Very few people quit drinking overnight. Most of us spend a long time wondering whether it’s the right thing to do.
Even when we decide we are ready, there can be a lot to figure out, and things can feel hard.
I call this the ‘messy middle’.
It’s that frustrating stage when you’re not where you want to be… but you’re not quite sure how to change.
You’re in the thick of doubt, discomfort and uncertainty.
If this sounds like you, please don’t give up.
Here are three things to remember when you’re finding sobriety hard:
One of the reasons I love coaching women to quit drinking is because I get to spend time with incredible people, who are brave enough to rock the boat a little and decide they want something different.
I get to work with women who want to change, improve and grow. They’re willing to ask themselves the big questions and do what it takes to create lives they feel really good about. And guess what? I’ve got a feeling you’re one of those people too.
If you’re reading this blog, then you’re already questioning whether alcohol really is everything it’s cracked up to be. It doesn’t matter where you are in that shift, or how much work there is left to do. The fact is, you’ve stepped into the arena.
It’s rare for anyone to be an ‘overnight success’. When you think about the people you really look up to, who you admire and respect, what kind of history do they have? It’s rarely ever easy. There’s nearly always been some kind of struggle there.
It’s the hard times that make us. When you’ve been through a few storms, you tend to be more aware of what really matters in life. You’re more accepting of yourself and others. The struggle you’ve been through always gets put to good use.
When we’re learning how to walk, we don’t give up as soon as we fall over. When we’re learning to spell, we accept our mistakes because after all, we’re learning. If we fail our driving test, it doesn’t mean we’re any less of a person, does it?
In most areas of life, we have a pretty healthy attitude towards mistakes. Yet with sobriety, we tend to come into it convinced there’s something wrong with us, so if we don’t ‘get it’ straight away, our sense of failure increases.
Consider this. What if there was no way you were going to get sober without first making some monumental mistakes? Just to be clear – I’m not giving you permission to give up on your AF goals. But what I am saying is this: sobriety is rarely a smooth path from A to B.
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
Thomas A. Edison
Screwing up is part of you figuring out what works and what doesn’t. It’s how you realise what you really need – whether that be community, accountability, extra support, advice, strategies… you don’t know what you need until you take action.
Don’t give up yet. The chances are, you’re on the verge of a massive breakthrough.
If you’d love some help and support to quit drinking, click here for details of my online course.