For a long time, I was very keen on the idea of moderation.
I was drinking too much and feeling awful… but I didn’t want to stop completely. Sobriety was way too radical a step for someone like me, right?
I was one of those people who bought nice wine. I didn’t drink every day of the week. I held down a good job. I went running and drank smoothies and practised yoga. I was definitely not some rock bottom, down-and-out drinker.
But… when I did drink, things went a bit crazy. Once I started, I couldn’t stop. I definitely seemed to be missing an off switch!
I was convinced I just needed to find some better strategies for cutting down.
So with the help of google, I devised some creative schemes to help me manage and control my alcohol intake.
I’d really hate for all that ‘research’ to go to waste, so please do let me share it with you…
(Consider this the opposite of a list of suggestions!)
- Buy low alcohol drinks
- Keep alcohol out of the house
- Don’t drink alone
- Wait until 6pm to start drinking
- Buy alcohol you don’t actually like the taste of
- Only drink with meals
- Only drink wine
- Only drink beer
- Only drink during happy hour
- Only drink at the weekend
- Only drink on alternate days
- Buy miniature bottles of wine
- Use smaller glasses
- If buying regular bottles, tip away some of it first
- Draw a line at the halfway mark on the bottle
- Add water or ice to your drinks
- Drink a glass of water after every alcoholic drink
- Take less cash out with you
- In pubs, buy all your own drinks and avoid rounds
- Drink only low calorie drinks – use weight loss as a motivator
- Book an early morning gym class as a deterrent
- Pace yourself: commit to only having one drink an hour
- Or set a timer and have one sip every 5 minutes
- Keep an alcohol units diary where you set goals and targets
- Take a week off every now and then to try and ‘reset’.
Here’s what I learnt…
When it comes to dealing with a mind-altering, addictive drug that zaps your willpower and changes the way you think, it’s really hard to stick to your plans, no matter what tricks you use.
The methods above would work every now and then, but never on a consistent basis. Plus, sticking to these self-imposed rules was really hard work. I’m nearly five years sober now and just looking back at this list makes me feel exhausted!
It’s the decision-making fatigue that gets you. You’re constantly having to exercise willpower, negotiate with yourself about when you’ll drink, what you’ll have, whether you’ll stick to the rules, break them, push the boundaries, etc etc… it’s a constant drain on your energy.
I wish I’d known back then…
That not drinking at all was actually so much easier. Honestly – it’s such a breeze by comparison! The problem with cutting down (rather than cutting out) is that it reinforces the belief that you cannot properly enjoy life without alcohol.
You carry on feeding that part of you that’s been duped into thinking you can’t be truly content unless you have a little bit of this liquid drug in your life. Putting a toxic, cancer-causing poison up on a pedestal like that is really not a good idea.
When you’re sober, you get to see booze for what it really is i.e. a load of crap that’s holding you back.
Tolerance will bite you on the bum
Here’s the real kicker. Even if you’re determined to play the moderation game – and you’re happy to put lots of willpower, effort and energy into controlling booze – tolerance WILL screw you over in the end.
No matter what your alcohol intake, there will eventually come a point where you need more booze in order to feel the same effects.
Ok, so what do I do now?
Pause and reflect
Be honest with yourself: how long have you been trying to cut down for? How have those attempts to control your drinking made you feel? As I discovered, there’s no real secret to moderation: it’s highly unlikely that there’s a magic trick out there you’ve missed.
Ask the right question
Too often we focus on whether our drinking is ‘bad enough’ for us to quit, when really, we should be asking, “Is this good enough for me to stay as I am?” In other words, are you willing to keep on putting up with all the downsides to drinking, because they’re not going to go away. I wrote about this here.
Take a break from booze
If you’re ready to try something new, take sobriety for a test drive. Give it 100% for a set period of time e.g. six weeks. Then you can see how you feel at the end – you might just be surprised how much you love it! For more help with this, check out my stop drinking course. I also talk more about taking a break here.