If you’ve stopped drinking or you’re trying to quit, you might have mixed feelings about the next few weeks.
The festive season brings with it plenty of parties, celebrations and of course… alcohol.
If you’ve found socialising sober to be a bit of a dull or awkward experience, then you’re not alone.
There’s a very good reason that parties can seem less fun, sober – but it’s probably not what you think!
I explain all in this week’s video…
What isn’t the problem
Boring parties have nothing to do with a lack of alcohol. Booze isn’t magic joy juice – it can’t guarantee a lovely time for you. How do we know this? Well, just think about all the times you’ve drunk a lot and still felt bored, sad or unsatisfied!
Being the odd one out isn’t the problem here either. It doesn’t matter if you’re the only one socialising sober. There are plenty of other times in life where you’re happy to be different. If you’re vegetarian or passionate about a certain cause or hobby, I bet you don’t care what others think then!
Here’s the real problem
It’s your thoughts that are the issue here. Your thoughts create your feelings, not your circumstances. Socialising sober is not good or bad, easy or hard – it’s completely neutral until you have a thought about that situation, which creates a certain experience for you.
For example, thinking: “I won’t have as much fun if I’m not drinking,” will create the feeling of being disheartened. When you’re disheartened, what do you do? You probably won’t look forward to the party and you’ll ruminate over whether to drink instead. And then those actions create a real-life experience where you don’t have fun.
Power thoughts on socialising sober
Let me show you the power of having a different thought in this situation. If your thought about a party was: “I can have a great time no matter what’s in my glass,” that thought would create a feeling of positivity.
When you’re feeling positive, you’re more likely to show up as your best self. You’ll probably be more confident, engage others in conversation and won’t take things so personally. As a result of that, guess what happens? The chances are that you’ll end up having a good time!
Remember: your thoughts aren’t facts. You get to choose what you want to think about something. But it’s a big leap to go from: “I won’t have as much fun if I’m not drinking,” to “I can have a great time no matter what’s in my glass!” all on your own.
This is where getting coached and having the right support comes in. On my Getting Unstuck course – my stop drinking programme – we do a lot of work on your thoughts and your beliefs, so that you can choose new thoughts and truly believe them.
Click here to find out more about the next Getting Unstuck course.