Kate's Blog

Doubting Your Decision To Quit? Focus On This Instead

I used to question my decision to quit drinking all the time.

When I was hungover, I’d feel so motivated for a few hours, or maybe even a few days. Sometimes I’d stop for several weeks.

But then the doubts would creep in. 

I’d start to wonder whether I really needed to stop. Would it even be worth it? 

When you’re questioning your decision to quit, managing your mind becomes really important. 

This video is all about what to focus on when you’re on the verge of giving up.

Key points:

Doubting your decision to quit

Most of us accidentally give a lot of energy to our doubts and fears. They become the soundtrack to our lives. Change is hard when our focus is always on why this won’t work and whether it’ll be worth it.

Switching your focus

A belief is just a thought you’ve practised over and over again. You can choose to continue practising the old, unhelpful thoughts that have you constantly doubting your decision to quit… or you can consciously put your attention on something else. 

Download all 20 affirmations here!

See which ones resonate with you the most and then write them down. Put them on sticky notes, on your phone screensaver, or set them as reminders to pop up at different times of day. Make sure you see them often!


You can go to bed tired because you’ve spent the day recovering from a hangover and questioning your decision to quit drinking. Or you can go to bed tired because you’ve been practising some different thoughts and trying out a more empowering set of beliefs. 

If you’d like some help and support to create an alcohol-free life you love, click here for details of my online course.

Hi, I'm Kate

I founded The Sober School to show you there’s another way out of your shame that doesn’t involve AA or rehab. 


31 responses

  1. I love mantras and I really like the idea of setting some of these as phone reminders. I am struggling at the moment and hoping to do your course in January.

    1. I look forward to working with you then Lucy. In the meantime, there are plenty of videos and resources on this site for you to explore. Keep going – it’s so worth it! 🙂

    2. I really just appreciate this boost to keep going. Here I was having to remind myself tonight that one drink is too many for me, and getting pretty discouraged. My hubby drinks almost daily, and it can be a temptation from time to time. But I am so happy that I’m on the path to being free from the clutches of alcohol. 66 days down, and still going. Thank you for the helpful hand to keep climbing and to not give up now.

    3. Lucy, me too. I’m struggling at the moment even though I know in my heart that it’s the right thing to do. I’ve also registered for the course in January so hope to see you there !

  2. My favourite affirmation on your list is “Life is easier when I stay alcohol free”. For a long time I told myself that sobriety was too hard and I didn’t have time for it. But I’m currently 6 weeks AF (thanks to your course!) and my life is so much easier… even in the middle of a pandemic and lockdown! I like having an easy life!

  3. Thank you Kate!
    I do want to take and LOVE myself, so I’ll be much more HAPPY!
    Today I focus on this one.

  4. Day 17 of no alcohol for me, I don’t fancy one now either. I don’t think I’m wanting to stop completely but happy that I’ve cut back for now. I’ll see how I get on.
    Thanks for all the advice.

  5. Hi Kate, you were the first resource I found when I was considering an AF life. I’m now 7 months AF & have zero regrets surrounding my decision to break up with booze. Every year, I put together a desk calendar for my extended family using the previous year’s photos. The photos of me from Jan-Mar (when I was drinking heavily) don’t look a whole lot different than the AF ones from April-today, but I know that I was usually buzzed, hungover and mentally kicking myself in the earlier photos. When I look at the more recent photos, I was fully present, living in the moment and not beating myself up for poor choices. Thanks for your support and inspiration!

    1. Congratulations on your 7 months AF Amy! 2020 has been a strange year and a challenging one for many of us… but you’re going to come out of it having achieved something truly brilliant. Well done.

  6. These motivations / reminders are great….thank you….I have written a few of my own too. I’m so glad this support is here. So many Day Ones for me …but now I’m ready to totally break up this poisonous relationship I have with alcohol. I’m angry that I’ve wasted so much time drinking / thinking about drinking …but no more….It’s time for me to make a couple of very big changes to my life…I’m starting with ditching the alcohol completely so I can see my way more clearly…this is my priority

    1. I’m glad this resonated with you Lynn! Be proud of the fact that you’re here, doing this work now. You’re changing your future 🙂

  7. This has come at a great time. I’m 71 days sober and Started this with no plan or expectations. Now I am I’m questioning if it’s now time for a drink or do I really want to put all that hard work to waste, will I stay sober forever now? This is going to be so helpful and I’m definitely going to give it a good go! Thanks Kate 🙂

    1. Congratulations on your 71 days Helen! I’m glad this resonated with you. You have haven’t come this far to only come this far 🙂

  8. I liked your comment about how to use instead of the energy in thinking about drinking when how etcinto energy for other more positive thoughts

  9. I love the confirmation Drinking steels your happiness from your tomorrow. Thankyou I will put all you comments into practice.

  10. I can sit with those uncomfortable feelings. They always pass.
    Lately I have been trying to allow myself to feel. Even it is painful. I’m learning to feel rather than numb myself with alcohol every day

  11. My favourite is ‘life is easier when I stay alcohol free’ I think because it reminds me that all the things that I really enjoy like spending time with my kids or listening to a radio play with my husband or taking the dog out for a nice long walk are just there to access when I don’t drink but not when I do. Kate – thank you so much for your blogs and videos – I feel like you’ve given my family and I back time that we never realised we had lost. I love not drinking. I’m still yet to go more than three months though (this year – I did 12 months a few years ago and it was amazing – I should never have gone back). I’m going in fits and starts at the moment – I did three and a half weeks but then had one glass of wine and a gin (different days) last week. I want to try and get to Christmas now with a good run being alcohol free as the best Christmas present to myself but I still think about drinking every day so it’s tough ! But with blogs and communities like this one I’m hoping it will be possible 🙂

    1. Well done for sticking with this Holly. It sounds as if there’s some mindset working coming up for you to work through here – there’s obviously something that keeps pulling you back to alcohol, something you feel you’re missing out on. Working on this will be key for long term, happy sobriety. If you need any help to get to the bottom of it, this is exactly the kind of thing we cover on my course. Here are some more details: https://thesoberschool.com/course/

  12. I have reached 6 months AF now. I’ve lost 30 pounds. I have recently been thinking alot about pouring myself a nice glass of wine as a reward for being AF for 6 months! I won’t pour that first glass as my reward because I think about how I will regret drinking the next morning. Maybe this is just a rough patch. I’m so tired of this virus. Kay

  13. Hi Kate, I think my favorite one right now is “I deserve to wake up feeling good”. It’s the morning when I beat myself up the most. Days that I can resist I’m always so much happier in the morning. I’m still trying to get started on the journey and believe that I can but often talk myself into “tomorrow”.
    I’m hoping to be able to join your January class for some support. Thank you so much for sharing your incredible insight and support for those of us struggling. You are a life line I’m trying to grab ahold of.

    1. Giving it a go! Loaded some quotes on my phone to pop up during my challenging time….. 4:30-7:00 is usually the weak spot for me.

  14. I needed this today – day 6. I rarely drink more than 2-3 glasses of wine and the impacts on my life are subtle, not big. But I can’t deny it’s a problem, that the impacts are there and that I feel hugely deprived without.
    So much AUD talk is about BIG drinking and BIG problems – this makes it too easy for me to rationalize and give in!
    These reminders, though, are all totally relevant regardless of where on the AUD spectrum you are.

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