grateful to Kate and all her teammates and colleagues for being where I am now. Thank you.
After almost 5 years AF, I’m still discovering little sober wins. I like to get henna tattoos at a music festival I attend annually. Because in the past I’ve usually been drinking there, I invariably messed up the design almost immediately and wasted my money. So, I stopped getting them. This year I decided to try again, convinced I could finally pay attention and take care of it until it dried. I not only made it through the 4 hours that was recommended, but I made it 9 hours, and it came out awesome!
These are the kinds of sober victories I’m referring to, Dove. Thank you for sharing your unique sober win!
Having gone through family birthdays AF with no problems, I was a bit worried about going on holiday and not drinking. But I found that I was sleeping so well and loved being able to get up early with the to sit outside in the morning sun and relish the peace and relaxation, and had lots of energy to get out and explore each day.
Yes Hannah, alcohol-free holidays are the best because you actually get to experience everything fully and come home truly rested – here’s no finer way to enhance a vacation. ❤️
5 years on, and many bereavements, coping with grief is much easier when sober. I drank my way through my mother’s death 8 years ago but my father’s last year, and then sister 5 months later were very different, very acute, but I was there for my family rather than burrowing into my own grief and smothering myself with booze.
It took a few months for me to see this as my grief for my father took a while to abate, but I realised that it was different as I was sober and aware this time.
In the end, this grief has been growth rather than endless sorrow.
I’m sorry to hear of your family bereavements, but comforted that in sobriety they are somewhat easier to bear. My experience of working with thousands of women is that staying alcohol-free and letting strong emotions be felt works better than using alcohol that puts you into a ‘freeze’ state where you don’t process your feelings. This results in the grief getting stuck, and experiencing it intensely over and over again. The value of a sober win that eases your mental wellbeing cannot be underestimated. ❤️
On day three and already waking up feeling refreshed. Yesterday it got to 4pm and I kept thinking I’d love a glass of wine later, but then read the blog about having to start day 1 over again. Even though last night I was out with lots of people drinking I decided to drive that way making my choices easier.
Feeling pleased .
Hi Tracey, That is brilliant. Well done! Making the decision in advance not to drink really does make choices easier. Feel very pleased and proud of yourself.
On Day 2, after many false starts over the years but determined this time to become AF.
My win today was a bumped our car, only a little bump this morning & I would normally have wine to console myself but I haven’t, instead I’ve listened to your blog & read everyone’s comments here & am feeling positive instead.
A long way to go but thank you
Hi Sue, Great win. Alcohol will not fix the bump, just leave you feeling worse about it. Keep going and keep that positivity and determination.