How do you know it’s definitely time to quit?
When I was struggling with my drinking, I spent years trying to answer that question.
I was expecting one really clear sign to come along and hit me in the face. Then I’d know for sure, right?
But if you’re a grey area drinker like I was, that big, obvious, crystal clear moment doesn’t always arrive. Life isn’t that straightforward.
So how do you know when enough is enough? If you’re looking for help to confirm – or dismiss – your own suspicions about your drinking, let’s talk about the subtle signs your drinking needs to change.
Key points
Sign 1 – You keep crossing lines that you’ve set for yourself
Think about those boundaries you’ve put in place around your drinking – the ones that felt right and that you stuck to for ages. Maybe it’s never drinking Monday to Wednesday. Or never drinking before 6pm. Perhaps it’s never drinking between shifts at work. Or staying sober if you’re with your grandkids.
We all have rules that we follow, perhaps unconsciously at first – but you might notice, over time, that those boundaries are changing. Suddenly, you’re making exceptions for yourself and what was once unthinkable is starting to become the norm. Notice this shift – it’s an alarm bell.
Sign 2 – You’re spending a lot of time worrying about your drinking
This one’s huge. You’re thinking about it constantly, turning it over in your mind. You’re googling things about drinking. Buying books on Amazon that you don’t actually read. Taking online quizzes about your alcohol consumption. It’s just on your mind… a lot.
Notice this and trust yourself. You know yourself better than anyone. You’re the expert in your own life. If something’s persistently worrying you, if something feels like a problem, it probably is a problem. Sometimes we forget that if something is causing us ongoing worry, that alone is reason enough to change.
Sign 3 – You’re hiding your drinking
Of all the signs your drinking needs to change, this is the one that can feel the most shameful. Maybe it’s a few sneaky gulps when no one’s looking so you can get that little bit extra. Or it could be whole glasses, even bottles, that you’re having quietly. Empties that need disposing of discreetly. Drinks poured into mugs or downed quickly before your partner gets home.
If you live alone, maybe you leave social events early sometimes so you can go home and drink properly, the way you actually want to. If you’re hiding your drinking in any way, that’s really important information. It shows there’s a tension within you between what you view as acceptable and where your drinking actually is right now.
Here’s your next step
If any of these signs struck a chord with you, now might be a good time to experiment with alcohol-free living. To help you get started, I’ve created a free Take A Break From Booze Masterclass. I’ll show you exactly how to stop drinking in a way that feels good and empowering (not like a punishment.) Sign up below to register for free.
6 responses
The sign it took for me to see that enough was enough with my boozing was an extreme one. Moments after 9am one workday, suddenly out of nowhere lost the vision in my left eye. Blotted out in a grey cloud that just sprouted, it was like one of those blotches that you see affecting old movie reels from 100 years ago. Terrified, I went to a mirror to see – with my still functioning right eye – if I had an injury that I didn’t know about to the left, blinded one. With nothing looking wrong, no eye disease that i know of and no history of eye problems to explain it either, I wondered what the cause of the sudden blindness was, if it was permanent and if the mystery-blindness would spread to my right eye any moment now. Never having experienced anything like it before, not knowing what the cause of the blindness was and therefore lost for what to do to stop it or get my vision back, I found it the scariest thing to go through. Needless to say it was a massive relief when vision in my left eye returned just as suddenly as it was lost about 2 minutes later
To this day, my examining doctor still doesn’t know what caused the Grey Cloud Blotch blindness and says I was very lucky the vision in my left eye came back explaining that usually, when this happens to people, it doesn’t. For me, I “connect the dots” between the scary loss of vision that day and the devastation 20 years of boozing has wrought on my body and physical health. I stopped boozing that day and haven’t had any alcohol since. In the months which have followed, an ultrasound had confirmed that I have fatty liver disease now thanks to my boozing career. I still wonder if the high cholesterol that goes along with fatty liver caused me to have stroke that day
All up, in a word from the wise to anyone who might be receptive to listening, it’s better not to wait til you “bottom out” or have an extreme sign like I did before you stop. I look back with regret at the 20 years I spent gleefully destroying myself with this socially-acceptible poison
What a health scare! I’m so glad to hear your vision returned quickly.
You’re absolutely right that alcohol is a toxin with no health benefits, so choosing to stop drinking is definitely the best decision for your health and happiness.
Wishing you continued good health and recovery. 🙂
Will there be replays or will you be offering this free break from booze again. We will be having a houseful of company on these dates. Thank you.
Hi Judy, the key lessons in the masterclass are Netflix-style, on-demand videos that you can watch (and rewatch) at a time that suits you. Everything in the masterclass will be online and available to watch for around a week, so you’ll have time to catch up on anything you can’t watch immediately. 🙂
Hi Kate, Your messages ring so true to me. I did all of these things. I would hide it from my wife in our garage. It was really a red flag in the mornings when I couldn’t recall where I hid my bottles. And the rules I once followed for drinking were becoming non existent. I never drank in the morning, but I was finding that I got to the point where I needed to have a drink(s) in the morning to stop my hands from shaking. After 27 months, I had a 3 month relapse, thinking I should be a normal drinker ….that was not the case!! I currently have 137 days sober and I enjoy my sober life … my thinking is so much more rational. Thank you for doing what you do!
I have binged with alcohol for most of my adult life, I’ve taken long breaks from it and really felt I could at last drink responsibly (if there is ever such a thing). Last night I drank way over what I would normally consume, went to my local pub alone, bought drinks for complete strangers, fell over in the kitchen when I got home, banged my head and then whilst lying on the floor, threw up. I am so disgusted that I did that to myself, but I’m also happy that I’m alive and now I get to choose NEVER to harm myself like that again. My friends laughed it off and I made a joke of how drunk I was but writing it down has driven home the extent of the dangers of alcohol, not to mention the anxiety, shame, palpitations, stomach upset and inability to calm my nervous system down. This ends now. I want better for myself. I’m so grateful to have found this resource, thank you.