“Alcohol has been my best friend for years.”
I saw this comment on one of my blog posts recently and it got me thinking.
There was definitely a time in my life when I thought the same thing. Wine truly felt like a friend. When all else failed, there was always booze.
But it was a toxic friendship… and that’s what I’m talking all about in this video.
Key points
Alcohol is a terrible best friend
It really doesn’t care about you. It doesn’t have your back. Just think of all the times when you’ve turned to alcohol for comfort and reassurance… and in return, it’s left you feeling anxious and depressed. Or the times when alcohol convinced you that you were so funny and you were left cringing afterwards. How often has alcohol stolen your time, energy, joy, peace or memories?
Start questioning your relationship
If any of your real life friends behaved in the way alcohol does, you’d quickly re-evaluate the relationship, right? It’s time to start doing that here. Notice how often you slip into talking alcohol up, even when it’s quietly tearing you down. If you’ve been thinking of alcohol as a friend – as a comfort and crutch that you rest on – then it’s time to start questioning that relationship.
Friendships change
At some point or another you’ve probably had a real life friendship that came to an end. People change, grow and move on all the time. If you’re reading this, I suspect you might have outgrown alcohol. So perhaps it’s time to acknowledge that and find a new best friend: sobriety. Now that is a best friend you can really count on. It really does have your back.
Looking for help and support to create an alcohol-free life you love? Click here to find out more about my Getting Unstuck coaching programme.
22 responses
I have completely changed my relationship with wine. I no longer run home hoping we have some in, or getting some just in case. I can go out for a meal and say I’ll drive, and have soft drinks without any problem. Everyone is really proud of me, and you are a lot to thank for that. Everything you say is true as if you read my mind. Thank u, I look forward to hearing from you even if I am silent at this end.
That’s brilliant to hear and well done on changing your relationship with alcohol – it doesn’t serve you. Listening to my free pep talk helps to curb any cravings. https://thesoberschool.com/pep-talk
Please keep sending me these great videos…..such great reminders to share…
going on my 4th month being alcohol free, and this time
there is no turning back….
happier, healthier in everyday….
great having cognitive, mental and physical health back..
thank you Kate
Congratulations! 🙂 Alcohol only offers you a happy hour, sobriety gives you a happy life!
I’m on day 8 of sobriety after drinking every night for over 20 years your posts are helping with my cravings thank you
Well done Debbie, every journey starts with a single step in the right direction. You’re on the right path, so have a listen to some of my previous students success stories for extra inspiration: https://thesoberschool.com/success-stories/
Wine is not my best friend, wine is my enemy. I think I have a problem.
Ready to make a change to a toxic relationship? It can be a lonely journey when you’re doing this on your own. If you need any more support, my online coaching programme would be a great fit for you. Here are some more details: https://thesoberschool.com/course/
My days are taking up nursing hangovers, the rest of my day is spent thinking about wine. I just can’t switch it off. It constantly talks to me.
That’s why I recommend taking a six week break from drinking in a supported environment, whilst educating yourself on what alcohol can and cannot do for you. My Getting Unstuck course looks at the truth about alcohol and ‘gets you unstuck’ from the endless cycle of drink, regret, repeat. Don’t just take my word for it, listen to some of my previous students’ stories here: https://thesoberschool.com/success-stories/
Alcohol and I have officially broken up. I am 82 days sober and it sure as he’ll better not come knocking at my door again! EVER !!!
Keep that door firmly shut Claudia – fantastic to hear you’ve broken up for good, you deserve a better life than alcohol can offer. ❤️
Loved your ‘pep talk’ ! So down to earth and full of genuine understanding. Been 7 months now , lots of firsts…Christmas, New Year, Birthday, Anniversary, holiday with ‘virgin ‘ cocktails …can’t say cravings don’t reappear at usual evening time but once passed (sometime easier than others) the pride and self respect and sense of freedom massively outweigh those moments.
Thank you for taking the time to help others. Would be so much harder doing this alone.
Thanks also to others for sharing their journeys.
You’re welcome Dee and congratulations on 7 months of ‘sober firsts’. These are the times when you realise you don’t need alcohol to have fun or celebrate. 🙂
Thank you for this
Thank you for this video. It really speaks volumes! It’s so helpful the way you break things down and seem so relatable. It’s early days for me, but I’m so pleased I found your account. I know you’re going to be a huge help!
Welcome to my sober corner of the internet! In the early days, my free pep talk may be just what you need to stay on track. So pop in your headphones and have a listen: https://thesoberschool.com/pep-talk
Hi Kate I’m new to sober school and currently sober curious I would say. I am someone who doesn’t drink in the week and not always at the weekend. I can even stop after one but I can definitely say I do drink when I am stressed or when I feel I ‘deserve’ a glass of wine. Every so often (once every 6 months) I seem to have a complete blow out and lose control drinking copious amounts of Prosecco and losing all ability to make sensible decisions about how much to drink. Again I know this is because I want to blow off steam as a busy mum. These occasions are a big issue because I can not have a hangover with two small children and a job and busy life.
I would like to eliminate any risk of this and really like the idea of being able to say ‘I don’t drink’ I loved pregnancy because I had an excuse not to drink.
My main concern however, is social events. I have weddings, concerts and even a hen do this summer. I can not imagine not drinking as I am so conditioned to associate alcohol with having fun. I’m also concerned about my relationships. As on reflection most of my relationships are based around alcohol – girls nights, nights in with hubby, even school mum nights. I’m also worried about peer pressure and people feeling I’m boring.
My mum has been sober a year now and I see the amazing benefits so would really like this to be me 🙂
Hi Sophie, When we practice doing something a certain way it’s hard to imagine doing it differently, but it is totally possible. It’s absolutely possible to go to a wedding, a concert and even a hen do, not drink alcohol and dance the night away having a wonderful time. I have a blog here I think will help you: https://thesoberschool.com/cant-imagine-socialising-sober-focus-on-this/
I so appreciate you !
Hi Kate,
Thank you for these videos, they truly are so helpful to me! I know I have a problem with alcohol because I get up in the morning saying I’m not going to drink today but by the time afternoon comes I’m ready to have a drink again. My problem is that I really enjoy drinking but I know I drink too much and once I start I don’t want to stop. Your videos help and you give such wise information! Thank you!
Hi Rose, Breaking that cycle of promise, negotiation and regret is exactly what my Getting Unstuck course does. It will transform your mindset, so you can quit (or take a proper break from booze) and feel great about it. Check out these stories from some of my previous students: https://thesoberschool.com/success-stories/