When you walk past a pub garden and you see people drinking in the sunshine, what’s the first thought that runs through your head?
Is it: “I’m so jealous, I want a drink too!” or “Lucky them…” or “Perhaps I could just have one…”
If you’re trying to take a break from drinking right now, moments like these can make you want to ditch your sober goals.
But before you do, let’s talk about what’s really going on – because I promise, it’s not actually about the drink!
Key points
Everything gets a glow-up at this time of year
It’s the same every spring. All of a sudden, you notice just how light the days are. The temperature is better. The blossom is out along with the bluebells and you feel the relief of winter being over. Everything seems to get a glow-up – including alcohol.
Outside, glasses of wine will literally glint in the sun. (Everything looks better on a sunny day, right?) People sit outside to drink and catch some rays, and you’re noticing that too. All these things can come together like a giant, glowy advert for alcohol!
But what are you really craving?
Let’s go a layer deeper, because there’s more to this than meets the eye. It’s not just about wanting a drink. The true craving might be about you wanting to duck out of your normal obligations. Or you might want to sunbathe and rest. Maybe drinking alcohol is the only way you’ve allowed yourself to do that in the past and drop the things you “should” be doing.
Or perhaps seeing other people drinking in the sun reminds you of the people you love spending time with, and haven’t seen in a while. Or maybe your true craving is for a reward. Or a treat. These are real, legitimate needs and they deserve to be met.
Hear me on this: you do not need to pour a glass of wine to give yourself permission to rest. You do not need alcohol to feel connected to people you love spending time with or to enjoy the sunshine. It’s just that alcohol gets bundled up into so many good experiences, sometimes it’s hard for us to see that.
The darker side that you don’t see
The next time you walk past a buzzing pub garden, remember that all you’re seeing is a snapshot. You are seeing the highlight reel. You’re not seeing what happens later that evening, or the next morning. You cannot see the true cost of what’s in those glasses.
Some people may be very unhappy with their drinking, but we don’t see that from the outside. Some people might be sad, lonely or struggling to hear the conversation. Some “boozers” might not be drinking at all, actually – because alcohol-free drinks aren’t that easy to spot.
Tip 1: Focus your mind on something useful
First things first, make sure you supervise your mind here by asking the right questions. A great question here is: “What am I gaining by staying alcohol free during this spring/summer season?” Stop letting your mind ruminate on the opposite and identify what those benefits are for you.
Tip 2: Satisfy your real craving
Make sure you address the underlying need that’s coming up here. For me, seeing people drink in pub gardens reminds me of carefree afternoons with friends who I don’t see as much as I’d like to anymore. So I make sure I arrange something with them. At other times, I realise that I need some time off too, so I make sure to give myself that. What is it for you?
Let me know…
What do you genuinely need on a sunny day? What’s really behind those cravings? And remember, you can have everything you want without drinking alcohol 😊
Ready to create an alcohol-free life you love? Click here to learn more about my Getting Unstuck course.
14 responses
Loved this, sun nature serenity. Ticks all my boxes. Throw in an AF lager in a pretty colourful beer garden and I’d be in heaven
Exactly Sinead! You can enjoy all the ritual of relaxing with friends in the sun and nature, just without the alcohol. 🙂
Hello, from both Cynthia & George B. across the Pond. Wonderful video and right on target for all of us this spring. Yes, the “euphoria” we see is very deceptive! We pass an outdoor bistro every Sunday after church & see folks “relaxing” outside – news flash – pastries & no beer/wine is served. One doesn’t see this at first because of the romantic image of the Garden Pub. My husband, George, remarked that the state of euphoria happens when a combination of things occur, many of which can be desires we can address without drinking. Maybe the self-confidence part of that makes folks think they need a drink as well as handle one. For me, the wine has nothing to do with spring!
Point proved; at a glance it could be an alcohol-free beverage in someone’s glass and you can definitely achieve happiness at a gathering in the sunshine without ethanol. Spot on Cynthia and George! 🙂
When I see a beer garden or a patio filled with people, I think I’m looking for connection.
That’s good information to know and you can achieve that whatever liquid is in your glass. 🙂
When I see a group of people together drinking and I have a good time, I feel left out. I know I will never be part of the drinking scene again. What I know is I am craving connection with other people. Some days, I feel like I am a spectator looking in at my own life. I am missing people that are no longer here.
The key thing to do here is to check your thoughts – are they really true? As I say in my video, sobriety doesn’t mean you miss out on connection with friends and you don’t have to be part of the ‘drinking scene’ to achieve that. An AF beer, gin or wine tastes just as great without the hangover.
When the thought of missing out comes up, ask yourself: what’s the story I’m telling myself here? Use it as a cue to explore a particular belief you have. For example, do you really need to drink to have fun? What about all those times when you’ve drunk and not had a great experience? I wrote another blog on this topic that you might find helpful Alicia: https://thesoberschool.com/cant-imagine-socialising-sober-focus-on-this/
I’m now 2 and 1/2 years alcohol free (thanks to Kate and Sober School) but I can definitely identify with this blog about stopping during the day and wanting / having a drink in the spring sunshine …. It’s what I used to do. However now when I stop I choose a tea, coffee or an alcohol free drink with little thought or pressure of needing alcohol. It’s taken time but I’m there now
Congratulations Fiona! ❤️ Behaviour change takes time, but the rewards are immense!
Thank you Kate I am sober since July 2025 and yes the craving is definitely still there when I pass garden pubs and bars. The most adorable line I always tell myself is I now have an upgraded life style
Absolutely Lina. Congratulations on your 9 months of upgraded living!
For me it’s the brunch mimosas on the restaurant patios! However, one day last summer I remembered how any alcohol makes me feel hotter in warm weather and I end up not enjoying my brunch. A few weeks ago I was at a birthday brunch and ordered a freshing club soda with a lime which is my go too. I knew the food was good at this restaurant and I was excited to have a good meal and catch up with my friend. It was about 10 minutes before I even noticed several people were drinking cocktails! Thank you Kate
It’s worth remembering what the event is truly about; the company and great food. Alcohol deserves no credit at all!