What’s the story you tell yourself the most often?
I’ve noticed that many of the women who are drawn to my work are very good at doing this:
– Judging themselves
– Telling untrue stories about their capabilities
– Thinking negative thoughts
– Beating themselves up
So… not exactly the kind of skills you’d boast about on your CV, right?!
Many of us mistakenly believe we can shame ourselves into changing our behaviour, but we can’t.
The real secret to change is to examine your thoughts and start telling the other side of the story…
I explain all in this video:
Beliefs are just thoughts we practice over and over
We can choose our thoughts and the story we have about ourselves. We can pick stories that are unhelpful and keep us stuck, or choose ones that help us take action and feel better.
Examples of story reframes:
“Lockdown means it’s too hard for me to quit drinking at this time.”
↪“Drinking through lockdown is also hard.”
↪“I’ve already drunk through two lockdowns and it didn’t make me feel good.”
↪“Not drinking is caring for myself. Caring for myself makes the tough times easier.”
“I’ve quit drinking but I still have all the same problems as before, so what was the point?”
↪“I’m an action taker who doesn’t waste time waiting for the perfect moment to come along.”
↪“I’m someone who can get stuff done despite having less than perfect circumstances.”
↪“I choose not to drink through problems and make things worse.”
↪“Sobriety will never fix all my problems, but it gives me the space to work on them.”
“I’m only doing well right now because we’re in lockdown and I’m not tempted by nights out.”
↪“I’m a pretty amazing person because I’m nailing my sobriety during lockdown – a time when many other people can’t even contemplate doing this.”
↪“I’ve figured out how to not drink at home. When the time comes to socialise again, I’ll be able to figure that out as well.”
Successful and happy sobriety isn’t just about not drinking. It’s about learning how to manage your mind and have a better relationship with yourself. These negative stories might feel true to you, but it’s only because you’ve practised them a lot. Your brain is used to looking for the negative.
What’s the other side of your story?
If there’s an unhelpful thought you keep dwelling on, how could you reframe that? What would you say if you were going to talk yourself up for once? How would it feel to choose a kinder thought? When you feel good, your chance of success increases.
💜 Need a dose of motivation? 💜
Grab a copy of my 20 affirmations to support your sobriety – they’re empowering statements to stand by when you’re questioning your decision to quit👇